By Viridian
Reviews
M2J MandalorianJedi posted a comment on Saturday 3rd March 2007 3:46am
I have one and only complaint. It's actually going to do more for your ego though...
Since the beginning of the AU PoA storyline started I've wanted to see either Harry blowing the doors of with a monster patronus or Harry's worst fear.
I can see the logic in not doing the first one just yet, but we all know it's coming. Especially with Harry's power boost. The second... You just had to stop there didn't you? Granted it gives you a head start for the next chapter AND leaves you with one helluva cliffhanger, but the wait is sooooo killing me, but will be well worth it!
With Sirius at the Burrow and Pettigrew missing, I can't help but wonder exactly what you have planned for the coming year. I have the faintest feeling that Harry's fear is going require explanations to both Remus and Dumbledore...
Asthroth posted a comment on Saturday 3rd March 2007 3:22am
It's an ok chapter, but not much seemed to occur this time around. Oh, well, the joys of another three+ month wait. Still, I'm really having fun reading this story, thanks for such a complicated and cerebral plot:-)
MercuryBlue posted a comment on Saturday 3rd March 2007 3:14am
Nitpick: It's Vincent Crabbe, not Victor.
Why do I have the feeling that Harry's boggart will be various friends' corpses accusing him of killing them through inaction and going on about how nothing he's doing will change anything?
angrymonkey posted a comment on Saturday 3rd March 2007 2:59am
great to finally see another chapter. To be honest it was much better than the previous three, that seemed a little draggy. I think the reason it was so much better was that you let the plot line move forward at a good pace as opposed describing every minute detail.
Good work hope the next update is sooner than the last.
marcelhm posted a comment on Tuesday 20th February 2007 12:22am
well I like it so here is my review ^^.
I must say I'm impressed how you managed to write a convincing harry (mindset etc) I also love how you slightly altered his friends so they all became the persons you always hoped them to be when you read the original story. and finaly I love how you still manage to supprise in a story that I feared might get boring since it's doing all the books all over again. (want to know what;s with nev's gran!!).
my only critique would be the way how you planted a grownup mind in a 11 year old body and basicly glossed over hormones. you mentioned it once I believe. and second relationships, either start them or don't start them but now you seem to just can't make up your mind. (ofcourse this is just my opinion especialy the second pary)
a solid 8.9/10 as a rating so keep up the great work
slayersfan01 posted a comment on Sunday 18th February 2007 11:50pm
I'm wondering when you are going to update this fiv Viridian-sama. It's been a long while since this chapter came out. Please, update this fic soon. I absolutely love it and think that it is the best out of the 'Harry goes back in time' category.
Rayven posted a comment on Friday 16th February 2007 10:49am
I’m offering one (1) original character for the person who recognizes the homage I paid with Neville and Luna in this chapter.
I know I'm horribly late with the answer, and I couldn't care about an OC, but I wanted to answer anyway ;)
The homage you mentioned would be Luna's comment"At least I won’t have to change my initials."
Luna Lovegood and Luna Longbottom both have the same initials - L.L.
Anyway, on with the reading, this story is very captivating.
Thiago Krause posted a comment on Monday 12th February 2007 12:55pm
Pretty good story. I usually don't like time-travelling fics, but this one was excellent, good enough to keep me reading for two days in a row. I can only hope now for you to finish it soon, though I know it won't occur, since there's still a lot of ground to cover. However, congratulations and keep writing, please.
Ah, by the way, there's a lot of stuff I disagree on your canon's interpretation. First: after HPB Harry's loyalty to Dumbledore is almost unquestionable. Second, I do think Snape killed Dumbledore following Dumbledore's orders. Third, I'm almost sure Harry will be the last horcrux. Fourth, I do believe that love will play a much greater part in canon, and Harry won't hate nearly as much as you've pictured him in this story. However, I understand that it was nedeed for your plot to work.
Christina C. Keimig posted a comment on Sunday 11th February 2007 8:14am
Okay, so now I've finally gotten caught up on reading my backlog of chapters. This fic is so amazing that once I get into it, I never want to stop reading until it's done. Oh, well. I just have to wait for the next chapter to come out. :-)
pyrodaemon posted a comment on Saturday 10th February 2007 6:34am
I found this story a long while ago, on a rec list. I think I read it on another site and I can't remember if I reviewed or not so I'm going to do so again.
I love the picture on the chapter page. Its really well done (don't know if you did it or its a fanpic) and I like seeing how you (or whoever made it) views the people in the story.
Its interesting to see how you've set the story up. You didn't give us details on everything that happened before Future-Harry went back and merged with Present-Harry. Instead you told us that everyone died, the world was destroyed and FHarry wanted to died, preferably right away. Instead he goes and tries to save the world again, only better but he has all these horrible dreams of things that happened to those he loved and fought. If there's one thing that can be said about your Harry its that he's not a coward. I loved the problem with Harry worrying about his friends because he manipulated his friends in the way he hated about Dumbledore. And it all turned to not when his friends rallied around him and proved to him just why he loved Hermione, Ginny and Ron so much and why he'd become such good friends with Neville and Luna.
And speak of: I love your Neville and Luna. The way Harry helped bring out the Neville we all saw when he got in that fight with Malfoy and his minons in that Qudditch game, and when he stood up to Harry, Hermione, and Ron in their first year, then again several times between there and their fifth. Luna on the otherhand, well she's not very well developed in the books, is she? I mean anyone who's willing to risk their live for you means they have to like a person and finding out that Harry in the books didn't do anything to help her when he found out that she was being bullied about makes me sick but the fact the he ignored her in his sixth year isn't...well it just rubs against the grain so I'm glad you've made her a real person, abet an...odd person, and that you've had him make friends with her.
The way Harry helped his friends become better people is great. I think that anyone who can help their friends be better people becomes a better person themselves and I'm glad that none of them had any real problems with it.
I also like Hermione. I don't have a problem with her in the book like most people but she does annoy me at times. Her obsession with the fact that all teachers had all their students best interests at heart annoyed me when nearly one of their Defense teachers had tried to kill them. I'm glad she doesn't have an obsession with the fact that books contain all information and all of it is completely factual. But she's still the Hermione that most of us love.
Ron on the other hand is nearly completely different and completely the same. The fact that Harry's more open with this Ron makes it so there aren't as many problems and Ron is more likely to believe him.
I really like and hate how you've made some many similarities between now and the other now (I can heard you now: speak up you almost made sense there, lol). The Stone, the Diary, the Polyjuice, Lucius Malfoy being a baster...wait that doesn't have anything to do with Harry, never mind ignore that last bit. ^^ So neither Harry nor we know if he can actually change the future for the better but we can have all the hope in the world.
The mysterious character you've created is giving me major, major problems. I can't decided if (s)he's evil and a Death Eatter, a good Slytherin, or someone who has no idea what's going on and will be a minor character later on or not. But I'm nearly positive that (s)he had something to do with Cho Chang being hurt so badly.
There is one thing I'm really thankful for. The fact that you've never, to the best of my knowledge anyways, referred to Defense Against the Dark Arts as the DADA. Never in the books is it referred to as such and I'm glad to see there are at least some people who use the books as references. LoL.
Now that I've gotten all that out of the way LoL.
I love the way you put the plot together. You've kept enough of the Original Plot to allow us to keep J.K. Rowling's books in mind but you've changed enough of it that we never have to worry about seeing things happen exactly as they did in the books. I hate it when people just cope and paste whole chapters from the books and call it original.
There is a question I'm dying to know the answer to but I know you probably won't tell me: Are Charlie and Bill going to help them later on, will Harry tell them his Grand Story, and is Percy going to go all Percy the Great Prat on us? Will he figure out why Harry asked him if he'd ever betray the Weasleys or is that going to be forgotten? Will we ever get a change to Percy POV? I hope that knowing the Ministry is as corrupt as it was Percy's will to...well change.
Honestly I've got to tell you this is one of the best stories I've ever read and I've never read or even thought I would ever want to read a time-travel fic so I was wary going in.
In closing (I sound like I just wrote a report for school...) I want to say that you've kept me entertained for about two and half days. I really, really hope you give us all a good ending, like maybe keep all of Harry's friends alive and well throughout the war (you've really made us know them too much and I think I'd be heartbroken if you killed one of them but I've always hated death in stories and had to stop reading one because just as the Author made us like an unlikable character she killed them off...I think every two chapters someone knew died....) and that you don't make Molly bury any of her children. I really don't think she could live though that, I don't think she should have to.
I hope you update again soon but I understand that Real Life takes the top even if we'd all rather it not. ^^
BT posted a comment on Monday 29th January 2007 1:41pm
Oh, please, please update soon! I will love you forever.
jlencre posted a comment on Thursday 25th January 2007 10:38am
Wow! I love how bold Harry is in this story. I know he's making decisions based on information from his future, but I wish that JKR had made her Harry less whiney and a bit more kick-arse like yours. I'm really loving the twists and turns you're taking with the plot. I hope to see an update whenever your muse inspires you!
Best wishes,
~Juli
oldman posted a comment on Wednesday 24th January 2007 11:15am
I can't remember if I've commented already but yes I like this chapter especially the way you pave the way into future plot lines. Your description of the demise of dementers is brilliant, the run up to the final scene is gripping. Please don't abandon the story, it's too good.
bimalc posted a comment on Sunday 21st January 2007 6:12pm
Not to be pedantic, and at the risk of embarrassing myself as IANAL (though my academic background includes the study of Health Law), your beta is only partially right with respect to 17 USC and disclaimers.
Specifically, there is no general requirement for a disclaimer in the USC regardless of profit motive. 17 USC 107 governs so-called fair use. Attribution (which is what a disclaimer amounts to) does not directly factor into a finding of fair use. Rather, the important points of law are the extent to which your work infringes on an existing copyright and the reasons for your infringement.
Disclaimers are only useful insofar as they persuade copy right holders to like you and not take legal action against you or insofar as they ingratiate you to the judge hearing your case so he might be more sympathetic to you.
The unfortunate truth is that if JK (or more realistically one of the media companies she is associated with) wished to take down this work, there is very little legal defense available to you, disclaimer or no.
17 USC 106 clearly establishes copyright to include derivative works, which fanfic clearly is. The exceptions in 17 USC 107 only grant special privilege to non-profit work when such work is educational.
Sorry, but disclaimer or no, you're in the same position and 17 USC 107 doesn't offer you much protection either way.
Rob Clark posted a comment on Wednesday 17th January 2007 7:46am
Wow! Just got to say this is an awesome story. You've done a great job with all of the characters, and the time travel plot.
Rob
delenn posted a comment on Monday 15th January 2007 4:38pm
Viridian, I've just started reading this -- I love it. The setup is indeed grim, but after that I began to feel the same sense of wonder that I got reading Fate's Debt and Meaning of One. I should add that based on the first couple of chapters I think this will be better than those stories. Harry thinks like an adult and is actively trying to maintain the time line as part of the narrative, which I think changes the way we readers perceive who is doing the necessary manipulation (Harry the character rather than you the author). Plus I suspect you won't need to resort to "special" plot devices beyond the initial time travel trick. Really looking forward to the rest of it. Lee
Mynaorah posted a comment on Sunday 14th January 2007 8:01am
Another excellent chapter; I'm eagerly awaiting the next one but can only say that I know too well how real life can bog you down and take up your time. Nevertheless, I'm putting "write more" vibes out into the air; this story is one I am constantly checking for updates and have already re-read twice. Keep up the great work.
Tobang posted a comment on Saturday 13th January 2007 4:05pm
Ok I hate to be mean about all this but I feel that if I don’t put sharp edges on my comments they won’t be noticed…
Angst is not a bad thing in moderation but you are starting to get freaking annoying with all the angst in this story. I get that Harry has nightmares….stop describing them, I get that Harry is ashamed of the fact that he’s manipulating his friends….stop mention it and I get that that Harry was in love with his old Ginny but this Ginny is different and she might not love him…please stop bringing it up. This story was fantastic up until about ‘A summer seen through warm brown eyes’ then all the angst just started to get fucking annoying and repetitive (I stopped to write this after the next chapter).
A specific example would be near the end of "A visit from the eldest’ when remus came to visit for the first time…
"Remus stopped talking when Harry spoke, his mouth hanging slightly open. It was a disquieting sight for Harry. It reminded him uncomfortably of the way Remus’ face had gone slack after Macnair stabbed the werewolf with a silver dagger. It took nearly a day for him to finally succumb to the silver poisoning. In the end, the best Harry or the remaining Order members could do was ease his pain. Harry sat with him until the end as the last of the Marauders occupied his final hours telling his best friend’s son stories of their Hogwarts years. Harry didn’t know if he was doing it more to dull the pain or in the hope that some of their history would outlive his end. Harry didn’t really think it mattered. Tonks barely made it back before he passed. She kissed him goodbye and he quietly breathed his last. Harry held her as she cried on his shoulder like a broken-hearted child."
I’m not sure if you realize you do this or not, but for every character you introduce you describe their depressing death scene (several times in some cases)…I get it, the war was a disaster and everyone died horrible deaths. You shouldn’t try to keep the story focused on that fact though. There are more tactful ways of saying how they died…like when Harry finally fesses up he’s from the future, then he can prattle on about how each character died a horrible death and it will be one hell of an angsty chapter but it would all be in one chapter so it wouldn’t seem like the entire story is a teenaged angst fest. As is I have a feeling you are going to have a chapter like that anyway and all this previous angst is completely and utterly unnecessary.
Move The Story Along At A Faster Pace.
This story brings to mind the whole "two steps forward one step backwards" metaphor for me. It seems like you feel that for every new plot advancement you do you must restate all of Harry’s old wounds and doubts. You don’t.
I really do like the plot of this story; it’s good, original and has depth. Same with the characters; they have depth, are believable and are interesting to read about. It’s the balancing between these two good things you need to work on. Right now (at the end of chapter ‘A visit from the Eldest’) you need a lot more plot advancement and a lot less character depth.
Think of it this way, why should I care about all the intricate details of your characters if they aren’t doing anything interesting. Balance the fleshing out of your characters with the advancement of your plot and the story will become a lot more bearable for me to read.
A few more things… cool off the love between Harry and Ginny…remember Eleven Years Old and Harry’s already been back for over a year; you would think he would start to get a little desensitized to seeing old faces. I do like this story, it just starting to annoy the hell out of me.
~Tobang
P.S. One more thing…if you mention that one of the main reasons Harry’s friends with Ginny is because she helped him through the barrier at kings cross one more time I’m seriously going to snap.
BackInBlack posted a comment on Wednesday 10th January 2007 5:50pm
I dearly love this story. You've done an excellent job weaving the canon story into this new time line. The plot twists keep it interesting, unlike some 'canon re-hash' stories that I've read.
I picked up the link for this story on a fic rec page, and I'm glad I decided to check it out. Keep up the great work :)
Brandon West posted a comment on Saturday 3rd March 2007 3:56am