By Viridian
Reviews
Marisa Crosset posted a comment on Saturday 13th May 2006 12:35pm
More than worth the wait! Excellent as always.
Wish I could be useful with some constructive criticism, but the best I can do is unconditional encouragement. I just love this story.
Oh and what a wonderful ending with Harry and Ginny! :)
Viridian replied:
Thanks!
And yes, I had an urge to elaborate more during the last scene, but I'm glad it was left the way it was. Neither of them are really sure what they want to say at this point, even if they could build up the nerve to do it...
artdam posted a comment on Saturday 13th May 2006 12:27pm
The chapter is great, as is the story.
One thing though, you didn't to mention what happened with DADA (who's teaching it) after you made a point to bring Snape's departure.
Viridian replied:
That will be mentioned soon. They aren't 100% sure the healers at St. Mungo's might not be able to fix him up over the weekend. Even if it's obvious, it's a bit cold to make plans to replace an injured faculty member before you even know for sure he can't make his next class...
Hagrid posted a comment on Saturday 13th May 2006 12:27pm
It was most certainly worth the wait! Wow! What kind of twisted mind could twist a twisted story and yet have it remain...twisted? A great job, but don't be too hard on them nasty yanks as yer callin' them. Som'att tells me there are some of them that like yer story.
Viridian replied:
As a Yank myself (I currently live near Atlanta), that was just a little sarcasm. (Thus the smiley-face.) One of my betas chides me on the Americanisms that creep in my writing - almost as it were a unpleasant social disease.
sunrisesunset posted a comment on Saturday 13th May 2006 12:20pm
Three things:
1) Awesome way to play out the climax of Harry's second year. It seemed a bit abrupt at first (fast-forwarding more than a month), but you took care of that well and planned out a refreshingly original way to take care of Skeeter, Lockhart, the basilisk, the diary, Dobby, and both Malfoys.
2) Harry's long-awaited confession! I'm glad it turned out the way it did. Very symbolic to have it happen in the Chamber of Secrets, by the way. It will be interesting seeing what questions Hermione and the others come to Harry with later.
3) Harry and Ginny's relationship develops. It would have been very easy to either have the two of them confess to each other right now, but I'm glad you didn't. Love takes time, and that wouldn't have been as believable.
Overall... a chapter that's just bloody brilliant!! Keep it up!
Viridian replied:
1) Thanks! I've had this planned out for a while - it's been quite a relief to finally get to it!
2) The symbolism was intentional. And yes, it's going to be a very interesting summer in some ways...
3) They are both very unsure of what they are doing at this point. The future-Harry memories don't help much here - in canon Harry sort of stumbled into his relationships, and he had nothing at all after the Hogwarts Massacre. Ginny has an advantage over him in some ways, but she also needs to sort out her feelings and figure out exactly who the real Harry is... a question he can't even answer for himself.
ZanyMuggle posted a comment on Saturday 13th May 2006 12:18pm
Wow. That was one of the best story payoffs in HP fanfiction since Arabella and Zsenya's "After The End". Wow.
You really did bring the various disparate threads together in a way that paralleled canon wonderfully, but didn't have any gratuitous or "forced" scenes. Of course, I especially love that Snape and Malfoy got their just desserts.
Best of all, the characters were all themselves, i.e. true to canon.
Thanks for writing. I look forward to the Afterward, and to the next "book".
Viridian replied:
Wow yourself. That's high praise indeed! I read that last year, shortly after I started HP&NFP.
Jack Sloper posted a comment on Saturday 13th May 2006 12:16pm
Very well written. Not just this chapter, but the story overall. I've tried to read some other stories where young Harry has memories or advice from Older Harry, and yours is honestly the only one that I've stuck with.
I especially like how you are able to flesh out all your ideas, instead of just glossing over things that we know from the books.
Keep up the good work and update faster! *smirk*
Viridian replied:
Thanks, I'm trying not to skip over anything. Luna is hand for when things get a little tedious.
With my work schedule 3 weeks between updates (2 weekends writing and 1 week with the betas) is about as fast as it's going to get, sorry!
But if you know any independently wealthy fan fiction readers who'd like to become my patron of the arts, please let me know! I updated a lot faster when I was unemployed, lol.
Mickey posted a comment on Saturday 13th May 2006 12:13pm
Very nice. although I did find the coincidence of Harry begining to recover just as Ginny was kidnapped, or was that supposed to be causative?
So was Draco the conspiritor or is there still someone else there?
The Unicorn
Viridian replied:
If you've read accounts of coma patients, they will often display awareness of conversations that happened in their presence while they were comatose. Harry had been recovering for a while, and that half-heard conversation at the beginning of the chapter was an example of this. What he heard was sufficiently distressing that it roused him from his stupor, as it were.
If you read the snippets from the 'conspirator' and compare them with where they occur in the storyline you should get an idea. Harry also speculates about this during this chapter.
Khadon posted a comment on Saturday 13th May 2006 11:55am
Wow! Lots of stuff happening in this chapter. Good job and it was great to see the year get wrapped up nicely. Bit of a shock to see Snape and Draco go "bye bye" but a welcome one. I guess I couldn't really see Harry putting up with Snape for much longer. Not that I don't love this fic but I'm hoping that since this one is winding to a close you can maybe give us an update of "Team 8" before too long. IT's also really good. Thanks.
Viridian replied:
I've started putting together the outline for chapter 5 of Team 8 this weekend.
Kevin posted a comment on Saturday 13th May 2006 11:48am
All I can say is "WONDERFUL".
Thank you for this chapter! It was just perfect and set the stage for moving the story forward.
I continue to be truly impressed by your writing skill, your story line, and your dialogue.
Can't wait for the next chapter.
Viridian replied:
Wow, thank you!
m4rk6 posted a comment on Saturday 13th May 2006 11:47am
Your writing is, as always, excellent. I'd write a better review, but I'm working on 3 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours, so keep it up! And I promise a better review next chapter :)
Viridian replied:
Well, thanks for reading!
Charles Slone posted a comment on Saturday 13th May 2006 11:44am
nice wrap up Viridian, can't wait to see the rest of this bad boy, so far this has been the only Post HBP story i have been able to read with out going "wtf" yes i disagree with the Horcrux thoery, sorta came out of left field though didnt it lol
Viridian replied:
Well, once you know what the DIary was, the concept seems a bit less bizarre.
Yes, technically this is a post-HBP story, but I've taken it in rather a different direction...
Thanks!
AK posted a comment on Saturday 13th May 2006 11:11am
And the moral of the story? If you got homicidal diaries hide them better! :D
Anyway nice chapter it does cover alot of grounds, though I agree with Arthur about Draco. Also what is Dumbledore doing with Snape now? 'Cause he knows it's partially his fault that Harry died, but does he still trust him? As a spy?
Really looking forwards to seeing how his friends will react to Sirius :-)
Viridian replied:
That was the most secure place Harry knew of.
Draco isn't in Azkaban because there were no witnesses. Technically, Harry didn't see him either.
Albus can't keep Snape on at the school and expect cooperation from any of the people that were in his office (aside from Snape, Ferret, and Ferret Sr.). Beyond that? Who knows?
Well, his friends already know most of the facts, don't they?
Ike posted a comment on Saturday 13th May 2006 10:55am
Fantastic chapter! I'm surprised that both Draco and Snape admitted to doing so much during the meeting at the end, though. I'm happy at least that they both got punished for it, in the end, though this will drastically affect the future (I'm sure Draco will end up much stronger in the future, if he has private tutors throughout his education).
Viridian replied:
Well, it's not like they had much choice, did they? Draco was caught red-handed with the cloak. And Harry *didn't* wake up with amnesia, so he was able to establish that someone had impersonated him, which implicated Snape. Severus tried to pretty it up as much as possible as a 'normal investigation that took a tragic turn', but it seems that Albus needs Harry and the other Gryffindors more than he needs his spy.
As for Draco, remember that everything has consequences.
jayley posted a comment on Friday 5th May 2006 3:33pm
well, i hope his and ginny's relationship works out ok. scary cliffhanger!!! can't wait for your next chapter!
Patches posted a comment on Friday 5th May 2006 8:17am
I really want to congratulate you on this story. It is excellent. I have enjoyed reading it and it has become one of my favorites. I am also going to read Team 8 but I am really looking forward to more of this story. Quite a nasty cliffhanger you left! Harry being stunned and breaking more bones! I sure hope he gets care quickly! Thank you for writing. I really appreciate your tallent and efforts. pms
Arvin Betancourt posted a comment on Friday 5th May 2006 4:45am
PLEASE!!!!
Update as soon as possible!!!!
Sovran posted a comment on Thursday 4th May 2006 7:06am
I posted this review over on SIYE, but I didn't want there to be any question of just how much I like this story, so here it is again.
I've just picked up this story for the first time (hence my first review), but I must say it's really enjoyable. I love how you found a way to write Post-HBP, AU, and Super!Harry all at the same time in a plausible way. Especially since you kept Super!Harry from becoming some sort of talisman for everything going right in the world. I find myself vested in the outcome (some things must work out or There Will Be Fire), which is a rare and wonderful feeling.
There are a very few tiny technical errors, but in fandom that's practically the holy grail, so I'm not picking.
My only concern is that sometimes the characters, other than Harry, seem to think and act more like 15+ year olds than 11-12 year olds. At the same time, I can come up with a list of plausible excuses for this, so I guess I'm mostly interested in seeing how it continues and if it's explained any more.
Finally, I am THRILLED that you've got a really great 200k+ word story and you've not even finished with second year. That's a wonderful sign.
On an added note, I like having this story on both FFA and SIYE, as it gives me some reassurances about things that are important to me in HP. There May Not Be Fire on that point. If that's not clear enough, then enjoy the mystery. =)
Tammy S posted a comment on Wednesday 3rd May 2006 3:56pm
Excellent chapter! I can't wait for the next. I actually went back and read the whole thing again from the start. You are a fanfic master!!!
Alorkin posted a comment on Wednesday 3rd May 2006 9:41am
This is an excellent story. When I find a new story, I usually try to read whatever already exists before adding my two Knuts. I figure it's only fair to see where the author is going before I comment.
OK, That said, I have read four or five 'Harry goes back' stories. They provide a welcome change to a number of over-familiar genre's. Rather like a palate cleanser between courses.
You have a really interesting set-up here. Harry's losing everything in the final battle (and it's lead-up) leads to his life and death decision. I read one like this, which unfortunately seems to have been abandoned, called: 'Averto Vicis' There's also a funny one called 'Lets do the time warp again'. (after all, it's just a jump to the left...) 'The other side of the mirror' is also excellent.
Your attention to detail is remarkable. You've carefully worked out all the wrinkles to date, and based on your previous chapters, I don't see that changing anytime soon.
It's nice to read about a Ron who isn't a jealous ass, a Hermione who is more human than a study machine, and a Ginny who isn't a two dimensional paper doll.
You've also included some rather interesting insights about the two least mentioned people in the series. Neville and Luna. Their introduction in the original series makes absolutely no sense. Here, Neville is a human being, not a human punching bag, and Luna's peculiarities are well explained. I honestly cannot imagine why Rowling introduced her in the first place. In JKR's stories, she served no purpose at all. Go figger.
Some of your people are pretty much standard. Snape is a bastard, Draco is a Death Eater in training. Molly is overprotective, and Percy is a prat. A surprise here is the charater of Arthur Weasley. In the stories, he's almost as much a non-entity as Neville. You've made him a real, thinking, feeling person. Well done!
Your portrayal of Bill, Charlie and the twins is pretty much what I'd expect, but I'm glad you're making the work harder. I really hope they scrape by with more than three OWL's each this time.
You also did a fine job on Sirius Black. The ministry (read Lucius Malfoy) interference guarantees a great future chapter or three!
Harry's manipulations of dear Rita are very Slytherinish. I don't like that pestanyway. it's good that some use can found rot her. Harry's revenge against his 'family' also played out well, although I would have had him buy the note on #4, and have the Dursley's pay the mortgage to HIM. That would have been sweet. Goldfarb seems a likable enough chap.
I am usually a Harry/Hermione shipper, as I feel it's the most logical pairing, given thethat they both grew up inthe same environamnt, and have both had to endure the same kind of bigotry, however, I really enjoy stories about our intrepid hero and whatever lady he finds...IF they are well written. This one is. There is so much not included in Rowlings books. I think that's why so many people are so disappointed with the-book-that-must-not-be-named. Characters changed overnight from one personality to another.
Harry is getting in deeply, here, and athough he seems able to take care fo himself well enough, as you pointed out, he's been getting sloppy. This latest cliffy only tends to reinforce that idea. I'm betting the assailant is eithe Snape, Draco, or your mystery person. More likely not, as he(?) would need to maintain his(?) secrecy for the time being. I figure it cannot be Dumbles, because Harry fell backwards on the stairs. Dd would not allow him to be injured like so. Draco would revell in it and Snape would use it to allow him easy access to Harry's mind. I really hope something nasty happens to whoever done it!
I will anxiously await the next installment. Alorkin
Lincoln posted a comment on Saturday 13th May 2006 12:50pm
Viridian replied: