Prince Charon posted a comment on Friday 28th April 2006 1:16pm

Very interesting.

Please don't leave us hanging over this cliff for to long.

hga posted a comment on Friday 28th April 2006 12:14pm

This chapter is very good, and I enjoyed the excellent Arthur retrospective.

I like how you're moving the story along at a nice clip, although I wonder if the focus on plot is harming character interaction a bit:

This [Ginny] was becoming his closest friend.

You tell us this, and you've shown it to us in previous chapters, but in this chapter I don't think you have the two of them exchanging a single word; in fact I think she has only one line of dialogue where they are discussing Snape. It just seems to me that their relationship has drastically changed, beyond the level Harry is fearing....

And a note for the third year: didn't it take the expose of the whole Chamber of Secrets disaster to clear Hagrid so that he could become a professor? Without something happening, Harry and co. won't be able to study under him next year---and Harry wouldn't be planning on that, he'd be planning on getting Hagrid cleared (although his plate is very full, and this is highly optional).

Of course, as others have noted, maybe Fate (which you've explicitly given some sort of power to) has conspired to repeat the CoS, solving both these problems.

Anyway, we waited a month for this, and it was worth it. Please keep up the good work.

luisalexandre posted a comment on Friday 28th April 2006 11:18am

It feels a bit stupid to consecutively say your story his great ( 26 times already) but i really have nothing to criticize. It's an ambious, well written, well thought story, the characters are themselves, and even better, are not plane, evolving in a logical manner. And now the story is reaching on of it's high point's, which is great.
And by the way, that's no cliffie, that's a canyon, or something.

Lincoln posted a comment on Friday 28th April 2006 11:11am

Hmm. I knew there was a reason i hated cliffhanging! O no! what will happen? will he still be able to hold his own against the appalling potions professor? I think he should- after all, he has the experience to take on Voldemort in his previous life.

I also like the way he's starting to warm up to Ginny- I hope she's as warm, understanding and supportive this time around- i have a feeling she will be..

Nice writing on the other characters as well, it was a good thing to see things from Mr Weasley's perspective as well - will we see an outtake on the conversation he had with Mrs Weasley revealing Sirius to her?

Once again, Many thanks for your writing, and keep it up!

I remain,

Lincoln

Regress posted a comment on Friday 28th April 2006 8:37am

OOOOOOHhhhh, bloody cliff-hangers.

*sigh* I'll just have to wait, won't I? Meh, it's worth the wait. Great job on the chapter as usual, I'm getting pretty interested to see what's going on with Ginny that's keeping her so distracted and quiet, could she be getting suspicious of Harry? I doubt it, but it will be an interesting conversation when Harry can finally come clean completely with her.

Anyway, keep up the good work and don't worry about rushing yourself. We (the readers) should know how life can get, so I certainly don't mind a longer wait if you don't have as much time/inspiration to write.

thedjinn posted a comment on Friday 28th April 2006 7:33am

Uh oh... unfortunately, this chapter is just as brilliant as your other ones, DANG IT. Well, it looks like it's about time to read over the previous chapter again. I think I've read the entire story (thus far) a few times - get something new each time.

Well, as usual, your story is the most anticipated of any WIPs I am currently reading (of about 40 or so, I think at last count).

I don't have any negative comments - I should after the initial euphoria passes.

-J

Quizer posted a comment on Friday 28th April 2006 6:51am

Time for my second reading & review, the first being the one where I describe my 'first impressions' and forget to praise the good stuff while bitching about the stuff that irks me or wonder about things I don't understand.

I like those insightful passages from the perspective of other people, in this case Arthur Weasley. When I recently re-read the whole story, the passages from Molly's and Hermione's point of view also stood out positively once more. Were you an author of lesser calibre, I suspect those passages might be dull and repetitive and subtract from the story rather than add to it, but you get most out of them. Good job, and keep using them!

I especially like them because they let us see clearly the effects Merged!Harry has on the timeline. Which brings me to my next point. What I really like about your story is that it is not locked into a repetition of canon. If something happens the same way in your story as it did in the original timeline, there's usually solid reasoning for that. I sincerely hope it stays that way; I don't like stories whose authors go to ridiculous lengths to preserve the canon timeline and events in their AU/timetravel story. I really liked that bit with the stormy Quidditch match instead of the fair weather it (supposedly) had in the original timeline. It goes to show that the tiniest random factors can totally change things. That said, I don't mind (much) if the chamber does get opened in the coming chapters, as long as you provide solid reasoning (I would prefer a new, innovational chain of events, though. And please don't make Harry suffer!)

I wonder though. One person on the Yahoo Group said that perhaps the diary got switched (perhaps during the train incident?)... Ginny's behavior seems highly suspicious to me as well. I really hope it is not a controlled Ginny or something similiarly bad that stunned him at the end of the chapter. My preferred 'captor' would be Lockhart, trying to save his career. That would promise to be fun, but I can't really picture Lockhart pulling the sneakiness and the stunner.

I also hope Harry stops/gets over his self-doubting routine soon. I don't like reading Self-doubting!Harry at all, and even though it makes sense, is well done, and the very nature of those doubts is repetitive, I find it irks me. I really hope you handle the 'reassurances' his friends are going to give him well. I see a lot of pitfalls ahead in that area.

The Cho & Cedric thing was a very nice touch which I really enjoyed.
The usage of Rita to get rid of Lockhart is great, too. I remember the passage where Harry thought: "That's it, you negligent bastard, you definitely have to go. Sooner rather than later." I was starting wondering why he didn't appear to follow up on it.
I'm also looking forward to that interview. Rita is probably sharp enough to notice something is off with Harry. It shall be interesting to see how Harry deals with that.

"He wouldn’t let things progress until she knew the whole truth." I can see this sentence spelling trouble. If Ginny misinterpreted Harry's sigh when he saw Cho and Cedric, I can actually see her having jealousy and inferiority issues. Hope that doesn't grow into a problem. Bring on that revelation talk we've all been waiting for soon, will ya?!

"But excessive self-interest was a lot easier for Harry to deal with than outright malevolence."
Considering Harry's loathing for Lockhart, this sentence doesn't really ring true. I'd say the opposite makes far more sense in that case, even though Lockhart's self-interest and delusion is so far off the scale it isn't even funny.

Liked the Quidditch match. The comments about the snitch 'trying to warm up' make me wonder: Does it have a 'sentient AI' or did it fly into the broom by accident?

I have to agree with what another person said about the stunner: I thought that a stunner makes people unconscious. I can accept that it takes a fraction of a second for the spell to shut down the brain, in which time one would be unable to move but still aware of what happened, but the description of it at the end is still strange.

Snape is behaving very strangely as well. Somehow I doubt it is him who organized Harry's 'accident' shortly after the detention. Still, there's so many things that are left unanswered. Hurry up and write more, okay?


Quizer

Sideline posted a comment on Friday 28th April 2006 6:32am

My thoughts on this chapter in general are the same as always: I loved it, you rule, and I hate your job/commute.

More specifically McGonagall, Skeeter, and Slughorn were all perfectly in character. Harry musing about his age puts to rest most, if not all, of the concerns about his current and potential relationships. The whole occlumency situation coming to a head has me furiously speculating on how you will play it.

The cliffhanger was the right move plot wise. If this were a novel I was reading at three am on a Monday night I would stay up to read the next chapter. That has always been my test and you are one of the few authors (the lack of the term fanfiction was intentional) that pass it.

Thank you for a nice bit of relaxation in a stressful day!

Quizer posted a comment on Friday 28th April 2006 4:45am

Bah, evil cliffhanger. I knew that it would amount to something like that. Wonder who the 'familiar' voice was.

Ginny's behavior makes me wonder if Lucius churned out another Horcrux that has a similiar effect as the Diary. I kinda doubt she is jealous of Cho, she ought to have seen her with Cedric as well.

Looks like Harry underestimated the changes he wrought once again, like with Vernon Dursley. After the 'excessive' caution Harry has displayed throughout this fic, I find it kind of hard to understand how he let himself be caught off-guard here though. Snape's behavior alone should have made him suspicious (regardless whether it actually WAS Snape who attacked him).

You better be careful writing the next chapter! I don't like reading Helpless!Harry. Hopefully he will still have a few tricks up his sleeve that will get him back in control ASAP.


Quizer

Sonicdale posted a comment on Friday 28th April 2006 4:14am

Yowch.
A cliffie.
Liked the DA and the details there. The interaction with Cho was interesting as well.

Can't wait for the "Ginny Talk."
It's coming, I can tell, Harry just has to get past the current attack. :)

The Quidditch was interesting. You've bumped up the comradierie (sp?) a bit, that was a nice touch.

Good work. Looking forward to the next installment.

Sssith posted a comment on Friday 28th April 2006 2:48am

Good stuff as always.

Hmm...something is up with Ginny...will the chamber be opened afterall?

AK posted a comment on Friday 28th April 2006 2:32am

Well I don't really have anything to say, so I'm just reviewing to say that I read this chpater too :)

BJH posted a comment on Friday 28th April 2006 2:00am

Ewww, nice cliffhanger. Is it Draco looking for a little revenge? Or did Snape contrive to get Harry by himself so he can dose him with Veritaserum? That could have bad consequences.

Or could it even be DD and Snape contriving together? That could explain why the detention was so mild.

Shawn Cullipher posted a comment on Friday 28th April 2006 1:34am

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I've been drooling worse than my teething son while waiting for you to post a new chapter.

There's a lot of good things in this chapter, from Arthur's ruminations about his family to Harry's machinations with Rita and Horace. Good stuff! I especially enjoyed Harry's conversation with Minnie, I think your version of her is my favorite from any story I've ever read. She's definitely more of an aunt/grandmother figure for Harry than Dumbledore could ever be, with his manipulations.

I am concerned about Ginny. I'm hoping she's realizing her feelings about Harry and expressing concern over the secrets he's keeping, but we'll know for sure in a chapter or two I imaagine.

Again, thank you so much for posting another chapter to my current favorite fic. Here's hoping your muse keeps flowing and your writing time is fruitful.

Carolyn1 posted a comment on Thursday 27th April 2006 10:48pm

Thanx for the update.

Cu posted a comment on Thursday 27th April 2006 9:45pm

Good chapter. Little plot developments, some more insight in Arthur's and Harry's thinking, a pinch of romance and a mean cliffy for dessert. Satisfying.

XanDutch posted a comment on Thursday 27th April 2006 9:17pm

You are evil. Very evil. I was so happy to see a new chapter, and then you end it with such an evil cliffhanger? *cries*

All in all, yet another fabulous chapter that I really enjoyed. I think I'll place my money on Lockhart, trying to salvage his reputation.

Bernd Jacobitz posted a comment on Thursday 27th April 2006 7:19pm

Well crafted chapter. Very good character work in this one.
BUT, I do hope we do not have to wait very long for the update as it would be beyound cruel, taking in account the cliffy.

viranne posted a comment on Thursday 27th April 2006 6:18pm

Great chapter, but oooooh what a cliffhanger. I want to know who stunned Harry. I want Harry to talk to Ginny. Maybe it was Ginny stunning Harry in order to talk to him?

phsname posted a comment on Thursday 27th April 2006 6:04pm

ive been reading this bit by bit mostly at my school library, so i havent had a chance to review...

anyway, i think this story is actually...very good...lol. the idea behind it is very interesting. it's fun reading everything from the books all over again, but with everything else we know from canon being applied to change/fix things...haha.

however...one thing that took some getting used to for me was the addition of Neville in the "core group" so to speak. at first, it was nice that Harry was helping him out, but then after a while, i got bothered by it because it sort of ruined the whole idea of the "Trio" between Harry, Ron and Hermione...

but oh well.

time to continue reading...:D