Dale Dietzman posted a comment on Wednesday 10th January 2007 5:01pm

Hi Viridian,

I am a continuing fan of this story as well as some of your other work. I am not a constant commenter, but I am posting to encourage you to keep up the good work.

As a possible thought on your development of Madam Longbottom, and at least a look on a verry different and interesting take on this "minor" character, have you ever read A. J. Hall's LoPiverse stories? "Dissipation and Dispair" paints a VERY different picture of Nev's Gran from most, and gives a well developed characterization of her. Whether you would want to develope her the same way, or not, I thinkyou would enjoy the sotry and find "fod for thought" in it's use of Mrs. Longbottom as a not so minor character.

slasheh posted a comment on Sunday 7th January 2007 1:06pm

Great story, i really wish you'd update more, but considering that i know what it is like to work full time and how demanding writing can be i really can't harras you about that.

I love the way harry isn't a god, but rather insecure and realistic in many ways.
My only criticism is how you handle Dumbledore, while i agree that he has many faults (even in the way JKR treats him in canon) he seems a bit dense in your story. Certainly his reaction to harry being almost killed by a student should be stronger, considering how much he has invested into him.

Aside from that i love your characters. Though they are OOC by now, their journey to this point is very realistic and well done, which is something that can be rarely said about fanfiction.

So, in closing, keep up the good work

Sam Watts posted a comment on Thursday 4th January 2007 2:06pm

Hey man, just have to say this is an AWESOME series; angsty yet not emo, action packed yet not mindless, creative and thought provoking yet not...circular in the way that lots of mentally oriented series go (you know how they're so concerned about what everyone thinks that nothing happens, or everything gets too contorted and twisted). Just have to say, congratulations... Oh yeah, for some reason it's a lifesaver during the college app. process to be able to pop over and read a few chapters of NOFP or team 8, particularly NOFP...

Robert1 posted a comment on Tuesday 2nd January 2007 10:59am

After my twelfth rereading, I had a thought. Would the age line around the Goblet of Fire register Harry as fourteen or thirty-three? This is my favorite WIP and one of my favorites overall, keep up the good work.

Lincoln posted a comment on Saturday 16th December 2006 10:49pm

i have a question for you.. How will Luna and Neville cross the great divide that is Mrs Longbottom? I hope Harry figures out how to send enough support to Neville to keep him from becoming ostracised..

abrakadabra posted a comment on Friday 1st December 2006 5:21pm

Please update, awaiting patiently scratch that I have an ulcer and the only cure is more tNoFP.

Tammy S posted a comment on Sunday 26th November 2006 4:23pm

Great chapter! Please update as soon as you can.I understand you have to work. Reviews don't buy groceries:)

snapelady posted a comment on Sunday 26th November 2006 8:24am

*Dies*

This is one of the best fanfics I've ever come across. One of my Proffesors pointed it out to me... and I've spent the last day and a half printing it out and reading it. This is definetely a keeper (hope you don't mind that I did the hard copy thing - I just do that with the few spectacular fanfics I come across.. If you do mind, tell me to go dunk myself in the Giant Squids orifice o.O lol)

Seriously, this is spectacular... Can't wait until you update more ;o)

Dark_Blade posted a comment on Friday 24th November 2006 4:10pm

I'll give you half my wages ;)

magicpixie posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd November 2006 12:26pm

I've been reading your fic for about a week now and I am thoroughly (that's a word isn't it?) enthralled. Please update as soon as your schedule allows, you will have many happy readers for it. Thank you for warning us at the end of the previous chapter that Sirius was not, in fact, rabid. You had me quite worried. On a side note... you portrayed Rita masterfully. Thank you. I love her character, but she is quite often mauled because people don't understand the way her mind works. You seem to, and for that I am truly grateful. This story is a work of art and I can hardly wait for the rest! -magicpixie

Dellaran posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 8:30am

Wow.

I'm very, very impressed with this story. You take a very ambitious concept, you follow through on the plot consequences of your ideas, and you write vivid, believeable characters. I'm looking forward to more.

Leticia posted a comment on Tuesday 14th November 2006 11:21am

I was idly rereading again today, and it blossomed into the evening’s main activity and another series of random thoughts. Ooops. But there are always new things to notice! In Chapter two for example I enjoyed the irony of Ron cheering Harry up about the Dursleys using tales of his large family, when in PS it was Harry cheering Ron up after talking about being at the bottom of that large family with his hardship of the Dursleys. A subtle detail I never noticed before!

"He remembered another eleven year old girl putting her elbow in the butter dish. Things are changing, he thought with a sense of wonder." I can’t remember if I said it before, but that is one of my favourite lines. I’m not entirely sure why. There’s a sort of… hope and innocence to it I suppose, two things that are frequently in low supply with Harry.

One minor minor continuity error I noticed- In "Moonlit Discussions" Ginny says "I found this spell written on the flyleaf of one of Uncle Gideon’s old schoolbooks. It’s called the Bat-Bogey Hex and it sounds absolutely gruesome… I figure I might try that out on them," which implies she’s never used it or told Harry about it. But earlier in "The Letters of Fall" Ginny had written "I can teach you one that I use on my brothers. It’s called the bat-bogey hex and it’s really, really gross what it does to people. That’s why I like it. Even Fred and George were impressed the first time I used it on them". Small and borderline really, I’m not even sure why I’m bringing it up.

I feel I should also compliment you on your ingenious use of Mandrakes in killing household pests. Even if Neville said it. Mandrakes always make me a bit uncomfortable. I just wouldn’t want to cut up and cook something that looked like a baby. But then the wizarding world is full of dilemmas. Like, if snakes can talk, can all animals? And if so, can we really go about eating them? How real are transfigured animals? Or twisted semi-transfigured animals? I do wish I could corner JK Rowling. But back to your stuff.

This is perhaps an extremely obvious thing to mention, but it still deserves it. You portray Harry’s extreme lack of self worth very completely. He can barely take a compliment to the point where even statements that are only tangentially praise are deflected. In "Sirius, Spectacles…" for example where Ron asks if Harry used the cutting curse on the troll, despite the fact that it is basically just a check of information and the only people around are his friends who know perfectly well what happened (minus Luna, I suppose) Harry has to minimise the power of his contribution and remind everyone once more that Neville played a pivotal roll in the success of his curse. A simple yes will not suffice, though Neville at this point is no longer in need of constant bolstering.

I can’t stop worrying about the Christmas train ride back second year, even thought it’s been a while. How innocent was the unlatched door and did anyone secretly get into Harry’s trunk?

Sirius’ reaction to his own death is classic. "Sirius’ jaw dropped open. ‘That is the… the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! Killed by a stunner? Because I stopped fighting to taunt her?’" Because it is ridiculous! I don’t know what Sirius was thinking in OotP!

"Wizarding Duelling Code was the title, and Harry set it aside for future reading - but not before noticing the bookmark placed in the section regarding ‘targeting of spectators.’" That was a clever little dig from Percy I never noticed before! The more I pay attention to Percy, the more I see how well intentioned his early idiocy was this time round. It’s not fair to call it that at all really. Harry was manipulating those around him, we knew that he did it with the best intentions, but Percy didn’t and was smart enough to spot it. By the time Harry got round to favourable manipulation on Percy’s behalf Percy was too suspicious to accept it. You really can’t blame him for thinking at first that Harry’s act was a little too good to be true. His attitude still pisses me off though, fair or not. I hope for another chat between him and Harry though, now that it’s all out. I do appreciate how much thought has gone into Percy by the way. You never let even more minor characters skate by without a real depth to their reactions.

"‘Not with the ‘great fake’ and ‘what’s that in the back of my head’ as predecessors,’ George agreed," is one of the best Fred and George one-liners ever. "Or else I’ll have you buried in a dress," is pretty damn funny too. I really like your Harry, more of a feat than it seems as he is often a little whiny and/or sanctimonious in fanfiction.

"He’d think back, later, on the irony of such a thought." I really wish you hadn’t put that in. It’s driving me maaaaad.
I love the fact that in this story not all the problems that Harry encounters are the same problems he faced before distorted by time travel. Take Neville and his grandmother for example. Here we have a situation that is never even hinted at in canon, but it is realistic and vexing and unexpected. I have read many time travel reworkings of HP since yours, but none even come close to this level of intricacy. This isn’t just the story of Harry defeating Voldemort using his inside knowledge to make it easier, it’s Harry discovering how ridiculously complex life can be even when you start off with all the answers. Sometimes using those answers to do something good, like befriend Neville and Luna, can throw up a new, non-Voldemort related problem that cannot be solved with force.

I’ve been thinking (mostly in circles) about what could possibly be in store for the next few years at Hogwarts. I just don’t know. Sirius is hardly going to be news to anyone and Pettigrew has gone too deep into someone’s hands to get out in time to be the year’s focus. But then, that’s not really the way it works anymore is it? While they may have been dealt with the Philosopher’s Stone and the Chamber of Secrets were not the focus of the first two years. We’re in giant arc territory. Dementors will be involved somehow if the name given to the year is any indication. I assume that they will be under Ministry control, but then there were rogue dementors mentioned just a chapter ago. If they were rogue dementors, which I doubt… See what I mean about circles?

Either way, with Voldemort thoroughly stymied by Sirius, Remus vulnerable and knowledgeable about him and Rita poised to unleash Harry’s bombshell interview, the Ministry is the only viable enemy I can see at the moment. How closely it might be linked with Voldemort and his followers given the Pettigrew mystery is up in the air. I’m extremely aware that in canon the Ministry never had to deal with the issue of Sirius’ false imprisonment. There’s no telling what might still emerge from their efforts to save face. We have nothing to go on. I do long for Umbridge to arrive on the scene. On the one hand if third year’s theme is going to be Harry vs. the Ministry it seems likely she’d be there since that is also the theme of the canon book she appears in, but I don’t know what capacity she could be brought in under. Dumbledore’s power is not low enough to see a High Inquisitor installed. I am almost sorry that Remus will be there next year as seeing the toad go head to head with a calmer, wiser Harry and his more worldly friends would be a sight to see. I can picture the public relations disaster if she tried to use her blood quill on a thirteen year old with a vicious reporter practically on retainer. I can picture the protective Weasley’s faces when they found out. I can picture Umbridge’s reaction to competent defiance. Ah, the possibilities.

Of course, that’s ignoring the whole "agent —in-place" thing, which continues to be alarmingly opaque. There’s a strong implication that they are behind Draco escalating behaviour, maybe Snape’s too, but sadly not that much of hint whose agent they are. Very provoking.

One final query, who were you paying homage to with Neville and Luna in "Draco Receives His Due"?

(deleted) posted a comment on Tuesday 14th November 2006 12:56am

oh, and a question to add to my commment below this one: are you planning to go through all the books with your A.U. timeline? that would be sweet. go even further! :) i just wondered because
a lot of things are already undone from the canon version and its interesting to see wher you will take it. I hope you dont have the six defete voldie to early! keep up the great work! #1 fic ever!

(deleted) posted a comment on Tuesday 14th November 2006 12:46am

i will be honest, A few months ago i found this story on SIYE and thought; "Eh...no" I read the first chapter and figured it would be a oring and mediocre story. But three days ago i found it again here and since i am running out of good fan fic to read i took a bite. I have since changed my views, I LOVE THIS STORY! You are the man. This hs to be the best fan fic i have ever read and i really hope you make it through to the end. And to m it ooks like the end is FAR FAR away which pleases me more. I love good lng fic and i hope that you continue this for as long as humanly possible. Making this A.U mixed with canon...simply amazing. keep up the GREAt work! to hell with those who leave hateful reviews. Those of us who love your story are behind you 100% and that's what matter right? It would really suck for you t not finish...Hell, I WOULD pay you if i could. I enjoy this fic so much. Thanks for all you are doing. I mean it...

Angel Tears ( Trevor)

Jiapa posted a comment on Sunday 12th November 2006 1:57am

I just finished reading chapter 31. I think I read all the chapters in the last day and a half. *grin*

Thank you very much for writing this story. I just love it. I enjoy the concept of time travel, and I really appreciate the way you have taken the original individuals and projected them forward in time, with changes, in a consistent fashion. Yes, this have changed, but they've changed plausibly, which is a lot more fun to read.

With Voldemort's day's bones destroyed, and so much changed already, the "final confrontation" may be a bit anticlimatic. It will be interested to see both how you run the final confrontation, and what the Hogwarts Six do _after_ they win. I'm just really enjoying the day to day descriptions of life in the Weasley household, manipulations to free Sirius, pay Remus, capture Pittigew, and use Rita Skeeter on the side of right. I'm looking forward to seeing how the Wizarding world gets reshaped as well.

I did notice your forwards on the last few chapters, about a time-consuming job and less frequent updates. I am happy for you, of course, that you have a job you enjoy (assuming you wouldn't give them that much time unless you enjoyed it), but on a purely selfish level, I want MORE STORY. *grin*

I look forward to reading future chapters. Thank you for writing.

RobRiccetti posted a comment on Saturday 11th November 2006 8:43am

Really liking it - I just wish I had discovered it later when it was finished. The wait is killing me but I know that quality takes time. How much would it cost the readers to impose these deadlines you mentioned?

morriganscrow posted a comment on Friday 3rd November 2006 9:30pm

I've just finished the available 31 chapters and am impressed. I've read several "Harry goes back in time" stories and this is, without a doubt, the best.
Your fluid, polished writing style is easy to read and most enjoyable. Your characterizations are excellent, especially the duality of Harry. The technical aspects of your writing are spot-on (no doubt due, in part, to your marvellous betas!) and your plot and story arcs are logical, well planned and professionally executed.
The couple of hours I've spent reading this has been time very well spent. I'm on tenterhooks awaiting the next update.

vheritas@aapt.net.au

abrakadabra posted a comment on Thursday 2nd November 2006 3:00pm

awesome chapter, please update soon

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Thursday 2nd November 2006 6:47am

Declaring war on the Ministry first - clever and a half! Excellent intervew with Rita.

The training is well thoughtout. I had to go to great lengths to get the gang trained as they should be. You started them off early, and that is much more logical - Dumbledore should have been seeing to Harry's training from day one, if not before.

Great stuff!

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Thursday 2nd November 2006 6:11am

The tell-it-all scene was amazing and gut-wrenching.

I hope this Percy does much better.

One more cliffie and only one more chapter posted.

Can't wait!