By Viridian
Reviews
Mickey posted a comment on Monday 14th August 2006 5:28pm
Very nice story, after reading your Jinchuuriki's Tale I decided to read this on despite not being a Narutu fan. I liked your charactarization of all your characters, and find Hinata's attitude extremly annoying, which come to think of it is the same way I felt about a girl I knew who at the time was in an abusive relationship.
I really hope something is done about the old man who told Narutu he wouldn't have a problem. The others might have slipped by as simply not doing what they should have but he deliberatly set out to sabotage Narutu.
Great job about Narutu's reaction, although I'd have thought it would take longer for reaction to set in.
One more thing you did a great job with the electricity red herring, establishing and using it in a relativly span.
WOuld Hinata be able to leave her father's household if she wished (and accepted not getting anything from her family) or is there something in the culture that would prevent that?
The Unicorn
Ike posted a comment on Monday 14th August 2006 4:28pm
Fantastic chapter...I like the way you handled the angstness, though perhaps you might consider using something different from the "teachers just didnt teach him stuff" card...its been coming up a lot, and it makes total sense, yet by now, I'd imagine that Naruto would have gotten sick over all the lack of shit that he shoulda known, and tried to do something about it.
Justin W. Conley posted a comment on Monday 14th August 2006 4:14pm
Another excellent chapter! Also, I completely agree with your psycological reasoning about the guilt delay. No way is he going to feel guilty about killing a (of Iruka, no less) killer who brags about torturing/using Kurenai and Hinata. Only well afterwards would he wonder if he made the right move.
To be fair to those melodramatic angst fests in 30 minute shows, they have 30 minutes a week to show everything they can, then a week later another 30 minutes. So if it appears in the show that ANY time has passed since the deed (ie: not in front of the corpse/ on the bridge/ ect) people will wonder and complain 'is he STILL whining about that?' I guess you could say the emotional content is compressed and accelerated (no wonder so many of the characters seem bipolar).
Anyway keep up the great work!
Manatheron posted a comment on Monday 14th August 2006 4:02pm
Actually I thought that it was VERY realistic, though a little suprising that he didn't think of the man he was supposedly 'avenging' at all during the fight. Regardless, this was an excellent chapter. The additional insight shown to us by Kurenai's reactions to naruto's counciling, as well as Shino's patient answer are excellent examples of how you can make or break a story in the details, and let me tell you, this one was a definate 'Make'.
thanks again,
Manatheron
aboulhosnc posted a comment on Monday 14th August 2006 4:01pm
At first I disliked naruto the real thing show and manga, because of the way the main character acted being stupid and not being all that good in fights, but after watching a later episode i read the whole manga again and i was hooked, and i like your stories anyway so when i say you had updated on fanfic i saw this story as well, suffice to say i loved it, and after reading al the better ones as well i still like yours the best and i love naruto/hina so please keep up the good work
and update soon please
Jeremy DuCharme posted a comment on Monday 14th August 2006 3:04pm
Hmm, you know even verbally ripping those that sabotaged Naruto pre-team 8 is looking like a full time job. Or at least a serious hobby to fill most of Kurenai's and Iruka's free time.
OTOH the shrink's actions in NOT properly consoling Naruto represent a serious breach of medical ethics, what you feel about the patient doesn't matter, or at least shouldn't, you give them the best care you can. And it could be considered criminally negligent, not just for the harm it caused Naruto. I assume that such sessions also serve to weed out shinobi canidates that are psycologically unfit for such a life. Those that wouldn't be able to take a life, or live with the consequences of doing so afterwards, but more imporantly those that would enjoy it too much. See Itachi Uchiha. Imagine the damage Naruto could do if he was mentally inclined to pull an Itachi. Easing such personalities out of shinobi training would be a good thing, or at least keep an eye on them in their early careers to make sure they turn out okay. I suggest a word to the Hokage, so he can land on the shrink with a pair of steel toed boots.
I suppose Naruto is lucky the shrink didn't try to stamp him 'too mentally unstable' to be trained. Maybe such an overt act would have too much oversite (read, land on the Hokage's desk) and multiple shrinks conquring to be pulled off.
Bobboky posted a comment on Monday 14th August 2006 3:02pm
awesome
Darrell1 posted a comment on Monday 14th August 2006 2:38pm
hey nice chapter i like that he finally told them about Kyuubi and how they accepted him for it. The kid deserves it after all thats happened to him. I was also wondering are you going to introduce Tsunade into the story or end it before hand? And if so will you have Sakura still as her apprentice or have Hinata instead considering that Hinata is his teammate and not Sakura. And is Jiraiya gonna even train Naruto because i can't see Kurenai just dumping Naruto off to Ebisu like Kakashi did *Lazy Bastard* and well love the story ^.^
kwp posted a comment on Monday 14th August 2006 2:35pm
I enjoyed that Shino had figured out Naruto's secret already proved. Hinata's recation seemed perfectly in character. Naruto's own cycle of self-doubt turning into despair and then back to resolution played out nicely.
Once again, you handle the falling action of aftermath so well that I realize how important and essential it is for a good story. Thank you.
QOShea posted a comment on Monday 14th August 2006 2:08pm
Whoooooo ... good chapter, Matt. For some reason I've got a feeling that a certain medical professional is gonna get torn a new opening verbally.
Keep up the good work and don't let the twits ruin your fun with the story!
QOShea
Prince Charon posted a comment on Monday 14th August 2006 1:52pm
You're very good at this.
Orion posted a comment on Monday 14th August 2006 1:26pm
I believe i said in my last review that this was the first Naruto fiction i've read.
Since reading this, I have read others and I still maintain that this is the best. Having seen few episodes - the most recent being Hinata's fight with Neji, I also find myself a very strong Naruto/Hinata shipper.
Anyway, good work, and thank you turning me onto another good anime.
barry1 posted a comment on Saturday 12th August 2006 10:42am
I truly like this story. I like how you have the people in the story growing without rushing them. About the only bad thing is the slow updating time.
Manatheron posted a comment on Wednesday 9th August 2006 6:37pm
Intersting, Intersting.... I hadn't realized that you Published this fic as well (alas) You do a wonderful job describing the interactions between The Hyuuga, as well as Keeping us interested in how naruto is being treated. I must admit that I feel you are foreshadowing that Haishi is behind a vast majority of the anamosity that naruto is expirencing... Perhaps I'm reading it wrong however.
The Mention of 'the Yellow Flash' could also potentially be an intersting bit of foreshadowing... Out of courisity, Will naruto be training under Jirayia at all? or will he not feel it necessary as he is being pushed quite well by his current training regimnet?
Anyway, I'm about to adjust my Alert Status, Please keep up the good work!
Manatheron
KingDark posted a comment on Wednesday 9th August 2006 3:55am
I really really like what you have written so far! Keep up the good work.
I can't wait for the next chapter.
Kingdark
MstrSwrd posted a comment on Tuesday 8th August 2006 1:49pm
I would actually like to ask a question, even though that was not something you requested. When Naruto called on Kyuubi's power in this chapter, was it like that time with Haku, in which an insane amount of Demonic Chakra poured out of his body? Or like when he fought Orochimaru in the Forrest of Death, in which he only called on a small amount of Kyuubi's Chakra, making him attack relentlessly, but still somewhat in control? Or wa sit somewhere in between that? If you could just make a small mention of it in the next chapter, I would be very grateful (As would anyone else who would be wondering this).
Thank you for your time.
Viridian replied:
"Everything seemed to be covered by a red haze, and Naruto vaguely realized that the Kyuubi’s red chakra was exploding out of his skin. He wondered if this meant the seal was breaking, but he didn’t really care as long as it meant he could stop them from hurting his friends. "
That's directly from chapter 7. Not sure how to make it any clearer. =)
Jake Anderson posted a comment on Monday 7th August 2006 8:21am
Even though I have never seen an episode of naruto,I found myself liking this fic.
Orion posted a comment on Sunday 6th August 2006 1:21pm
While I've enjoyed your HP fics, I've avoided Team 8 for quite some time. Finally, i managed to get around to watching a few episodes of Naruto and quickly found myself a fan. This is the first fan fic i've read for Naruto, so I can't say if it is the best or not, however I certainly expect to find that it is indeed among the best. Very good fic.
atlantis-rob posted a comment on Tuesday 1st August 2006 11:32pm
Jeez I am a few rocks behind it seems, I forgot you updated this recently too! An excellent chapter, I like Naruto's talk with K in the beginning and it makes a great point or two. The skirmish with the stone nin was well done, but really it was the kidnapping battle that rocked! Excellent work with Hinata and shino and K and Naruto's defense of them. The fight worked out great I only had 2 read it 2 times to get a good hold of it :) And excellent wrapup at the end! Cheers!!!!
Davideg posted a comment on Monday 14th August 2006 8:26pm