By Viridian
Reviews
Darrell1 posted a comment on Wednesday 26th July 2006 11:55pm
Great Chapter, just awesome. Please update soon
Canis posted a comment on Wednesday 26th July 2006 11:40pm
This chapter provided a pleasant diversion.
That said, as much as I enjoy this story, I've been eagerly awaiting the next chapter of Nightmares of Future's Past since you posted the year two epilogue chapter so...PLEASE, PLEASE update that one next if possible? Please? *picks up his squirming sixty pound puppy dog in hopes that he'll cooperate and give the author the 'cute puppy dog eyes'*
Well, whatever's next, Team 8 or Nightmares, I'm quite sure I'll enjoy it.
Adrian R Brown posted a comment on Wednesday 26th July 2006 11:21pm
Another great chapter! As always, this is most likely my favorite story in all of fanfiction.
You've definitely done a good job of making the Hyuuga come across as the biggest bad guys in the story. I look forward to the time when they begin to get put into their place, and their eyes are forcably opened. Hopefully soon. :)
I loved the characterizations of Shino's and Kiba's father and mother, respectively. I'm always happy to get glimpses into the families in the series that we rarely ever seem to see. It's also good to see Shino beginning to see what weaknesses lie in his dependence on the bug colonies. Hoping it will lead to him developing other, non-bug related, skills.
I'm curious to see how Naruto deals with the aftermath of his two kills, once it catches up with him. I also liked the touch about his resemblance to the 4th Hokage. Are you planning on doing anything with Naruto's parentage in the series?
Great stuff! Keep it up!
Adrian (Sobek)
Nick posted a comment on Wednesday 26th July 2006 8:07pm
Behold the power of meaty reviews eh? Well not quite, meaty, but perhaps an appetizer.
Great story, great chapter.
Not too many comments (yet) but....
Since Lisuke the Ice Knife (and presumably Kouro the Flame and Kazuyo the Anvil) are in the Bingo Book, does that mean they have bounties on their heads? Won't the bank be surprised when Naruto deposits two of 'em.
Huugas aren't making many friends are they? You can't leave Hinata to deal with them herself! Well maybe you could, but I can't see anything good coming out of it. Hiashi needs a radical change in attitude to accept her and if he does than the next thing he is likely to do is pull her from a "common" team. Especially her team. On the other hand I'm not sure how Naruto or Kurenai could back her up. Naruto can't do much without agravating Hiashi still more, and then the only solution would be to remove Hinata from his sphere of influence (direct influence at least). And Kurenai has to stay within the dictates of Shinobi society, with their strict seperation of duty and home...
On jutsus...Naruto's main strength seems to be the fact that he can ridiculously overpower simple jutsus. A simple water condensation jutsu overpowering a (presumably) fairly high level fire attack jutsu...
ROFL! Sorry. I just realised that Naruto just replicated the Chidori without actually performing a jutsu. Piercing jutsu right? Goes through most any defence? Like Naruto's arm, through steel plated chest? ROFL.
Anyway, I do want to make a suggestion: limit jutsus that Naruto can significantly improve by pumping more chacra into them to fairly simple ones....say ones that require only one or two hand seals. The way I understand it the seals are supposed to direct the flow of chakra so the more seals there are the more intricate the pattern chakra is supposed to form, the harder it is to control the jutsu. And Naruto already has control problems. It's just that this is anawesome story and I'm afraid that at the rate you are going you aren't going to leave Naruto any threats. I mean he just took on two trained nins (presumably they are mid to high level chuunin) in a row and wiped the floor with them. Admitedly they seriously underestimated him and thus didn't turn serious until too late, or had anger and disbelief clouding their better judgement, but still. Though...it is realistic, since Gaara of the Desert regularly wipes the floor with Chuunin (and has taken down at least one Jounin). Hmmm. Yep, great story.
Can't wait for the next chapter.
Eliew posted a comment on Wednesday 26th July 2006 5:55pm
Just a few comments/questions, why is Konohamaru addressing Naruto as Naruto-san rather than Naruto-niisan and shouldn't Naruto require some counselling after the battle. Afterall, this is probably the first time he had killed somebody.
Other than that, the chappie is interesting. Just wondering though, how close to canon will you be following, especially regarding Naruto's techniques and training methods.
NeoFenrir posted a comment on Wednesday 26th July 2006 4:19pm
Anything with Naruto going Kyuubi in defence of his friends is good with me. Team 8 interaction (especially between Naruto and Hinata, but oddly enough I really like your version of Shino) is always welcome. Insinuations of a relationship between Naruto and the Fourth are good.
The quality of the writing is, as always, superb, and though I do wish updates to this (and Nightmares, of course) would come a bit sooner, I certainly understand why they don't. So please, continue with this excellent story; I anxiously await the next installment.
tzuchan posted a comment on Wednesday 26th July 2006 2:57pm
Hmm...
One question, why did Naruto change the name of the chakra pulse?
In the previous chapther, you had him using Naruto Higi, and in this one you had him using Naruto Majutsu(Which is closer to Naruto Magic then Naruto Technique(Sorcery) if you ask me...)
asher1978 posted a comment on Wednesday 26th July 2006 2:51pm
Another great chapter with Naruto growing a a little. Great fight sequence. I really like this team of genins. Keep up the great work and more soon please!
glorfy posted a comment on Wednesday 26th July 2006 1:40pm
as always, an excellent update.
it should be interesting to see how naruto handles the fact he just got his first kills.
and Hinita really kicks ass when she has to, ne?
im guessing that getting a second colony is some kind of rite of passage for shino, but either way he seemed to be shocked.
cheers for your hard work
-Glorfy
Davideg posted a comment on Wednesday 26th July 2006 1:17pm
heh another fantastic chapter to a fantastic story please keep it up and update agin a.s.a.p.
Jamey posted a comment on Wednesday 26th July 2006 12:57pm
I think Hinabi needs it pointed out to her that Hinata did *NOT* in fact fall first - if Hinabi hadn't fallen in the first battle, she wouldn't have been kidnapped.
Stupid bint.
Bobboky posted a comment on Wednesday 26th July 2006 12:37pm
very much in the way of being excellent
William Fowler posted a comment on Wednesday 26th July 2006 12:35pm
Wonderful chapter, and I like the way they saw the fourth when looking at Naruto. Boy, Hiashi is a b--tard isn't he. Someone seriously need to get whatever is crammed up his backside and dispose of it.
Oh, and I love Miss Crimson Sunset, the woman just CARES so much that it makes ME feel in a good mood. :D
In general, this was a great chapter, that I seriously enjoyed taking the time to read, of course, I could have done with some Hiashi bashing, and some Naruto-sticking-up-for-the-underdog, but that doesn't even happen in the manga until the Chuunin Exam.
Which, by the way, I can't wait for your version of.
Alright, is this review meaty enough for ya?
Just kidding, thanks for the update, and have a great night!
William
Brandon West posted a comment on Wednesday 26th July 2006 12:30pm
As usual, very good.
It's probably a good thing that Naruto here doesn't know the Rasengan or Chidori, as he was already pissed enough to put a fist through the steel skin guy. With an actual chakra attack, there probably wouldn't have been big enough pieces to even know there was a ninja there.
Also, interesting techniques you're coming up with. How are you translating them into Japanese, or are they techniques that I just haven't run across because I'm not completely up to date with the manga/anime.
It was fun to watch Shino get startled as well, seeing him receive a bit of help that he'd never expected. Since his character is so under-developed in canon, you're bringing him and his whole clan along very well.
Hmm, was this meaty enough to motivate you? :)
Anxiously awaiting the next update.
Terry Chang1 posted a comment on Tuesday 25th July 2006 2:41am
so i'm reading this for the um, lost count, and i just realized something (yes, i'm extremely slow). i like how the tone of the writing changes between the characters. the writing becomes just a bit simpler when it's naruto's pov, and just a bit more complicated when it's shino. nice touch.
Uldihaa posted a comment on Monday 17th July 2006 1:28pm
Hmm, in re-reading this fic I've been reminded of a minor error in this chapter. When Naruto and Hinata first spend an evening training together, Naruto mentions that Shino and Hinata are working on tree-climbing while he's still having trouble with the water-walking that was introduced two weeks before. The order of the training is incorrect; it's tree-climbing, then water-walking. The water-walking was stated in canon as being much more difficult than tree-climbing.
You might want to go back and edit that. Maybe have Naruto state that while he was able to finally get the tree-climbing, he was having a lot more problems with water-walking. As for Hinata and Shino, they could be working on both while carrying a training dummy or weights to make it more difficult, and to show that they'd advanced beyond Naruto's current skill.
Thought I'd point this out before I forgot about it again :p
Viridian replied:
Actually, Kurenai did that on purpose. The exercises are different, but her motivations were rooted primarily in safety. Since a shallow pool was available on the training grounds, Kurenai decided to teach the water walking first. If her student loses concentration mastering the first post-genin chakra control exercise, they get wet feet. If, say, Kakashi's student loses concentration, they fall backward and maybe get a cracked skull. Especially since she was having her students work on chakra control by themselves for the most part, Kurenai decided teach them in that order. When they start working on tree-climbing, they are already a little more adept at regulating their chakra flows...
Uldihaa posted a comment on Sunday 2nd July 2006 7:42am
Yes! A new chapter of the Naruto fic that is now officially my favorite. The continued growth and maturation of Naruto is one of the things that I look forward to in this fic. I'm glad someone is taking Naruto's mental potential seriously, rather than merely focusing on his physical potential. I like the way Shino seems to be relaxing around his team mates. I hope Naruto's plan to help Hinata gain some much needed confidence works.
I'm looking forward to seeing what happens to Team 8 on the border and how they will grow and change. I'm also looking forward to seeing how Team 7 is doing. I'm personally hoping that they are not doing nearly as well as Naruto's team.
Terry Swain posted a comment on Thursday 29th June 2006 4:42pm
Great chapter. :)
kwp posted a comment on Thursday 29th June 2006 4:15pm
Shino turned toward Naruto and nodded after a moment’s silence. "I will take your turns setting up the tents and hunting," he offered.
That may prove to have been the mosting interesting line of the story. Shino, who prizes logic, evaluates the situation, and makes the decisions to support Naruto's plan, without knowing exactly what it is. So, a sense of teamwork develops. If Kurenai realized what happened here, she would be thrilled.
Of course, perhaps she did realize it, or put it together afterwards. This chapter seemed to break from the pattern of the earlier chapters, staying much more cloesly with Naruto's viewpoint. In fact, other than the brief scence from Kurenai and one brief one from Shino, the vast majority is from Naruto. The change made the chapter feel shorter in someways, even though the chapter is as long as any of the first three.
Kurenai's reaction toThe boy nodded carefully. "It’ll be good training, I think."amused me as well. To me, it seemed he was echoing Hinata, as well as a hint that he was considering the implications of having to carry one of his teammates away from an encounter. Kurenai seemed to have misread it. She also appears to have misread Naruto's intent with the food. Of course, like Naruto's prank in Chapter 4, Geniuses of Hard Work, Naruto has hit a hot button for Kurenai, and she begins to react without fully analyzing the situation.
Finally the interplay between Hinata and Naruto with regards to leaving the town village developed nicely. Naruto answered Hinata in a disarming fashion, with the truth, but a truth he had come to after his own reflections. This seemed to lend an additional weight to the reply, even if he kept his attitude light.
Over all, I am really enjoying this series. While this chapter for me lacked the highlights of previous two chapters, I still enjoyed watching the groundwork being placed for future development. This is quickly proving to be one of my favorite stories. Thanks for the hardwork you are putting into it!
Terry Chang1 posted a comment on Thursday 27th July 2006 1:39am