LoggingInSucksAss posted a comment on Monday 9th October 2006 7:32am

Are cajoling, begging and pleading messages okay? 'Cause I am so there, dude. :)

This chapter is the first fanfiction, ever, that I've read at work just because I couldn't wait until I got home to read it.

As always, this is basically everything I could ever want in a Naruto fic. And yeah, I wish new chapters appeared faster, but as long as they continue to appear at all, I will be here, cheering my head off.

Thanks!

liquidfyre posted a comment on Sunday 8th October 2006 9:13pm

*puts his spork away for now but lets you see the shiny sharpened spines on it first*

good chapter you are saved for now but update soon Please

OR ELSE

MUAHAHAHAHAAAA

AK posted a comment on Sunday 8th October 2006 2:41pm

Kurenai considered the girl for a moment. While she damned Hiashi for systematically destroying the girl’s sense of worth, his actions seem to have given her motivation to work harder, rather than just giving up. It was too bad her father was too stupid to see her stubborn determination and acknowledge it for what it was. "I appreciate your desire to improve, Hinata, but I don’t think the morning sessions with Gai would be much help to you. They are working on standard taijutsu forms, not Jyuuken. The styles are so different that you would be re-learning everything from step one. I also hate to mention this, but I think your father would have strong objections to you learning another style, at least for now."
-->
You said that in the third chappie I think, so um what will happen now?

Also I find that your characters are a bit too mature, they analyse the situations and always come to the right conclusions, or not always but too often.

Except for that, great chapter :)

Viridian replied:

Hello!

Looks like Kurenai doesn't always have all the answers, does she? Of course, there are other factors involved here as well - like Hinata isn't being trained in Goken so much as getting lots of practice using Jyuuken to  fight Goken Taijutsu users. And the extra time with people who value her can only help.

These genin have had several months of training under a very bright, determined, intellectual woman who is wholly committed to making sure that her students are as well-prepared as possible so they don't die like her old teammates did. That's the main reason Team-8 Naruto is nowhere near as stupid as he is in canon.  

That said, the things they are reasoning out at not rocket science. Naruto is still clueless about Hinata feelings for himself. Shino initially underestimated Naruto quite badly. Hinata can't objectively see her own worth. They have major blind spots, but their team helps them compensate.

And as for maturity, you do realize that they may be called on to commit what we would call cold-blooded murders, right? The Khmer Rouge has nothing on these kids. (Even in the canon, they often act more like 15-17 year olds than 12-13 year olds.)

 

Jeremy DuCharme posted a comment on Sunday 8th October 2006 2:04pm

[Naruto] wondered if Kurenai-sensei ever got tired of being right all the time

Shino’s statement was the equivalent, in Aburame terms, of shouting himself hoarse and setting all their houses on fire.

Hmm, something tells me Kurenai didn't see family trouble comming from the Aburame corner. OTOH since it appears the family has Vulcan like leanings it is possible that logic and first hand observations of a team mate will sway them without too drastic measures being needed. And is a bit of Naruto rubbing off on Shino here?

And I’m really glad you’re on my team, too. I can’t picture Ino or Sakura working as hard as you have.

Be interesting if instead of being impressed by the initial exchanges in the Sakura-Ino fight (if that still happens) this more experienced and trained Naruto is disparaging, making an offhand comment that Hinata could kick both their butts at the same time.

James6 posted a comment on Sunday 8th October 2006 12:54pm

Great chapter, i look forward for your next update. :)

Prince Charon posted a comment on Sunday 8th October 2006 9:44am

Interesting. Very, very interesting.

Thank you for posting it.

I look forward to reading the next one.

solembum91210 posted a comment on Sunday 8th October 2006 7:39am

I think your doin' a great job. It sounds great and I can't really think oof any constructive responses so yeah. Good Job.

Davideg posted a comment on Sunday 8th October 2006 6:29am

Fantastic chapter, thank you for the update I love this story it realy is a captivating one please update agin a.s.a.p.

Mayjest posted a comment on Sunday 8th October 2006 3:57am

Harsh words from Shino. Probably the most he's ever said in one go.

Croaker posted a comment on Sunday 8th October 2006 2:54am

Have to say I'm really enjoying this one. It's good to see some interestingly different turns taken on Naruto's situation, and I think you've nailed his teammates pretty solidly. And I really like seeing someone try to pull Hinata up out of the well of frustration she started in... that girl really needs a serious self-confidence boost. Good to see her getting one, and I'd love to see it continue.

dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Sunday 8th October 2006 1:03am

-He wondered if Kurenai-sensei ever got tired of being right all the time.

I like the way he thought that. For most people it would have been
sarcastic, but for him it seemed to be just honest curiosity.

-His team mates would have to have been extremely dense or self-centered
-for him to be able to conceal his differences for much longer.

Well, that did cover Sauske and Pinky. *grin*

-Hinata’s family sucked worse than cold ramen
I wonder how long it'll take before he points out that her family is
doing to her just about the same thing that psych-nin did to Naruto.
The parallels are already there.

Hinata is almost completely crippled by her upbringing. I'm wondering how
long it'll be before she refuses to come home. Will she develop her own
style for the use of her bloodline when she finally realizes what they
did to her? She's done very well with the weight she's carried. I expect
when it's removed she'll soar.

-"Send them my grades from the Academy, ojiasan Naruto said with a
-grin. "Let them know they were scared of the ‘dead last’ in his class."

That's not a bad idea really. They'd never suspect someone with those
grades to be related to the Fourth.

-There, he thought with some satisfaction, no way can she take that wrong.

Hehehe. Getting it right is almost as bad as getting it wrong
with her.

-"And if they refuse to ameliorate their attitudes?" Shibi asked.

-"I believe one of Uzumaki’s sayings comes to mind," Shino Shinoed.
-"We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it."

Hehehe. Too bad their earlier logic was based on rumor and speculation.
I think they'll come around now.

Excellent work.

KingDark posted a comment on Sunday 8th October 2006 12:11am

I LOVE the story, keep up the good work and let those chapter coming in! You have me hooked on this story.

I hope Shino kicks the elders asses and gets some revenge for naruto :p
the relation between naruto and hinata is progressing nicely, altough i would like to see naruto more aware of naruto, and his own feelings towards her!

Finally, next time his team has a confrontantinon with team seven, i hope they lose big time, somone needs a attidute adjust ment.
oh, and lastly, let sakura suffer oh yhea that cough 'person' doesnt deserve any less

Like i said, keep up the good work!

debru posted a comment on Saturday 7th October 2006 10:13pm

Hey Viridian..

Glad you got an other chapter finished. I just wanted to congratulate you on a really capturing and beleavable story, one of the most promising Naruto-Stoy in my opinion.

Thanks for your work, and I can't wait for more "reading-material".. ;-)
Greetz, Dennis

Mathew McCrillis posted a comment on Saturday 7th October 2006 7:42pm

Ahhh, delicious. Like a fine wine, savored over an excellent meal, your fiction just grows better with time.

Thank you for all your hard work!

Terry Swain posted a comment on Saturday 7th October 2006 5:42pm

Great chapter. very much enjoying your story. :)

Sanityfaerie posted a comment on Saturday 7th October 2006 5:24pm

Thank you, good sir.

Your approach to Hinata and Naruto/Hinata is priceless. WAFF! Angst! all curled together into this adorable little bundle. Love! Love, I say!

I am also really fond of the way you write Shino. I love how he can be absolutely scathing while doing nothing but making calm statements of fact, most of them about what he finds himself thinking. That little touch of implied "we are hyper-rational because when we get too emotional, the bugs get agitated" was also pretty cool.

To be fair, your Naruto is also excellent, but there are a lot of people who write him quite well, so it's not as big a deal. I do appreciate the fact that you've managed to avoid the call of Naruto Stu that sinks so many other authors.

I wish that I was skilled enough to give something in the way of helpful concrit, but your writing on this series is sufficiently far above my own abilities that I really just can't.

Blessings be upon you. You have my thanks.

the Sanity Faerie

scott2 posted a comment on Saturday 7th October 2006 4:44pm

great chapter and really looking forward to Shino verbally castrating his elders :)

silverstorm posted a comment on Saturday 7th October 2006 3:55pm

Great story. Thank you for your wonderful story.

aengus posted a comment on Saturday 7th October 2006 3:36pm

If you were a girl or if I was, I'd kiss you. I absolutely love your Naruto's fics, though you HP ones are good as well (I'll get my girlfriend to send you a kiss ;))

I can't wait for your next chapter so please update soon

Cheers
Aengus

Kail posted a comment on Saturday 7th October 2006 2:53pm

Sweet! Back in Konoha, and the story's still grabbing the reader.

Nit though - shouldn't Gai have been shown making a definitive point to Lee that the law forbade Lee from sharing what Naruto had just told him to anyone?

I like how you protray Shino there at the end of the chapter - logical, concise, and a quite coldly vicious biting tone when expressing his anger.

And now I fade back to watch for the next update. Til then!

Viridian replied:

The nit: He doesn't have to, because Naruto had to mention the law to tell his story. (That's what Mizuki was taunting him about, remember?) Gai might bring it up to Lee later, as a reminder, but Lee should already know.