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aelreth posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 11:34am

I really liked this chapter, you and your team interwove multiple fights together, also those fights didn't feel choreographed. That was a refreshing suprise you kept me as a reader on my toes hanging onto every word.

I really liked how you kept up on Hinata's personal development, once she gets and the team get finally debriefed most likely after turning in their catch she will be commended once again by her Sensei and the Hokage. Looking back you could say that her time in the hospital was her 'rock bottom' and now she is fast becomming her own person.

The Hokage fight while to some would seem implausible made absolute sense. Orochimaru like most strategists creates dozens of sub-plans and contingencies to isolate and neutralize their opponent. Haku's entry combined with the loss of the kinjutsu Orochimaru was going to use as a trump card meant that the battle was going to go differently. Using the poison on the sword was also in line with his character, it simply wouldn't make sense for a ninja of Orochimaru's age to not think of another good trick beyond his bag of tricks. While some would call non-canon (a redundant statement in AU)in regards to Haku's survival, I would say that Orochimaru wouldn't be able to muster the ability to kill Haku quickly enough before he lost track of Sarutobi which in this level of fight is fatal.

I'm also glad that this Naruto that is being made is far more practical and realistic the thoughts "The anguish on the girl’s face bothered him, but it wouldn’t stop him from killing her brother." Means that his actual psyche will be ready to actually lead missions and be able to make decisions with the lives of his team in mind.

Thanks for continuing this magneficent work, have a great summer!

Prince Charon posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 10:29am

You're very good at this.

Thank you for updating.

More soon, please.

Sml posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 9:45am

Awesome, most definitely. I got to say I am very glad Haku is still alive, and even better he‘s on their side. I knew you had some type of plan for him when you didn’t have him killed and now, maybe, he and Naruto can meet and be friends. I hope at least since I think they could help each other grow even more with one being serious and kind while the other energetic and sunny, and seeing how he'd react to Hinata and Shino, heck the whole set of rookies would be great. Plus if the way your painting the Hyuuga clan keeps going then he’ll need all the help he can get from enemies within and out. I humbly ask you please keep up the great work and wait in anticipation of the next chapter. One question though. If the old white haired pervert wasn’t fighting the giant snake, where was he?

Fate posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 6:13am

Wonderful chapter!
I love this story!!

Teresa Lynne posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 5:18am

I loved seeing the different battles and how Naruto and the others dealt with the invaders! Especially the part where Naruto got a look at what might have happened to him if he hadn't been the type of person he was and didn't have his friends and his sensei. Many thanks for the chapter! :)

eg posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 4:48am

It great...I'm still waiting for the plot to appear though.

tempeleng posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 1:51am

Fantastically awesome chapter! The pace of battles was just right and made the story flow.

A few points below:

Naruto seems to be more overpowered compared to the earlier chapters.

Would it be possible for Orochimaru (and the entire Sound 4) to escape, despite being surrounded by Konoha's finest? Maybe he should sacrifice a few of the Sound 4.

Viridian replied:

Keep in mind that Naruto did 3 weeks of intensive training with Jiraiya and Gai before the exam started, and Kurenai had given him excellent intel on his opponents.

Well, Orochimaru and the Sound 4 managed a very similar escape in canon under very similar circumstances, so it should turn out roughly the same here. (Konoha's outlying districts aren't as heavily damaged in the attack, but the Leaf Shinobi still have to go out and fight. The ANBU around the barrier were present in canon as well.)

BaltaineShadow posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 1:26am

Damn it! I waited that long to get to read this chapter!
But, I have to admit, you really did a great job with this chapter! I really enjoyed reading it - thanks anyways for letting Haku survive the battle with Kakashi. He always was one of my favorite characters... and I didn't even notice him during the written test... lol

STBgirl posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 1:20am

Really good chapter. I liked the way you wrote the multiple fight scenes, it felt fast-paced but not too confusing. Looking forward to reading the next chapter.

redhandgrunt posted a comment on Thursday 3rd July 2008 6:39pm

Great chapter. I think you did wonderfully interweaving the stories and showing the emotion from the Sand siblings. I had no problem with Shino Clubbing Kankuro instead of killing him mainly since you stated very clearly that the objective was capture not kill.

jerry posted a comment on Thursday 3rd July 2008 4:54pm

loved the chapter . . the arm of Orochimaru’s that got shattered , was it the one with the summing tattoo? will you be adding the filler aces in to the story before he goes off on the 3 year training trip (a summing he goes on it) It is something hardly seen in fanfiction. it will give you some more time on his team training.

Mickey posted a comment on Thursday 3rd July 2008 3:23pm

GREAT CHAPTER! Calling Orochimaru's plot overly complicated and insufficiently insulated is like saying pi has a lot of numbers.

I was surprised not to see any mention of the toad-sanin, I assume next chapter we'll discover what he'd been doing.

great fight in the forest, also great and very original Hokage's battle. I'm assuming that even if he survives he will not be in any condition to keep running the village so we'll have some version of the Tsunade search without forcing events to match canon.

looking forward to more, of this or any of your other stories.

Mickey

stormmaster posted a comment on Thursday 3rd July 2008 3:21pm

Fantastic. Each and every chapter just gets better and better. I actually prefer this to canon.

Although I don't generally like the interweaving of different plot lines simultaneously, you did it very well, and was able to follow along without getting lost.

Keep up the great work!

Ronnie McMains posted a comment on Thursday 3rd July 2008 2:22pm

Well, that was different. Orochimaru didn't have his arms sealed, but he's missing one. The Third didn't have to summon Shinigami, so that puts him ahead on points (short an arm, but still breathing rates as acceptable in my book).

They've got the Sand team, most of the Sound team will probably be spending the next little while with Ibiki (those who are unlucky enough to still be alive), the Sandaime's still kicking...are they even going to have go to find Tsunade?

BTW, Haku FTW! Orochimaru thought he'd have an easy time taking Sarutobi down, and all it took was one rookie ANBU to blow his plan to Yomi.

Also loved Shikamaru's take on the battle; "Now that they know we can do this well, they'll be expecting it all the time. Bah!" Also liked his exchange with Naruto; "You still can't gauge your chakra?" "No, it's just summoning 30 or so clones doesn't take enough for me to notice." Take that, Mr. Must-Conserve-My-Chakra.

You, Tim, and Bob and Alyx all updated on the same day...Epic Win. Keep up the good work!

QOShea posted a comment on Thursday 3rd July 2008 1:31pm

Damn! Gotta say this was a great chapter. The combat sequences were very good. It was good to see Haku as well.

Look forward to a chapter of whichever you work on next!

Ugaritic Mot posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 10:03pm

Very well done. But as team 8, by the looks of things so far with Jiraiya's involvement, is about to be temporarily disbanded with Naruto leaving (depending on how much you follow the canon) I hope that you can cram as much Naruhina in there as possible but hey who knows what you have planned

James13 posted a comment on Thursday 29th May 2008 5:59pm

You are my hero :)

joncooper posted a comment on Monday 19th May 2008 6:31pm

I've never really looked at anime before, and never come across Naruto. However, I love NoFP, and so started reading this in an idle moment. I was quickly hooked - your writing style is very good!

OngKhan posted a comment on Thursday 15th May 2008 4:11am

Your story is excellent,and I love the way in which you write strategy and action scenes. I do have to wonder if you're overpowering Naruto and Shino though. They never seem to make mistakes, and everything tends to work out in their favor rather easily. Hopefully I'll be proven wrong when Naruto fights Shukaku Gaara eh? Keep up the great work!

redhandgrunt posted a comment on Tuesday 13th May 2008 5:34pm

I had to reread the whole story to get myself reacquainted with the plot since I've skipped reading the last few updates and forgot quite a bit. To put it succinctly. Awesome.

It is always great to see Iruka in fanfiction. In my opinion he is one of the sadly overlooked characters. Well at least giving him any depth other than just saying Naruto met him to eat ramen.

I love your Shino. Everything about him screams awesome. He is one of my favorites probably because he is the closest to a real ninja from the series and you have made him a great character with a unique personallity.

Well I'm not going to go over everything that's cool. You probably get enough of that. Great story. I hope to see another update soon.