By Viridian
Reviews
Z C posted a comment on Wednesday 9th May 2007 6:29pm
Thank you for a wonderful story. This was the first Naruto fanfiction I ever read, and it ranks up there as one of the very BEST Naruto fanfics I have ever read.
However, in keeping with the idea of this story being one of the best, I have run across an inconsistency. In the paragraph quoted below, Kiba refers to Zabuza getting 'sharinganed'. At this point in time, Naruto (and the others) do not know what the Sharingan is, especially as Naruto is not on Kakashi's and Sasuke's team. This was shown in the anime by Sakura and Naruto having the Sharingan explained by Sasuke. The easiest way to fix this is to add a few lines of dialogue, such as Naruto asking for clarification:
"Sharinganed?"
"Yeah, Kakashi used his Sharingan to defeat him."
"But, what's a Sharingan?"
"It's a doujustu (Eye Technique)...."Sakura nodded and Kiba continued his tale. "They were pretty tricky. We fought two on the way down, but they were punks. Me and Sasuke held them off and Kakashi nailed ‘em. Some losers called the Demon Brothers. But that eyebrow-less freak was tough. He fought Kakashi-sensei to a standstill until he got sharinganed. Then that kid showed up and acted like he’d killed him." He shrugged. "After he recovered, they came back and attacked Tazuna at the bridge." Kiba opened up his jacket and rapped his knuckles against the thick leather armor underneath. "If I hadn’t been wearing this, Haku’s senbon needles would have cut me to pieces."
Thank you for a wonderful story. I can't wait for the next chapter.
ZC
Theo posted a comment on Monday 23rd April 2007 10:05pm
Team 8 is a great story I have not seen a fanfic this good in a long time can't wait for the next one.
James13 posted a comment on Monday 9th April 2007 9:56pm
heh, no idea at all about naruto, never seen the manga or anime. So far so good. Might want to explain the jutsu's in english terms, at the end of the chapther though.
Jeremy DuCharme posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd April 2007 4:47am
After poking my nose into your yahoo group I was hit by an evil idea for a round three match up (prelim or finals) while rereading Chapter 4, Geniuses of Hard Work.
In it Naruto is thinking that if he ever had to fight Rock Lee for real he'd have to go totally defensive and try to wear 'bushy brows' down before he can land a decisive blow. Probably won't happen, but I immediately wondered what a Rock Lee vs Naruto Chuunin exam fight might look like.
Joe Fenton posted a comment on Sunday 1st April 2007 3:13pm
Yay! My favorite Naruto story continues. I started out reading this over at fanfiction.net, but when the same author posts there or here, I read it over here.
Anyway, I still love the balance of action and thinking in this story. Just as Naruto is learning to see underneath the underneath, we are getting a story that has something there for us as well. What's underneath most stories? Nothing at all. I'll take a story with a bit more meat on it any time. :)
Quizer posted a comment on Friday 30th March 2007 9:20pm
Great to see another update, another excellent chapter. I liked the visit at the Aburames, especially Misato. I loved her personality. It's great that Team 8 finally has some more allies. Hinata also seems to get closer to catching on what's wrong with her home life.
I also loved the tag game. Good stuff! The meeting with Gaara is kind of ominous, but it does give people a forewarning. I'm looking forward to see what will happen to him.
I also liked the interactions between the various members of the extended Rookie Nine. This is the first time we really have all of them together, and it allows for insights and developments in their personalities that couldn't happen previously. It looks like they did take the 'Teamwork of the Leaf' lesson to heart for the most part. I can't wait for the next chapter where the action begins!
I also liked the Omakes. Both are very well written, and while I agree that the general tone of the first one is closer to your style and it is very well done, but I actually think the ending of the second fits it even better. Also, the portrayal of the Inuzuka clan and their values is both interesting and humorous. I loved the line about 'smelling girls'. Good job, Omake-writers!
Quizer
Darksama posted a comment on Friday 30th March 2007 6:09am
Another wonderful chapter, full of growth for Team 8 as a whole and as individuals. I especially liked the dinner with the Aburame family and what their acceptance meant for Naruto. It was interesting to see Naruto following Hinata's lead. His encounter with Gaara was well done, setting up what is likely to be an incredible battle in the future. Really, you are doing a splendid job keeping to the storyline of Naruto while leading Team 8. Keep up the good work.
Aki posted a comment on Thursday 29th March 2007 11:20am
That was a lovely chapter. Love the contrast of Shino's parents. Naruto seems to think more here too. Not as blindly trusting of Kabuto. The part about Sakura thinking about her behaviour and reflecting on it was well done too. She really can't bulldoze her life through without thinking about others. Hope to see some follow up there. Thanks for writing and sharing!
Adrian R Brown posted a comment on Wednesday 28th March 2007 11:40pm
Another great chapter! This remains my favorite story, of any type, in all of fanfiction. Keep it up!
I loved the hint that you put in about Hinata's water affinity. Are the affinities going to come more into play after the preliminaries during the one month training period?
Finbar posted a comment on Wednesday 28th March 2007 8:03pm
Welcome Back! I did enjoy this chapter, so very much seems to be going on! Ya know, I do hope that Sakura will change after the Genin exams, assuming she survives. *smirks* After all, Orochimaru in the forest will be a LOT harder without Naruto. Kiba isnt good enough to take on a giant snake by himself. Also, without the emotional link of being on his team, Naruto cares about Sasuke a whole lot less, meaning Sasuke has less holding him there.
I like the way the conspiracy is slowly unveiling. It does make me wonder though if Hiashi is part of it or if he is a victim of the slander campaign. If so, how will he react to being made a fool of.
Hmmm, Me thinks Neji will be more wary of Naruto in the Final if you stay true to canon line-up. After all, he IS Gai trained.
anonymous5 posted a comment on Wednesday 28th March 2007 3:45pm
Brilliant. Thanks for posting the two shorts, as well - they were a blast to read. Again, this is the only exposure I've ever had to the Naruto universe; thank goodness highlighting & right-clicking "Search web for..." led to easy-to-read Wikipedia articles to get me caught up. :) Thanks for the update!
Prince Charon posted a comment on Wednesday 28th March 2007 11:53am
You're very good at this.
Nice to see Sakura, among others, getting some character development, given that she's not exactly central to the plot in this AU.
Thank you for the update.
More soon, please.
Jeremy DuCharme posted a comment on Wednesday 28th March 2007 11:19am
a brief postscript to my review. (always think of this after I hit the submit button, and no editing of the comments darn it!)
I love how the character's personalities come through their dialog. The dry and snarky Shinoisms ("Your alleged sense of humor leaves much to be desired"), Hinata's reflexive politeness ("Please stop" while threatening a sound nin with a devastating attack, the girl could stab someone and I can see her apologizing about making a mess), even Shikamaru's 'Everything is more trouble than it's worth' commentary. Having seen just the anime I can hear the character's voice actors speaking these lines.
Alan Salazar Slytherin posted a comment on Wednesday 28th March 2007 11:14am
YAY!!!!!!!!!! GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK IN ACTION!!! XD
I've missed seeing you update in here. Hope you are continuing your other fics in ff.net too! You are one of the few BEST well written authors that I have ran across in the last 5 years of reading facfics.
Hope things start getting better for you irl so that you may continue to write your incredible fics!
Looking forward to your next update(s)! PLZ KEEP WRITING!!! PLZ MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jeremy DuCharme posted a comment on Wednesday 28th March 2007 10:55am
Hmm, Kurenai's deflating of her team when she said she sponsored them for the Chuunin Exam, but didn't expect them to pass seems a bit off from her previous confidence building especially to Hinata. OTOH is she just trying to tell them that the odds are really stacked against them, and that she'll be proud at them placing well (like showing up the rest of the 'rookie nine'?) rather than having kill themselves to avoid 'disappointing' her by failing? Trying to avoid them going in and doing like what Lee did in the Team 7 canon when fighting Gaara?
Kurenai might find telling Naruto the odds the wrong thing to do in this case. ISTM that the best way to insure something is done in Konoha is to tell Naruto it can't be done, or he can't do it. Then stand back and watch him do it anyway. :)
The Aburame dinner was well done. Despite how much Naruto has flowered under Kurenai's tutelage it shows he still has serious issues and insecurities. Very nice and ego building for Hinata to step up and guide Naruto through the social dance. Keeps him from becoming a Gary Stu and killing the story. Somehow I think the Aburames, at least Shino's parents are now firmly on Naruto's growing list of 'precious people'.
BTW I like the background for Shino, but is this from the canon, or like Kurenai's background is this filling in a blank spot where nothing canon has been written, or part of the point of departure ripples?
The innocence and giddiness of the post dinner tag game made dropping into Gaara's attention even more threatening. Is it me or is Naruto grabbing the Kyuubi's chakra alot easier than in the Team 7 canon?
As for Hinata and the 'water thing' is that something like a lesser form of Negi's 'ultimate defense' from his fight with Naruto in the Team 7 third round? Something she didn't have the confidence to pull off before in the canon?
The pre-first round hurdles show how different this Naruto is over the Team 7 one. THough I half expected the recon oriented Team 8 to decide 'Doors? Ninjas don't need doors' and just back out and jump in through a third floor window instead. OTOH leaving the other teams to work out the trick for themselves go against Gai's Konoha nin watch each other's backs advice. Naruto warning off Lee, and instead of provoking the other genins by being clueless he does it to pump up Hinata's confidence and make sure attacks on his team would come at the combat specialist, him. Nice to see Shino seeing it as well and stepping up. Interesting that Kabuto is being viewed by Naruto as suspicious rather than a godsend. Though I'm not sure trading Orichimaru's attentions for Gaara's is much of a step up.
ARRRGHHH! This close, but we have to wait for the next part (and likely a two months at least) to see the meat of the Chuunin exams. Are they gonna be the same, only with differing details (like the round three matchups) or are they gonna be completely different? Though Gai's advice might get them into the Team 7 vs. Sound Three fight.
alex wise posted a comment on Wednesday 28th March 2007 10:50am
wow that was awesome hurry up and update please
Davideg posted a comment on Wednesday 28th March 2007 10:44am
thank you for this fantastic chapter please update again a.s.a.p.
lorddragonfire posted a comment on Wednesday 28th March 2007 10:20am
Excellent chapter. Though Im not fond of evil cliffhangers. May the muses bring the next chapter sooner rather than later. I absolutely love your version of naruto. Even better than canon.
Gullwhacker posted a comment on Wednesday 28th March 2007 9:06am
Well. I'd say that you win, personally. Friends to whom I've recommended this fic have described it as 'what canon should have been', and I concur. Naruto's little advice session with Lee was nice, some of Naruto's lines had me cheering him out loud, and Gaara...
...he was chilling, crazy, and awesome. I suppose a competent Naruto is more recognizable for the threat he is?
Oh, and Kiba is wonderfully obnoxious. Frankly, I like the way all the characters were written. I'd say I like all the characters, but some of them are well written people we love to hate.
All in all, I've enjoyed and hope to continue enjoying this fic. I look forward to it - and to more of "Out of the Darkness" once Team 8's adventures have concluded. I really need to review more often...
Ivy_Snowe posted a comment on Saturday 12th May 2007 4:58pm