By Viridian
Reviews
Greg Johnson posted a comment on Wednesday 26th December 2007 12:13pm
Another great chapter! I am very happy you decided to not cut it off when you wanted to. So thanks for that! :-) Keep up the good work.
Jeremy DuCharme posted a comment on Wednesday 26th December 2007 6:00am
Just had a thought. Did Kurenai manage to set up the 'bets' with her fellow Leaf jounin over who's team would do better, go father, and/or advance the most gennin to chuunin that she was contemplating a few chapters back? And if so were her proposed forfeits agreed to?
In that case Kakashi won't have the next month to spend reading Icha Icha, his team is out, so he loses. I guess Team 7 can look forward to some advance torture, er training, as he takes his frustration out on them on the training grounds.
Harry James posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 11:17pm
PS. Sasuke not making everyone wait is a VERY good reason that the finals actually make it to the second round!!! ^_^
Harry James posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 10:56pm
Another excellent installment! I was a little turned off by an Uchiha vs Uzumaki fight happening so soon, but the conclusion was rather hilarious. I think you just made a very good reason he will hate Naruto and want to challenge him again.
I'm a little worried about how the Gaara situation will work. The reason invading Konoha was so easy was due to the populous' desire to see the last Uchiha match up against Gaara. That not happening means a more difficult time for the Snake Sannin to get his people in without conspicuous attention, not to mention that Gaara might kill his "lesser than Uchiha" skilled opponent. Naruto could set off his blood lust due to the previous encounters, but that would be his second round fight. That also means that Kakashi won't run Sasuke into the ground with his chidori training, but rather, he would push Kakashi to train him to beat Naruto for a reason Kakashi may deem unimportant.
Once again, great work. I can't wait for the next one. Chouji, Naruto, Temari, Kankurou, Gaara, Shino, Neji, and Shikamaru are all that's left. Naruto vs Neji is up. Just a tip, but Kankurou surrenders in the next round, so him against Gaara first round may be good, because he may kill anyone else.
Much kudos and luck for your writing. Respond if you can.
HJ
ShadeHawk posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 10:48pm
So, for once, Uzumaki Naruto decided to keep his mouth shut.
OoOoO
Sitting in an office elsewhere in the tower updating the list of remaining participants, Umino Iruka suddenly stiffened as all the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He didn’t know what was causing it, but he instinctively knew that a massive violation of the natural order was occurring. He suspiciously peered around, even looking under his desk, but he couldn’t find anything to explain that uneasy feeling.
Controlling his shudders of dread, the chuunin sat back down and double-checked the list again.
ROTFLMAO!!!
Infin1x posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 8:16pm
A very cine way to do the preliminary matches. Show the significant one and gloss over the stuff that is majorly canon. I especially liked Sasuke losing to Naruto before he even gets to the Third Exam and losing in one move even. For some reason I highly doubt that Emoduck is going to accept that. I almost wish that Naruto hadn't missed with that punch aimed at Orochimaru and that it had even killed him because so few people are willing to kill off major bad guys before they get to their canon plots.
Joe Fenton posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 7:02pm
Another great chapter. Some things changed, and some didn't. I'm sure you'll get some complaints about Sasuke, but not from me. :) It really makes sense, though. Sasuke hasn't done the training with Kakashi to get faster yet (it'll be interesting to see what training he DOES do now), while Naruto left his weights behind and had a really BIG incentive to end things quickly. That was a clever way to handle it. Good job!
infinity2x0 posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 5:26pm
I love it I love it I LOVE IT. I can't wait for the next chapter, whenever that may be. I hope Neji gets the near life beaten out of him while he learns not to mess with Naruto or Hinata again. I'd hate for Neji to pick on Naruto about his academy grades and/or his relationship with Hinata and then have Naruto knock him out with one punch. I'd like to see him suffer a bit while Naruto eventually overpowers him. On the plus side, Naruto and Hinata are starting to wise up about their feelings and thats a step in the right direction, just don't make it too easy please?
Jizzle posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 5:15pm
Oh crap, I forgot to mention how much I loved the Shino vs. Kiba match in my ramblings! Seriously, Shino is my favorite ninja in canon. He doesn't get nearly enough love, and while the Vulcanesque Aburame though me a bit at first, you totally make it work and Shino portrayed as the calculating, creepy badass he absolutely is. Thank you for that.
Also, Shino spoke loudly! Dear god that hit home and made my mixture of worry and rage shift completely to worry for Hinata.
Sorry for the double review thing.
Jizzle posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 5:10pm
Merry Christmas authorlord! I hope you're having a good one, and thank you so much for this wonderful chapter. For me, it was a great end to a good Christmas.
I just need to get out of the way how friggin' happy Naruto's fight made me. I'd usually try to convey my thoughts on the chapter's events going from the beginning to the end, but the massive amount of pure, unadulturate joy thatSasuke having his ass handed to him on an orange, pissed off Jinchuriki platter brought me must be mentioned immediately. Thank you. Thank you so much.
While I'm thinking about the end of the chapter, I loved Kurenai at the end. Being underestimated is such a part of Naruto, and the subtle way you showed (not telling at all) that Kurenai had massively underestimated her star (in my opinion) pupil made me very happy. I wonder what her reaction is going to be when she finds out how unbelievably (awesomely) one sided it was.
Going back to the beginning of the chapter, I absolutely loved the multiple moments of Naruto brilliance and stupidity in this chapter. When it comes to problems of thinking and social interaction, your Naruto succeeds and fails exactly like I want to see.
His amazing, under appreciated off the wall, out of the box tactical thinking is present in this chapter full force. It's one of my favorite parts of canon!Naruto, and Kurenai has done nothing but hone it further in this story. The clone diversions, the trickery to get Sasuke help, his part in the battle with the genin team, they were all spot on. I actually cheered.
The social weakness I like is his obliviousness to the feelings of others at times. It's only sensible given his upbringing, or lack thereof, and it's absolutely adorable when it results in him spinning Hinata around by the shoulders doing a happy dance. I think I literally did a happy little clap at that scene.
His stupid impatience, a weakness I hate, was shown severely ameliorated by Kurenai's efforts at least once in this chapter when he held his tongue. Thank you for that. Also, the Iruka feeling a disturbance in the natural order was hilarious on its own and as (I assume) a sort of tongue in cheek allusion to the ridiculous premonitions people get in canon.
This sort of brings up one of the many qualities that make this story my favorite fanfic ever. You stay very true the spirit and essence of both canon and the characters while weaving an original, thoroughly engrossing story all you own. Well, at least you stay true to the parts of canon that aren't total crap.
Prelims were very well done. Shikamaru's "Shit." upon hearing Chouji being called fat was hilarious. I liked that you kept some matches the same. Naruto's failure to pick up on the high level strategy (not tactics!) that made Tenten's defeat inevitable was great. It was also good to see Shikamaru being such a friggin' pimp. Given how he's absolutely chuunin level, this makes complete sense.
And then there Hinata vs. Neji. I'd like to start by saying that I was right there with Naruto in wanting to rip out the bastard's throat. Fucker. So good job with the making me so furious at a fictional character that I was actually frustrated that I could not reach though my lap top and the words you wrote to kill said fictional character.
But it was a great fight. Your Hinata did exactly what I thought she would. I don't know if I would have told you Hinata would lose, but that's only because a huge portion of my heart yearned to see Neji disemboweled by his sweet little cousin. Ah well, I guess that's what the fic Overlord is for.
Shino's line about buying flower's for Neji's funeral was classic. Of course, I don't think Naruto's actually going to kill Neji. Sure, I don't expect Neji to have, say, limbs or some of the less necessary internal organs (you don't need all your liver) when Naruto's through with him, but he'll have his life. Neji doesn't deserve to fight Naruto to the death. To the pain, however, is another matter entirely.
I was thinking about scrolling through the story and just writing down all the lines and moments that made me happy which I have mentioned yet. Then I realized that I didn't want to double the length of this probably already overly long review.
So instead let me apologize for not pointing out anything that I didn't like or I thought could have been better. That's sort of what constructive criticism is about, and since I hear that's helpful to authorlords like yourself, I really want to give it to you in exchange for the wondrous story you've given me and all the other people reading this. But I can't.
See, I assume you're human and so there are imperfections there. So my inability to deliver can't lie on your end. Rather, it's just that the massive amounts of happiness flooding my system after reading this chapter sort of blot out any that might be there. Your betas must be made of sterner stuff than me, or the happy power must just be less before they're done betaing. Either way, a hearty thanks to them as well.
In the end then, I can only offer effusive praise. I hope it's good enough, and merry Christmas.
Prince Charon posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 4:49pm
Forgot to say: I like how Sakura technically did the best out of her team - she tied, but her teammates both lost. I wonder if she and Ino were conscious to see Sasuke get humiliated. Emo-bitch is going to want a rematch, methinks.
Michael Foerster posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 4:45pm
Again, well worth the wait! Thanks for the nice present.
Prince Charon posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 4:32pm
Interesting. Neji will learn a new meaning of pain, methinks.
Thank you for updating.
More soon, please.
Crazy posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 2:13pm
"I’m going to ask the Hokage if he can give me any more information on the seal, or a means to contact someone who can tell us more. I want you to be equally cautious when dealing with your… prisoner. Don’t take anything it says at face value."
This seems to be a perfect way to get Jiraiya in contact with Team 8, if you were planning to do so. I can just imagine the problems that would come up between Kurenai and Jiraiya though.
Seeing Shino fight against Kiba was cool. He doesn't get enough show time in almost any fanfiction.
Naruto Vs. Sasuke.... Damn near perfect.... I laughed so much... I don't like Sasuke.
Hinata vs. Neji was also another refreshing change from canon and fanfic. Having her fight well against a superior Hyuuga fighter, and using Goken was just very nice, and still having the determination to stand up after those hits... :). I imagine Kawarimi would be something that Naruto will start to get very good at, if it has no major effects to the person it is transferring with. Naruto would do anything to protect H,S and K, so that may be something he tries to get to a fine art.
Chouji winning was COOL! I know that he didn't take it (the injuring) well, but so many people just discard Chouji as a secondary character and just make him lose because they can't be bothered to put the effort in.
Shikamaru, well, same as always, eh? And he may start to pick up on Naruto's secret soon. He does have a high IQ, but I was always a little surprised that nothing was said in canon after Shika and Naruto stop Gaara from killing Lee in the hospital. "I've got a monster inside me" and my birthday is on record. Either Shika doesn't care, or worked it out and just didn't say anything.
Liking all your fanfics as normal
See ya,
Crazy
inDe_eD posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 1:30pm
Few things are as satisfying as seeing one as arrogant as the Uchiha being laid out in one blow. Naruto certainly was channeling Lee and Gai there, green blur and all.
It struck me as weird how Kurenai automatically assumed Naruto lost against Sasuke. One would think she would have more faith in her student by now, even against a so-called prodigy. Naruto's phrasing does help that misconception though: "I fought Sasuke" as opposed to "I beat Sasuke". It did serve to emphasize how Naruto was more concerned for Hinata than about himself though, relegating his own victory to that of a mere afterfought.
I'm curious as to what, if any, repurcussions may arise from Kyuubi flooding Naruto with his own chakra in order to get rid of the cursed seal. If he sprouts foxy ears/tails I'm going to cry tears of bitterness though.
Thanks for another excellent, lengthy chapter. A wonderful Christmas present to us unworthy readers.
Happy Holidays.
jgkitarel posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 12:47pm
You know, I was so hoping that Hinata would give Neji a lesson in humility. Oh well, I'll settle for Naruto giving him a lesson in pain instead.
Having Choji flatten Yoroi was nice, and Shino's question on what flowers to send to Neji's funeral was a definite plus.
As for Naruto taking Sasuke out in one shot, well, that serves the bastard right.
Jeremy DuCharme posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 12:38pm
Hmm, acid clones, nasty idea. Is that canon or something of your own? And it speaks well at how trained, and how far above their 'weight class' Team 8 is used to punching if they find dueling with a chuunin candidate gennin team a light work out. :)
And Naruto's pranking days come back for the final run into the tower. Who cares how LOUD the entry is if no one can tell where exactly you are till after you are 'safe'.
Did that medic find something 'off' about Naruto's chakra coils? Evidence of strain like finding healed breaks on an X-ray?
On to The Matches. ISTM that the loss of the sound Nins (by my count, 15 Leaf, 3 Sand to start the party, less Kabuto) shook the order up.
Chouji got a favorable match up, though I guess that this was his first time in a serious fight, as in if in the field it would kill or be killed? He seemed to be taking how badly he hurt Mr. Chakra Leach hard.
Temari-Tenten. Did this completely follow canon? Because I missed the mention of Temari trying to dump an unconscious Tenten onto her own scattered arsenal.
Shino-Kiba. Shino is the master of the bored insult. "My Teammate gives me a harder time in sparing matches." And I guess all that time working in the basement included blindfighting skills, or is his bug scent tracking good enough to follow the still bugtaged Kiba in the smoke? He didn't get off scott free, but it's a toss up if Kiba or Sakura did better. Sakura managed a draw, but Kiba almost certainly drew a harder opponent.
Shikamaru vs. Rubbernin. Different opponent, same strategy. He lazy because he does it right the FIRST time. :)
The Hyuuga grudge match. Same eventual outcome but Hinata came off better looking during it, and Neji looked more brutal about his beating his cousin. I suspect this Naruto will only agree to leave Neji breathing, maybe. Shino asking what flowers to send to Neji's near future funeral was a nice touch.
Kurenai showed that a Genjustu mistress must have a good grounding in psychology as she pushes all of Naruto's buttons to get him back to fight his round. And somehow I doubt Kakashi and Sasuke would thank her for pressing them that hard. (Want to legally kill Neji for what he did, Naruto? Get into the finals.)
Sakura vs. Ino. I'm guessing that it went mostly to canon, with the slightly tougher, more self confidant Sakura breaking Ino's hold without Naruto's support? Hmm, who on Team 7 can say they did better? Kiba drew a tougher opponent, but he's more battle oriented as well, and Sakura at least made sure her opponent didn't pass either.
Naruto vs. Sasuke. Where in the Uchiha learns an important lesson, do not taunt the Happy Fun Kyuubi Jinchuuriki! :)
Now Ibiki to sum up the match...
"This is Konoha's Number One Prankster" *picture of academy graduation Naruto, orange jumpsuit and all* "This is Konoha's Number One Prankster pissed off and not fooling around" *picture of Team 8 Naruto, his fist extended in a punch. Around that fist is the deforming face of Sasuke Uchiha, his feet off the ground as he briefly experiences manned flight*
"Any Questions?!"
Man, Kakashi is gonna have plenty of Icha Icha reading time over the next month, in between bouts of torturing, er training his gennin to correct their mistakes during the exam prelims. And Orchimaru is gonna have to rejiggle his plans with Sasuke not advancing, for starters no late arrival of Sasuke (and the favoritism that was shown when anyone else *cough*Naruto*cough* who wasn't in the arena when the match was called would have immediately forfeited) then the invasion happens quicker.
And how will Konoha react at their precious Uchiha being eliminated so fast and brutally? He seemed to be a big draw for the locals during the finals in the canon. Will Naruto take his place as the Great Rookie Hope, or as the villain they want to see defeated for 'taking' Sasuke's place?
Kurenai however must be looking golden as a Jounin sensi, both she and Asuma put two of their gennin into the finals, a total only exceeded by the Sand Siblings, and she arguably did it with lower grade materials. Or at least it looks that way on paper and from academy scores. Though it is interesting that she assumed Naruto lost, was it just the words he chose and his worry for Hinata that made her assume he did, or did he surprise even her? And her (and Iruka's) response to how he defeated the former number one Academy Rookie should be good, something about 'there's the classroom, and then there's field work, and the later scores are the ones that really matter'.
Hmm, Kurenai isn't likely to pawn off either gennin for the month training for the finals, though with Shino's family training I can see her letting Jiraya(sp?) in to supplement Naruto's training, especially since the questions about the Kyuubi's seal give him a perfect opening. Since she already taught him water walking the bath house meeting isn't likely to be.
And what are the other final matchups? If we keep close to the canon then besides Naruto-Neji, that would make it Kankuro (who no one's seen in action) vs. Shino, Shikamaru vs. Temari, and Chouji as the poor sap that drew Gaara first. From the best matchup to the worse, unless some other poor bastard got the psycho-coon first. If it's either of his siblings they'd drop out in a heartbeat, but OTOH it's three Leaf to two Sand once Naruto and Neji are taken out. And which winners pair off for round two, ie which side of the bracket is Gaara on? To face off against Naruto (if we get that far) in the second round, or would both have to go to the final match to meet?
Jon posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 11:49am
I wonder if Kurenai's surprised expression lies from the fact that Naruto won the match or the fact that he was fighting Neji the next round.... All the same, kudos for making Shikamaru's match a super sneaky and not-so-troublesome match =p
Trscroggs posted a comment on Tuesday 25th December 2007 11:47am
Thank you very much, this is a lovely Xmas present. I enjoyed this chapter very much. I espetially enjoyed Naruto's teamates recations to his strategic thinking. AND you managed to save Lee, more or less, his intervention may change how the invasion battles play out. As if having Sauske out of the fight wouldn't do that already.
Michael Beck posted a comment on Wednesday 26th December 2007 3:16pm