Harry James posted a comment on Friday 9th April 2010 12:29am
---Spoilers in Review! You have been warned.---
The anticipation for this made it great, but I dislike the early Kurenai kill. If your timeline is still with canon, then they have only been genin for about 3 months, and your story does the time-line a lot faster. Killing her wasn't depressing, it was a "what the hell did he do that for?" moment to me. We haven't had anything to make her personal yet. She is just what you called her, a mouth-piece, and therefore, cannon fodder.
For the most part, this runs as a very believable alter line from canon, although I think Jiraiya was intentionally teaching him the fourth's techniques since his dad couldn't, so if you chose to have him learn frog summon, you could always put that in at some later point.
I think you are playing favorites. So far, this is how everyone wanted it to be. Zabuza dying was unavoidable and he died in an awesome way, but nobody wanted Haku to die or the third. Keeping the alive made this quite literally everyone's dream version of the story. You get your fave characters and that gushy NaruHina you all want, however, saving the 3rd and Haku, but killing off a less popular character (whom would eventually carry Asuma's baby) and changing Itachi to a pure evil guy is weird, even though him preventing the possibility of countering his jutsu becoming a popular practice makes sense (although I doubt there are any other characters with as much talent and training in genjutsu that could, not to mention a kyuubi naruto won't be in everyone's subconscious to make the bad tsukuyomi go away). I think her reversing the jutsu with kyuubi would have been a sufficient twist. Besides, where was her forhead protector? Isn't that EXACTLY what they were for? Her character actually wore one too.
Sorry to say, but that little deviation kinda ruined it for me. Even if it was outlined, that knowledge on Itachi's secret good guy choice was out months ago, so I would call THAT another shark jump on top of a shark jump, especially since there has always been that underlying doubt about him, which made it less of a shark jump and more of an jaw-dropping revelation. They never answered why he did it until his death making it hard to accept him as good or bad. I may be out of line, but I don't think that will be popular with other readers. Plus, him being genuinely evil stops the Sasuke rebellion for the most part. As soon as he kills Itachi, no more need to run from Konoha. If he still kills him AND Orochimaru, his leaving is really of no consequence to Konoha. They might even make him a hero for it in your story. He could easily come back (if he leaves at all in this line). Since he feels especially weak compared to everyone else, it seems inevitable that he will.
After all this time, I think I will finally have to say goodbye to Team 8. Your story was great while it lasted, and a part of me will miss waiting for the next chapter, but that really did ruin it for me. In a way, this was like Ender's game and Ender's shadow, only you changed it main character's position on events instead of who perceived them. Now it's random. Still appreciate the work, and I hope Nightmare's of Future's Past updates soon. That one is entirely unique and I don't think anything you do will make me hate it.
Thanks for the Story!
dan26 posted a comment on Thursday 8th April 2010 9:54pm
In Hinata's case home is where her heart is but not where she's born
Dracolych69 posted a comment on Thursday 8th April 2010 2:04pm
Nice. Pity the info on how to break the Tsukiyoumi didn't get out. Your work is always top notch, so it's not a problem. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter!
bluminous posted a comment on Thursday 8th April 2010 2:00pm
Noooooo! Kurenai's dead!
Still, Thank you for updating. Her death was glorious, having been able to defeat Itachi's Genjutsu.
M. F. Enright posted a comment on Thursday 8th April 2010 11:17am
i only had respect for tsunade, anko, temari, and kurenai, i hate you. i hates you forever!!!!! now that that is out of my system. still a good story. thank you!
Rexnos posted a comment on Thursday 8th April 2010 12:42am
Um... Wow... Didn't see that one coming... Kurenai is... dead? Holy crap... I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, to learn that it was only a genjutsu Kurenai dropped to make Itatchi THINK he'd killed her but... Wow...
It always surprises me how I always react the same to characters dying. At first there is the disbelief that a person, particularly key, developed, plot characters, can be snuffed out so quickly and unceremoniously. Then there is the denial, wondering if it's all a trick or a bad joke or another character's nightmare. Eventually I move on to acceptance and realize it's for real.
In any case, a good if dark chapter. Without Kurenai around I have no idea how things are going to go down (not that I ever did...). What will befall team eight now? How will Naruto react? Will Hinata fall apart again? I'm not sure if you made the right decision really, seeing as she was the narrator most of the time but I'm sure you planned for that and it's your fic in the first place. I imagine the next chapter will deal with the aftermath. Man, they're in some deep dark now...
Immortalitis posted a comment on Thursday 8th April 2010 12:41am
*Cries* No! Not Kurenai!
Well...at least it's a damn awesome plot point. And that scene with the Kyuubi...man, Kisame and Itachi really don't stand a chance if Naruto ever unleashes it.
Freaking great to have you back Viridian!
Gena posted a comment on Thursday 8th April 2010 12:34am
i wish she had a clone or something or she was saved. Or asuma had gone and saved her at least. I hope naruto will be ok. So you dont kill off his grandfather figure he gets but more his mother figure.
jgkitarel posted a comment on Wednesday 7th April 2010 10:32pm
Ouch, that... was a bastard thing to do. Nice work, and at least you made sure that when she went out, it was hoisting a genius prodigy by his petard. So what if said prodigy came out of the entire thing relatively unscathed? His pride took a hit.
Hmm, wonder who the next sensei will be? *speculates shamelessly*
I see that the seal is not quite what it seems, but then again, a Tsukoyomi has some interesting effects, no? I have a feeling that when they face off against Orochimaru, Naruto, Hinata, and co. are going to have a nice... chat with Orochimaru and Kabuto. Either that, or Naruto's gonna lay it on thick to Tsunade, and not pull any punches.
PhishBulb posted a comment on Wednesday 7th April 2010 10:11pm
It's hard to judge this major plot twist as if it's in a vacuum. As a part of a complete epic length story it might work. As part of a story with absolutely no indication that it might be finished Kurenai's death seems completely unnecessary.
There's no way to say this without seeming insulting: I'd say the over/under of chapters posted after this point is 3 and I would comfortably take the under.
With this chapter you've taken a story with several epic moments and a solid level of quality to what can only seem as a review whoring twist.
The real test is if you actually take the time to write the remainder of this story. My fear, which I can only assume will be proven true, is that you will have sacrificed an unfinished but immanently re-readable story for a slightly less unfinished but forgettable story. I hope that's not the case but I'm damn sure that's what will happen. Best of luck if you post again...
moon_pup posted a comment on Wednesday 7th April 2010 8:12pm
I have to ask do you have a link to the art work you asked about? The picture did not load. I am on a ot of art pages and it would not be a problem to ask around.
uncle_rand posted a comment on Wednesday 7th April 2010 5:44pm
I'm not sure yet, but killing Kurenai may have ruined this story for me. She was the only adult that actually went out of her way to stick up for Naruto, rather than just defending him from the villagers physical attacks. I hope her death serves some purpose other than trying to make everyone see Itachi as evil.
Jonathan Langford posted a comment on Wednesday 7th April 2010 3:15pm
Whoa. Very hard. I respect the need to do tough things, but it's going to be hard for me to keep reading. Not intended as a criticism; just letting you know that this brings it a lot closer to something I probably wouldn't want to read.
BaltaineShadow posted a comment on Wednesday 7th April 2010 3:10pm
Great to have you back!
This chapter was sad - unexpectedly so. Kurenai is gone. Unbelievable. But rest assured: I'll wait with condemning you at least until the next chapter - just to see how this might turn out to be...
So... update soon.
R. Daniels posted a comment on Wednesday 7th April 2010 1:34pm
Urg. I'm in a bit of shock even as aplaud your dedication to the Joe Bob Briggs Rule of Charater Mortality. Rarely is a Crowning Moment of Awesome followed so quickly by a perminent Epic Fail. I was actually expecting a genjutsu until about two cuts later. I also think that this story just took a desidedly darker turn, especially in Naruto's subversion, and leaving Hinata without her protecter.
liquidfyre posted a comment on Wednesday 7th April 2010 1:19pm
Damn good to see you back, and a damn good way to make your return. I may however have to hunt you down cover you with gorilla tape and then rip it off by attaching the end to a moving truck for what you did to Kurenai. Other than that it is a damn good chapter in a damn good story. Even that was well written just so ya know. I merely didn't like the result, so to speak.
Julianne posted a comment on Wednesday 7th April 2010 12:12pm
As long as the "bad things happed to good people" have actual reasons instead of just because you can (also if bad things can happen to the bad people too?), I think I can accept it(not like it, mind you). Some fics just seem to degrade into killing of all the good characters and I end up wishing for the Kyuubi to break free and put an end to it all, if I don't stop reading the fic completely. It's just incrediablely depressing.
That being said, you have no idea how glad I am to see this story updated again. This is (even with you killing off Kurenai) the best Naruto story I've ever read and pretty much the standard I judge all others by. So I look foward to the next chapter, hopefully soon.
GremlinXTJ posted a comment on Wednesday 7th April 2010 11:47am
YAY! You are back! I am very, VERY happy you gave us another fine chapter in this story! Also I am very, VERY sad you killed Kurenai. :(
What will happen to Naruto and Hinata now? This is a HUGE blow for both of them.
Quizer posted a comment on Wednesday 7th April 2010 11:33am
What to say after this? It's a huge disappointment, that's for sure. First, you have Kurenai pull the biggest Crowning Moment of Awesome ever in defeating Itachi's Tsukuyomi, and then you kill her and make it all for nothing. It makes a horrible amount of sense that Itachi wouldn't let her live after this, and I admire your guts as a writer for going through with that decision, and your skill in making it obvious that it is a logical outcome, no matter how painful that is. The logical progression of the plot in your story, based on the character's actions and motivations rather than plot events is what I admire most about your style of writing.
But nonetheless, this is a cruel blow to us readers. Personally, I resent having my emotions toyed with in that 'defeat from the jaws of victory' way, but even more than that I regret that this event will forever mar a story with so much potential for awesomeness as this one. This is the kind of thing that absolutely obliterates the re-read value of a written work - you just lowered the glass ceiling of potential quality down on this story, big time.
There is no question that I'll continue to follow this story - your writing is just that good - but I'm left seriously wondering how this is supposed to be worth it in the end. Kurenai certainly hadn't outlived her usefulness as far as Naruto's emotional development goes - I wonder who will pick up the slack now that she's out of the picture, or will Naruto have to fend for himself again? The budding romance with Hinata also got frozen in a big way - just where is the silver lining in this?
You said this plot point was in the outline from day one, but why? After breaking his Tsukuyomi, Itachi couldn't let her live, but her death could easily have been averted further back in the timeline. Is there a storytelling reason, something that makes up for it, or is it really just to break the 'plot armor' clichÃ©?
I don't understand this obsession with high drama and tragedy many writers have - gloating about having the balls to pull an Anyone Can Die is really, really low. What's so great about there being no plot armor? I found the story plenty interesting before you did this and would I never have noticed or cared. My idea of entertainment would have been to see Naruto and Hinata slowly recover from the ordeals of the Chuunin Exams on their journey with Jiraija, to see that extremely smooth, slow, believable curve of development in their characters and skills continue, not this.
I didn't really notice a lot of what was going on after that scene where Kurenai died, since I was too preoccupied and reeling from the rapid reversal of fortune. You would have caught a lot of flak in the reviews for it, but from a technical point of view, an evil cliffhanger right after that moment might have been the better choice.
Well, all that's left is to wait for the next chapters. I'm saddened by the turn this story has taken, and barring a really surprising development, I don't think I'll ever have the same unreservedly high opinion of it that I had when I started reading this chapter.
kdsmashedpotatoes posted a comment on Wednesday 7th April 2010 11:06am
I am so glad you updated! YAY!!!
As for killing off Kurenai... ah. I liked her. But hell, it's your story so you can do whatever the hell you want. Besides, I know that killing her off is only going to reveal new plot points that are going to be even more awesome, so I can't really complain.
As for the people freaking out over her death... well... you did develop her into a nice ol' character that everyone loved, so I guess it makes sense. But honestly, I'm waiting for Naruto and Sasuke to argue over who's gonna rend Itachi's flesh. Yay flesh-rending! (Is that even a word? Is it flesh-rendering? ...You get the idea :P ).
Loved the Kuubi hitting on Hinata. Made my day. I'm surprised no one else mentioned it. I read that part three times and continued to giggle.
So... all in all... this chapter makes me excited for more. Yay! Yay! Yay! (I apologize for the excessive fan-girl. I like this story lots).
Thanks for updating; I'm waiting eagerly for more.