By Viridian
Reviews
Quizer posted a comment on Friday 24th August 2007 10:40pm
Great chapter! You still have what it takes, obviously...
Loved the scene with Neville and his Grandmother. Neville stated his position with a bluntness that even gave his Grandmother pause, and it appears for now that she has seen the light... Also good to see Harry watching over his friends from the shadows. Might not be entirely healthy, but it sure cuts down on the probability of anyone being caught alone and unawares by a surprise attack...
Too bad Melissa died... I liked her. Guess this means the kid gloves are coming off... on both sides. I'd surprised if Harry doesn't take this as a personal offence and acts accordingly. I also wonder whether Millicent will accept Harry's offer of support.
Like the plan to upgrade the Hogwarts wards... But what is that favor Goldfarb asked for, I wonder...?
Well, I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Hopefully Harry will start *ferreting* out the murderer.
until next chapter!
Quizer
fryman posted a comment on Friday 24th August 2007 6:18am
I may rescind my obvious plot foreshadowing comment from the prior chapter. An amusing question arises here, but I'm uncertain if it's one you've considered.
Just how does old V man talk to the Dementors to get him on their side? Are they capable of speech? Are they capable of mental projection of thoughts?
While it still seems blindingly obvious that Hermione's little "note taking" exercise is going to be recovered, a fun bunny presents itself in this chapter. As the Dementors interact with Harry, and "see" his visions of the past, will they talk to each other, and assemble the full set of visions? Will they relay them to the V man when he drafts them back to his side? I find the plausibility of this far less than the one of Hermione's notes disappearing, but there the bunny is. Now how to find out whether you planned such a bunny...
harrysfriend posted a comment on Friday 24th August 2007 4:50am
I love this story. I am tempted to ask you to hurry with new updates but I fear that will negatively affect the quality of the story. So take all the time you need.
MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Thursday 23rd August 2007 11:46pm
Fantastic as always to see this updated. I love the way poor Neville stands up to his Gran. I think you're the first person to recognise how violent the Longbottom family is towards him. I can't quite believe you killed her and so casually! I think poor Harry will feel more than somewhat tortured over this, though it's good to see him find some source of comfort by going to Millicent. Excellent chapter, as always, more please.
Le1hargy posted a comment on Thursday 23rd August 2007 7:00pm
Fantastic. Inventively canon-compliant, thought-provoking, and, at times, worthy of the Rowling Seal of Excellence.
I also understand the temptation to accelerate the romantic relationships (with respect to their ages) and I commend you on your restraint. I have, several times, caught myself mentally shouting "Just KISS her!" before realizing that they are barely teens.
I've always felt like JKR has overstated and overplayed Harry's out-of-control temper, probably because she was never a testosterone-pumped and hormone-enraged teenage boy, and made assumptions about how one of those... creatures would react. I, on the other hand, have intimate knowledge of that mental state, (I spent (am spending) considerable time as one) and can decisively say that normal humans do not launch themselves at their boyhood rivals with only the slightest provocation, despite their terrible tempers. You toned Harry down considerably, possibly because you felt the same way, as well as the fact that an older and more time-tempered Harry would react differently.
But in this third installment especially, Harry-the-boy seems to often overtake Harry-the-man and express his emotions with violent lack of control, which I find to deliciously canonical and compelling, and done in excellent taste.
I like the fact that you have Harry react to each change in history as though it were his fault (which it kinda is). Very interesting and thought-provoking.
Btw, whatever your number-crunching job entails, it can't be important enough to distract you from your glorious creation.
Now get to writing, goddamit!
fryman posted a comment on Thursday 23rd August 2007 4:15pm
While I've been enjoying the story, I have a fundamental objection to one event in this chapter. Harry's been living under the Constant Vigilance motto for some time now, and has admitted to himself -- a few chapters earlier, no less -- that he could never write anything down where someone might find it.
In this chapter, not only does he watch Hermione do exactly that, but he watches her do it to such an exacting level of detail that he never would have done it that way himself had he written it down.
While it's an obvious bit of foreshadowing events to come (his thoughts and then letting her do this) -- that is, foreshadowing when the other side "discovers" Hermione's written notes (Thanks, Gov!) -- it's very hard to accept Harry as letting that happen. Any momentary euphoria from the revelation and apparent acceptance could overlook the beginning of such a written document, but the level of detail he conveyed and she annotated would have rapidly eroded such back into his paranoid normal behavior.
Even though Past/Future Harry makes mistakes, as shown in the duel, I have a hard time accepting that situation. It's a direct violation against his 20-odd years of living before that moment. So, I cry foul, as this event amounts to a Red Shirt moment.
Beyond that, it's been a fun story so far. Thanks for writing it.
Viridian replied:
Always nice to hear from a fellow Yellowjacket!
Actually, after she got everything written down and organized in her own mind, she memorized her outline and burned it. In a later chapter Ginny discusses some of the... more esoteric means the witches have of preserving information.
Hermione's list of questions was more to make sure she asked everything that had occured to her, and didn't forget anything. Of course, writing it in shorthand, Klingon, or Tolkein's Elvish would have made it problematic for your average wizard to decipher...
millie johanson posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 3:46pm
please help me I have always been able to get to your site but tonight I have trouble.
>
>I love your story..............I have just reread it this week I am having trouble getting to your site now please help..
when you sent me the up date there was no direct web page to get to the story.
I have recived two pass words and the site still wont let me in please Help!!!!!!!
Thank You .........Miss Millie
Kordolin posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd August 2007 12:39pm
Great chapter! Keep up the good work and update soon!
-kordolin
Ivy_Snowe posted a comment on Tuesday 21st August 2007 11:04am
Wow. Alot of that was completely unexpected. It was great, but I didn't see it coming.
~Ivy
Eric Oppen posted a comment on Tuesday 21st August 2007 6:02am
Question:
When DD is teaching the DADA class, shouldn't it be the Gryffindor Four , not Six? Ginny and Luna are a year behind Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville.
Or are all the years in there together?
DrT posted a comment on Monday 20th August 2007 5:03am
Well, before DH, I'd say it was the Slytherin custom to ignore breakdowns, now I'd have to say they're all cold-hearted bastards who will use the breakdown for their own advantages.
"T"
Asad posted a comment on Monday 20th August 2007 1:18am
Nice chapter Matthew. You have still got me hooked !
The debt has a lot of possibilities and leaves me curious as to which of those possibilities you will use.
Keep up the good wok!
Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Sunday 19th August 2007 11:06pm
Wow, this was an impressive part here, and the death of Melissa hit me hard. For her character, I found myself liking her a lot. I look forward to the next encounter with the Demetors, as welllas what game Albus will continue to play with Harry and Co. The confrontation with Nev and his Gran was well done and warm, and he could have been a lot harsher, but wasn't, and good for him to tak a fairly high road.
Bobboky posted a comment on Sunday 19th August 2007 10:21pm
excellent, very much excellent
scott2 posted a comment on Sunday 19th August 2007 9:16pm
So addictive I reread the whole thing!
Jim_xinu posted a comment on Sunday 19th August 2007 5:13pm
I think that I may have missed reading the previous chapter--I don't remember Neville's Howler. Good to see Nev standing up.
Pity about poor Melissa. Non-evil Slytherins are hard to come by.
The timing of what happened and how well and quickly it was all covered up looks extremely suspicious.
One murder attempt as an act of opportunity during the Dementor distraction is somewhat believable.
But two, plus the danger of the Dementors themselves? That meets the classic criteria of 'three times is enemy action', I should think. I'd expect somebody (Ron?) to at least suspect it all being set up as a unit.
Or is evidence really easy to cover up in the wizarding world where everybody can just 'vanish' rubbish?
The scene with Millicent was nice. Harry risked revealing more than he wants to, but his own outrage and sense of honor forced him to.
It seems that the Ministry is maybe skipping the propaganda war against Harry this time and going straight to 'accidents'? Or has the Ministry counter-claims and statements just not being shown to us? Is our friend Delores already in charge of Dementors?
Good chapter, thanks for sharing it with us.
Eric Oppen posted a comment on Sunday 19th August 2007 10:05am
Great chapter! I loved how Neville finally stood up to that grandmother of his---making it very clear that while he loved and honored her, she had made mistakes, and he was growing up. Personally, I hope that Augusta went home and tore a bunch of big strips off of Great-Uncle Algie for the way he'd treated Neville. If Neville's parents recover their sanity in this AU, and find out about that, Great-Uncle Algie's going to be the answer to the question: "What's red, dripping off the ceiling and walls, and splattered all over the floor?"
Too bad about Melissa Bulstrode! I'd kind of like to see some of the Slytherins starting to have Serious Second Thoughts about this whole "let's-get-Harry-Potter" deal. I wouldn't be surprised to find that it was that little tosser Draco, under an Invisibility Cloak; I'm sure that Dumbledore had his Legilimency on high while questioning the Slytherins, and they can't all have natural Occlumency.
Keep 'em coming!
MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Sunday 19th August 2007 9:23am
Wow great chapter. Long time no read. I'm glad your still writing, as this is a great story.
Its also refreshing to read an author who is at least "attempting" to incorporate DH into there atory. So many just ignore it or proclaim utter hatred for it.
I think the way you do it is clever and well thought out.
The scenes with Augusta Longbottom were superb. I also liked the super patroni. I like how certain events still want to happen, such as Harry falling off the broom and losing the Nimbus. A good excuse to get the firebolt I might add. Hehe! Destiny and fate and all that.
Thanks for writing.
Monkey
rune1806 posted a comment on Sunday 19th August 2007 8:49am
a good read as always, but who won the match? was it called or will it be replayed? enjoyed neville and his gran but why did harry feel the need to be there? the great thing about this form is you can as the writer questions to find out what they are thinking and make reading the story even better. keep up the great work .
atlantis-rob posted a comment on Saturday 25th August 2007 12:14am