By Viridian
Reviews
Crazy posted a comment on Tuesday 19th June 2007 2:52am
I did pick up the Matrix quote, but I can't believe it took me this long to get to recognizing it. Perfect and nicely humourous
Jay posted a comment on Monday 18th June 2007 2:52pm
Man... I think Ive read more of this than I have anything else in the past year... Im not quite sure which Naruto i like better team 7 or team 8... keep up the good work!
Jeremy DuCharme posted a comment on Monday 18th June 2007 11:14am
Just had a dialog idea inspired by Pirates of the Caribbean. When Capt. Jack pulls his pistol during a sword fight "That's cheating." To which he replied offhandedly "I'm a pirate."
Similar if another Shinobi (maybe one of the Rookie Nine) complains about Shino bug tagging him is 'cheating' he could give them his flat 'You're an idiot' look and reply "I'm a Shinobi."
Crazy posted a comment on Sunday 17th June 2007 3:59pm
I was just reading through the entirety of the fic (again) and i just noticed something. In "A Painfully Early Morning" you have Kurenai thinking about how she is going to turn Naruto into a diamond edged weapon, and earlier in the chapter when Kurenai was talking with the Sandaime, you said that "...we all know how benefitted most from such a tradgedy".
A couple of lines later;
"Is that an indication of innocence? Or cunning? It doesn’t matter. I have another team with someone on it who he would rather see in the ground. I’m not going to take any chances this time."
You also do say that Mattai was a Hyuuga, so I was wondering if Hiashi was the person who benefitted most. This also makes the near hatred of Hiashi by Kurenai totally understandable.
John posted a comment on Monday 11th June 2007 7:43am
Absolutely awesome. This story just keeps getting more and more awesome all the time. Please keep them coming!
Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Wednesday 6th June 2007 4:19am
Missed this bit before. Amused all over again, now:
"I can’t see anything you missed," she said quickly, as her attention drifted down to his weapon pouches and kunai holsters for a moment. She quickly spun away and her eyes went back to normal. Oddly, her cheeks were flaming again.
...I can just picture that happening. Particularly given where a shinobi keeps his or her weapon pouches...
It's a shame Shino was busy with his bugs. That was prime teasing material, gone to waste.
Prince Charon posted a comment on Monday 4th June 2007 8:21am
Nice! Very, very interesting. Good to see ninja using their brains.
Thank you for updating.
More soon, please.
Finbar posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 10:33pm
A fun chapter, though it seemed a bit slow for some reason. Maybe i'm just an action junkie or like fast paced stories:)
I really love this story, it's one of the best Naruto fic's i've read. That he has so much potential and all he needs is some acceptance and training to truely shine, is a great idea. I'd just like to see him learn some 'big gun' ranged techniques. Fire or Wind seem most likely. After all, his role a the 'Assault guy' on the team means he needs to be able to hit the enemy at a distance as well. Just an idea.
pyrodaemon posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 5:48pm
Whee! That was a long read, lol. I really liked not only this chapter but the entire story. (I'm afraid this is going to be rather lengthy but you don't mind do you? *wink*)
The way you built the characters to the script of 'Naruto' was wonderful. They were all in character until Kurenai got her little-or not so little-claws into them. Reading about the way people treated Naruto wants to make me jump up and scream 'foul'. But then you look and can, not really but still, understand how the people feel. Here's this boy who is, for all intents and purposes, unruly and wild. You can't know exactly how much of that is just rebellion and how much is actually the fox escaping.
On the other hand the way Hinata is treated, not only by her father but by her entire family, is just plain sickening. There is no excuse for them, if she's a failure, not that she is, but if she was then they should have found something she was good at and left her alone. I wanna slap her little sister across the face and tell her to respect her elders, lol, no matter how young she is. Please, please tell me your not going to have Hinata fail in the beginning of the fights. Please. Because that'll break my heart. If you still want her nasty cousin to be stronger than her or whatever then don't have them fight but please please don't make her fail to early on. She's stronger now than in the show and she's been training with Gai, Lee, and Naruto *and* wearing those weight band thingys.
I really like Shino's faced down his Clan elders. So what will happed to er...Bataru? Maybe Shino's dad will take his place. *grins* well one can hope, can we? I like the way you broke Shino from his childhood shell of 'my family is exactly how I see them' and allowed him to see who they really were. That was a very nice touch.
I like how Kurenai taking an interest in the three of them, or rather just Hinata and Naruto makes sure a drastic change in everything. I know that your plot came about from Kurenai's team being killed before Team 8 is even born but those two things have changed a get deal of things and its very interesting to wat-er read it all.
I think I've picked up on the hints you've given but correct me if I'm wrong. Is it Hinata's who ordered Kurenai's Team killed? And is he the one trying to run Naruto out of town? Uh...I just got a funny thought. Is he part of the mysterious group of people interested in Naruto? You've mentioned them a few times but haven't done anything with them. I'm guessing their part of the Anime and stuff.
I know someone said you should have Hinata fail early in the Exam but she really is stronger than she was in the anime and I really, really think she could beat her nasty cousin now. Boy I just can't get off that, can I? lol.
Are you going to make Sasuke into a missing-nin? He's a bastard anyways. I think the only person who'll miss him is Sakura.
Did I say I really liked this story? Right, well I do, if you couldn't tell from this overly long review. So I'm going to stop about now. lol. Can't wait to read the next chapter.
ShadeHawk posted a comment on Sunday 3rd June 2007 5:08am
Very nice chapter. Thanks a lot.
I have two remarks. First, I don't know if it was accidental or on purpose omission, but in the rules for first part of test, you start with 10 points and get negative points for wrong answers and being caught cheating. Nowhere it is said that you have to answer questions at all.
Second, I think that Kurenai in post-op for first part of test should also concentrate on the fact that Naruto has not thought about how to pass information from clones to him back.
Keep up good work.
--
ShadeHawk
Kelly posted a comment on Saturday 2nd June 2007 10:40pm
Woa
loved it!
I totally jumped for joy when I realized you posted ^_^!
Ben posted a comment on Saturday 2nd June 2007 6:37pm
As always, you deliver a spectacular chapter.
Kazdoare posted a comment on Saturday 2nd June 2007 4:10pm
I find this story to be one of the few that is really good and good flow of development in fanfiction dot net. the only thing that is any remotely complaint is the long time for updates, although its understandable for decent and well thought out plot and growth of the characters. I am really looking forward as how you will do the Uchiha retrieval as he doesn't have as deep of a relationship with either Sakura and especially Sasuke or how much easier he is going to have learning raseangan after learning the side affect of kage-bunshin and being more mentally mature.
eg posted a comment on Saturday 2nd June 2007 3:32pm
It's brilliant. Can't wait until the next one . No rush of course
Bobboky posted a comment on Saturday 2nd June 2007 3:01pm
good
Quizer posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 10:00pm
Priceless! Is that a blush behind that high collar of Shino's coat? :D
Loved the exam scene with the Kage Bunshin. Great way to have Naruto discover the 'hidden properties' of Kage Bunshin. For the observant Naruto of Kurenai's team it absolutely makes sense that he would stumble upon it sooner or later. When you think about how long he's been using them, this is actually 'later' already. The 'fire your ass' comment and the aftermath in the lounge were just priceless, too! :D Also, Naruto seems to have made an impression on Ibiki, which can hardly be a bad thing.
Great work on the Kurenai/Hinata scene. She really needed that hug! :) The conspiration talk should also have interesting results. If anything, Hinata's devotion to Naruto just became even stronger. It is also another large step for Hinata away from her father. The fact that Kurenai praised her for concealing things from him should not be insignificant to her.
Naruto teasing Hinata is great fun, too! I really liked that scene. Keep it up!
Now I'm really looking forward to the next chapter in the forest of death!
Quizer
Aki posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 7:31pm
Now I really can't wait for the next episode! Naruto's idea was quite ingenious and showed his growth under Kurenai's tutelage. And Shino too! That sneaky bastard! Want to jump up and dance around my chair but I'll restrain myself. Will be waiting anxiously for the next update.
Jon posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 6:09pm
clever way of learning Kage bushin! Good plot!
Davideg posted a comment on Friday 1st June 2007 5:27pm
thank you for another absolutely fantastic chapter please update again as soon as life allows
Momma Lici posted a comment on Thursday 21st June 2007 5:56pm