Mesterio posted a comment on Wednesday 6th August 2008 12:55pm

I am seriously impressed with this entire fic. The way Naruto has grows shows a lot about how much thought was put into writing this.

Hinata is her own person, generaly separate from cannon. I really liked how you took her weak-mindedness in and turned it into such a personal fear in this fic. I can see how you may be bringing determination to her through Naruto and having real friends become her main strength of will.

plus you have a great sense of humor.

perspicacity posted a comment on Wednesday 6th August 2008 11:43am

A very nice chapter, perhaps one of the best in the story. I've only read a few Naruto fics, but this one is by far the best I've encountered.

You can't go wrong with a father who introduces you to Heinlein. Mine had me reading Ian Fleming well before I was old enough to understand just what Bond was doing with the ladies he encountered.

basicblack posted a comment on Thursday 24th July 2008 5:40pm

OMFG!!!!!

*gasp* they're both losing their arms!?!

ah, well, at least Haku managed to save the old man :)

Robert71 posted a comment on Sunday 20th July 2008 9:43am

ive read all of these and i like em up to a certain extent... i have little problems like how you took away naruto's protganist nature and his little quirkiness... i liked how he saw the good in people even if they were bad... i hope you write that in because that gives him his nindo to make his own path and his own destiny... i was also wondering if you are gonna be writing in jiraiya and gamabunta at all for his summoning contract... or at least jiraiya to be his teacher since that is a key role in revealing not only who his father is but one of his closest bonds... personally i think you should write in sasuke a bit and have them become friends or something (just a personal suggestion but i think you have your thing pretty much mapped out)... personally i dont like how he is more violent and i know you probably get that alot but isnt it like naruto to not deliver a final blow that will really hurt someone?(talkin about the fight with neji) though i love how oyu put a new twist on haku and the orochimaru hokage fight... please dont take the thirds arm thats how they could find tsunade! to revive his arm! wellhere is my add7 rob71787@sbcglobal.net i know these arent really questions but if you could answer me back about why you chose to do these things maybe i could get a better understanding about your chices to do this.... keep up the good work though!!!

Viridian replied:

Consider that Naruto didn’t kill Gaara when most people say he should have. And Neji isn’t dead.

 

 

Re-read the chapter. Naruto did train with Jiraiya — that’s how he learned Swamp of the Underworld. He went for Jutsu that would work better with his recon team role… not to mention being pretty effective against the enemies detailed in Kurenai’s dossiers.

 

 

Naruto’s friendship with Sasuke barely made sense when they were on the same team in canon. WHY should he care what the stuck up Uchiha thinks in Team 8? It’s less a matter of looking at outcomes some people may desire and more a matter of not making the characters do bizarrely out of character things.

 

James13 posted a comment on Saturday 19th July 2008 4:58am

Well Done!!

The multiple scene battle views were very well done, better then some "professional" efforts I've read over the years.

I was espcially pleased by the Haku/Hokage/Orochimaru fight. It seemed very believeable, using Haku's strengths to offset the Hokage's age against a much stronger foe. It also somewhat reminded me of a Subzero vs blah fight in Mortal Kombat. All it needed was some nice techno music and it would have been perfect. :P

wolfey posted a comment on Friday 18th July 2008 5:40pm

hey love this story. One of the better stories out there where Naruto isnt a whiny little bitch and punching bag of team seven. I hate how naruto is in canon and I hate the creator for making his such an idiot. so good job making him normal.

JohnMc posted a comment on Wednesday 9th July 2008 2:30pm

First of all, awesome, as always. By the way, that "We are legion" thing was a bible reference, right? If you could, I'd appreciate it if you could e-mail me the answer to that question. In any case, keep up the good work and be quick with that next chapter please. I'm already eagerly awaiting it.

Ensyia posted a comment on Wednesday 9th July 2008 2:48am

I found this chapter to be very appealing ^^ It seems one way or another, Gaara's seen some form of reason in this battle. And WOO, Sandaime LIVES ^^

Gena posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 7:20pm

this is really good i like it alot. i was hoping you update soon. Wish you add more. wonder what you will add next oh if you haven't read all the up to date naruto manga here is a site you can read it all. its really good. http://manga.bleachexile.com/naruto.html
and i think it be cool since naruto has become alot better he doesnt have to have a clone help him with the rasengun i think thats how you spell it.Anyway great chap. hope you update soon. Maybe some nightmare of future past. was thinking what type of story you make with a Naruto and Harry Potter Cross over

Katsuhito posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 11:57am

As usual, a great chapter. Your worries about interleaving multiple action scenes are hereby declared without merit. :) I look forward to more.

Rin Umiko posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 8:48am

This was really very fun. I'm finding that I enjoy this story a great deal when Kurenai isn't in it.

Entilzah posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 2:05am

Wow! All the well thought out and tactically sound action that I have come to expect from Team 8. All the promise I saw at the end of the previous chapter is fulfilled here. It is a refresing to see the teamwork that Team 8 was originally based around to create come to fruition. And even better, it is so enjoyable to see a fight scene in fan fiction that is something beyond "I epeen you to death!"

This story continues to enthrall me. Keep up the excellent work.

Mayjest posted a comment on Saturday 5th July 2008 11:49pm

That was absolutely bloody awesome.

I'm sure I'll say more on the forums, but that's all that needs to be said here.

Manatheron posted a comment on Saturday 5th July 2008 7:06pm

extraordinary chapter, it's always interesting to find out what your going to do next. I can honestly say that I never would have considered what would have happened if Haku had been involved in the fight between orochimaru and Saratobi. But I have to admit, you did a damn fine job of extrapolating. Well done, Well done indeed.

nuclear death frog posted a comment on Saturday 5th July 2008 11:33am

This chapter is just F'ing [b]incredible[/b]. I can't even conceive of it being better in any way, except one. That would be to make it longer and still sustain the pacing. But that would decrease the amount of future chapters.

ShadeHawk posted a comment on Saturday 5th July 2008 10:04am

Sorry about earlier post with runaway italic... If only this site had Preview button for reviews, or option to edit one's review. Or, what would be best, automatically closing all open tags, to not screw up other posts.

Trying to have only one review with wrong formatting

ShadeHawk posted a comment on Saturday 5th July 2008 9:59am

Yet another wonderful chapter! I wonder if after three action-packed consecutive chapter there will be place for some character development chapter.

I really like the forceful Hinata, and liked appereance of Haku.

(a bit of rambling ahead)


A bit of speculation with respect to differences between this A.U. fanfic and original "Naruto" (disclaimer: I have watched only a few episodes, read wikipedia article with short description of episodes, and read quite a bit Naruto fanfics): I wonder what would be the long-time consequences of differences between original Naruto's "peep talk" to Gaara, which if I understand correctly was

I'm strong because I fight for my precious people

and current (paraphrasing a bit)

You say that your life has no meaning? Your siblings care for you, baka!

Orohimaru have lost one arm, and not usage of both arms, but I guess (but I might be mistaken) that Sarutobi lives. A bit of tradeoff...

Hmmm... was the poison/venom/toxin used by Orohimaru neurotoxin (fast, deadly) or necrotic (slower, but does damage even if neutralized), or perhaps it is hemotoxin (slower). From the fact that Sarutobi didn't drop dead instantly... well, this is fiction, so I really cannot say.

BTW. the frozen limb and destroing "flash frozen" arm by Orohimaru reminded me of scene in the movie "Johny Mnemonic"...

s
p
o
i
l
e
r

I wonder what would happen to "searching for Tsunade" arc. Sarutobi lives, but can one armed, probably weakened by poison, and feeling his years be a good Kage? Perhaps it would be better to have replacement at hand, even if Sarutobi is not to resign his position at once. I wonder what would happen with Orochimaru part of arc; in original plot Orihimaru and Kabuto (what happened to him, has anyone discovered that he was a traitor, and IIRC cast interrupted sleep genjutsu?) searched for Tsunade to "unseal" his arms. In "Team 8" Orohimaru has one arm left, so he can do at least some of jutsus (there is fair amount which can be done using one hand seals only), but I don't think even Tsunade can regenerate completely missing arm...

I wonder if Kakashi has taught Sasuke his assasination jutsu, Chidori (Teaching Genin{/italic] an assassination jutsu could be explained (I think) by the fact that Sasuke had to fight with Gaara.) And if Jurayia would teach Naruto trademark jutso : Rasengan. It would be strange to see Naruto without one of his signature jutsus...

Would we ever see Naruto in Kyubified / kitsune form (with tail or tails made of ref chakra)?


A few Naruto's one shots:
* Given Enough Time and Only Bastards Rise - nice ideas of jutsus for (mature) Naruto.
* Under the Skin - Aburame Shino. Creepy and a bit disturbing fanfic.

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Saturday 5th July 2008 3:47am

Well done battle here, and was awesome to all the three members standing up, and yet, not just romping over the others, but actually working hard for it, and great to see the difference that Haku makes this time around.

Rexnos posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 8:50pm

I'm so tempted to watch Naruto just to see how things have changed... Not being in on the series basically makes this seem like a straight story as opposed to a fic... Still, I just can't tolerate the stupidity of the anime...

Anyway, one hell of an action-packed chapter. I'm trying to write a single action sequence right now and failing miserably, and my character isn't even a ninja... This whole chapter was just awesome.

Later,
Rex

Bobboky posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 3:44pm

sweet