scott2 posted a comment on Tuesday 7th March 2006 9:00pm

Kyuubi is making more of an appearence (or his chakra at least) along with raising questions, shino in action rocked, a bug kage bushin, excellent.

wonder how the C grade mission for Team 7 is going...was it The wave country mission or is that coming up, Hinata is growing a spine which is awesome, I always liked her and felt the need to smack down her father, which would have got me killed course he is a ninja and I'm...not :)

until next time

Rorschach's Blot posted a comment on Tuesday 7th March 2006 6:31pm

Very good, I am very impressed by the quality of this chapter and of the story as a whole. I like the way that you've taken the time to build each of the characters rather than doing a quick one line transformation. The concept behind this is excellent and so is the execution, again very good job.

Uldihaa posted a comment on Tuesday 7th March 2006 4:57pm

Wonderful chapter, simply wonderful. Well written, and nicly paced. I love the way your developing Team 8 and the way the team itself is coming together. I'm really looking foward to seeing Team 8 grow and evolve.

Can't wait for the next chapter of this excelent fic.

Triggerbox posted a comment on Tuesday 7th March 2006 4:25pm

This is one of the best Naruto fanfics I have read. I really like what your doing with the characters, and the relationships of the team. Please continue this excellent fic.

kittykatluver posted a comment on Tuesday 7th March 2006 3:48pm

Very good! I like Hinata..

Leon posted a comment on Tuesday 7th March 2006 3:20pm

This fic is of a much higher quality than many of the naruto fic on ff.net. I just hope you know that this has been a thoroughly enjoyable chapter, and definately worth the long torturous wait since chapter 3. Ok, now i'm just laying it on thick, but it was a very good chapter. I like the las confrontation, and the fact that they actually planned for such a contingency was great too.

NeoFenrir posted a comment on Tuesday 7th March 2006 3:01pm

My favorite chapter so far. I enjoy seeing Naruto get the kind of attention he deserves from his peers and sensei(s), and I am always up for more Naruto/Hinata interaction. I have to wonder how Team 7 is going to fare with Zabuza and Haku, since Naruto did kinda save the day there. Anyway, good work; I'll be anxiously awaiting part 5.

glorfy posted a comment on Friday 3rd March 2006 6:23am

woot, team 8 goodness.

love the quote from the matrix *G*

i cant wait to see one of narutos training sessions with gai.
although i think i fear it at the same time.
:)

love the bunshin thing, and his joke. or was he not joking? i think it was perhaps a bit of both

cheers for the quick update :)

-glorfy

Davideg posted a comment on Thursday 2nd March 2006 7:51pm

fantastic story please update agin soon

Mathew McCrillis posted a comment on Thursday 2nd March 2006 3:13pm

I really like your story, the changes help me empathize with the characters better. You are quickly becoming one of my favorite authors.

Ja!

kittykatluver posted a comment on Thursday 2nd March 2006 2:39pm

Very nice-a! I don't normally read Naruto fanfic, but this caught my interest quite quickly! Good job!

draconix posted a comment on Thursday 2nd March 2006 1:41pm

Hey there, I was reading this story over at fanfiction.net as well. Looking forward to seeing where you go with this.

scott2 posted a comment on Thursday 2nd March 2006 1:28pm

very nice, I expected more loudmouth Naruto for at least a few chapters but this version of him is a lot more enjoyable, are you going to have a scene were Shino usess his bugs I've always thought they were damn cool...and a little freaky, wonder how Naruto is going to respnd to Kyuubi this time round?

black_kitten34 posted a comment on Thursday 2nd March 2006 12:55pm

I like it, I'm just not very familiar with the story of Naruto. Is sounds very good to me. I was hoping you could give me some background on Naruto himself. If you could send me the background info to my e-mail that would be very helpful cause i've asked others and no one that I spoke to could tell me what it was about. my email is black_kitten34@yahoo.com thank you in advance

Quizer posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 9:03am

"I wouldn’t be surprised if, after getting used to your routine, he didn’t start running the two of you ragged."

I found another little grammatical error, which I thought I'd let you know about. You want only one negative in the above sentence; preferably keep the beginning if you want the meaning to stay exactly the same. Make the second part "...routine, he started running...".
If you want, I can go over the story again, looking for more of this stuff.

Quizer

Quizer posted a comment on Tuesday 28th February 2006 9:15pm

"Yes, Kurenai’s past in this story is not canon — it’s pretty much been left as an open book."

I think the phrase you're looking for here is 'empty sheet'. The other expression is to 'read someone like an open book', which means their emotions, or in this case, her history, are clear to everybody. This however is the opposite of what I think you are trying to say. Since you use the turn of phrase within the chapter as well, I thought I'd tell you.

Quizer

Quizer posted a comment on Tuesday 28th February 2006 12:11pm

I've read the third chapter on ff.net now. Do you know how damn frickin popular this story is?! Having ~650 reviews for a three chapter story, simply beggars belief, especially in a fandom that is many orders smaller than the HP one. I only hope to see more of this soon.

Quizer

Quizer posted a comment on Tuesday 28th February 2006 9:32am

Heh, I'm reading wikipedia, too, to get up to speed on the contrasts between this and canon, and to actually get a look at the major characters. It's almost too bad that this is probably taking second priority behind NoFP. Exploring this entirely new world seems much more exciting to me at the moment.
BTW, the reference in that fic about the chinese sorcerers using 'seals' instead of wanded magic is a reference to Naruto, isn't it?

I hope we'll see more of this someday!

Quizer

Quizer posted a comment on Tuesday 28th February 2006 8:30am

This is a very interesting story. I've never seen a single episode of Naruto, but this fascinates me nonetheless. Apparently you've already changed several things profoundly, since in canon, Naruto's partners appear to be those two who shunned him (I read up a tiny bit after it became clear I really know absolutely nothing). It would help if your story explained the terminology better, by including short side-sentences, or alternatively by adding a glossar at the end of chapters. The first would make the story flow much smoother, though, and I don't think it would really be annonying to readers who know what all that is. ;)

Quizer

Tildessmoo posted a comment on Tuesday 28th February 2006 5:12am

I can't believe how hard it is to find a Naruto fanfic that isn't some combination of A)badly written, B)merely an excuse for a slashfic, C)completely unrealistic without even the excuse of AU, or D)unduly cliched or Mary-Sued. I'm not certain I can express my relief and delight at finding a well-written, realistic story that branches off with one small "what if?" and shows an amazing depth of thought and planning in showing how this universe diverges from the canon. Your examination of the characters' motivations and how one small change could affect their lives is unique, well-thought-out, and just plain fun to read. I'm looking forward to another chapter even more than I am looking forward to updates in your HP fanfics (and, believe you me, that's saying something!)