By Viridian
Reviews
vernum posted a comment on Sunday 13th January 2008 3:56am
great chapter as always!
patiently waiting for more
Jizzle posted a comment on Thursday 10th January 2008 8:03pm
I was reading this story for the fourth or fifth time, and I couldn't help but notice Naruto using the word 'ohayo' in a terribly inappropriate place. I hate to sound like a nitpicker or something, but I was admiring how spot on and awesome your injection of Japanese into the story was that this completely wrong one really through me. 'Ohayo' means good morning. Literally, though, it's really politely noting that it's early. It wouldn't even be used late in the morning, so it being said at dinnertime is just bizarre.
James13 posted a comment on Wednesday 9th January 2008 5:20pm
Like I said before, I so rarely find a well written and engrossing Naruto fic, espcially one that has such good characterization.
In the core of his happy go lucky, prankster persona, Naruto does have a streak of a crusader in him.
It's that streak of pure goodness which compels him to attain the honor and resposibility of Hokage, even with all the misfortune heaped upon him during his youth.
It's easily argued that a normal person would have turned for the worse in that kind of situation, even without a nine tailed kitsune demon no doubt whispering in the back of his mind.
I look foward to the next chapter, and yes you were right about the potential mayhem that would have errupted with your decision to stop at the match announcement between Naruto and Sasuke.
dogbrother4 posted a comment on Monday 7th January 2008 5:20pm
Excellent Story!! I have greatly enjoyed reading it. I was re-reading and notice this:
Naruto gave him a jaunty wave, guessing he’d figured out where the pulse had come from. Too bad his Byakugan hadn’t been on so it could have blinded him for a bit. Hinata’s cousin was way too arrogant for his own good.
I was wondering if Naruto could constantly release a series of chakra pulses capable of blinding the Byakugan. This would remove the ability of the Hyuugas to close tenketsu points. It would possibly affect other abilities related to the Byakugan.
Dogbrother4
Manatheron posted a comment on Monday 7th January 2008 6:31am
Excellent job, the fights were entertaining, and the by-play was excellent. I can't help but wonder however wether or not naruto is going to tell the jounin's what neji's attack did to him. Granted Kyuubi kept it from being fatal, but as badly as Hinata was physically injured there is a high probibility that her body would not have recovered from it even as slowly as it did in cannon. Excellent work!
dogbrother4 posted a comment on Saturday 5th January 2008 7:49pm
Excellent Story!! I have greatly enjoyed reading it. I was re-reading and notice this:
Naruto gave him a jaunty wave, guessing he’d figured out where the pulse had come from. Too bad his Byakugan hadn’t been on so it could have blinded him for a bit. Hinata’s cousin was way too arrogant for his own good.
I was wondering if Naruto could constantly release chakra pulse capable of blinding the Byakugan. This would remove the ability of the Hyuugas to close tenketsu points. It would possibly affect other abilities related to the Byakugan.
Dogbrother4
dogbrother4@yahoo.com
Decumo9 posted a comment on Friday 4th January 2008 5:59pm
i really did expect a huge naruto vs sasuke fight, one that would be a legendary, yet i find that your simplistic way of making naruto win and sasuke look foolish was far superior to some ten page fight. good job!
dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Friday 4th January 2008 2:21am
LOL! Loved Sasuke's match. Not really surprised it ended that way. He had way too much ego to see reality.
Loved the ending. There are just too many ways to screw with someone who's abilities require sight in all directions to use.
rex1yujie posted a comment on Thursday 3rd January 2008 8:32am
this chapter is really good. this is defintily one of the best naruto fanfics i have read. second only to two halves. i hope u can update soon. i cant wait to find out wat happens next =)
Adrian R Brown posted a comment on Thursday 3rd January 2008 2:55am
Great chapter! Very pleasant surprise to come back from vacation to find. I'd commented before, wondering how you were going to work Jaraiya (sp?) in with Naruto actually having an attentive teacher in this AU. However you dropped some hints in this chapter that opened the doors for how you would end up bringing him in to give Naruto some instruction. Nicely done! Can't wait for the next one.
yackman posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd January 2008 12:24pm
I'm loving this story! Enough differences to be not just another chunin exam fic...
<pats author on the back>
Consider yourself praised...
rex1yujie posted a comment on Monday 31st December 2007 3:09am
Hum i doulbt a border patrol between earth and fire country would be a c rank mission... since the two countrys are still hostile, possible ninja encounters would acure. making this a b rank mission. The story is really good. i like how u kept the charactots n charactor. the flow of the story is great and the events believeable. u kept out cishaed stuff so the story is really one of a kind. i really enjoyed reading this fanfic.
Giringiro posted a comment on Sunday 30th December 2007 5:40am
This was astounding as usual. I hope you don't mind the fact that I review sparsely... Should I remind everyone of how flawless this story is, every time you update? It would constitute a sort of spamming...
Shikamaru and Chouji's fights were the best ones. They're not much into the story yet, but I see why you would include Chouji and Shikamaru's fight instead of glossing over them. I think they must be fun characters to write.
Are Kurenai and Asuma close in this AU? I'm guessing Kurenai's tragic past might have kept her a loner until this point.
I'd also like to spend a word saying I can't wait until you get to Jiraya (assuming you're going to use him for training against Neji of course).
I care very little for canon's second arc, but at least the latest offering gave substance to Jiraya's whimsical characterization, making him a sort of character I can't help but root for (frankly, he's an older Naruto).
That said, I know I'll thoroughly enjoy your fiction anyway. Thanks!
rex1yujie posted a comment on Saturday 29th December 2007 10:29am
very good first chapter. the story was well written and flows well. a absolute master piece. keep up the good work ^^
rathvander posted a comment on Friday 28th December 2007 12:23pm
Shino's dialogue just takes the cake. Delivered with such underwhelmingly overwhelming intensity tis grand.
Oh and the one hit KO of Sasuke was rather nice as well.
Thanks for the read.
Oh and glad you didn't decide to stop ^_^.
zagan posted a comment on Friday 28th December 2007 9:47am
I possitively love it, best chritsmas gift ever.
So Hinata still lose, I admit I was expecting it, while she's much better than in canon, neji is still a very powerful ninja. Perhaps she could have won if she remove her weigth before the figth and use a killing blow as a first move, that could have work. But of course she wasn't willing to kill him, and for the story she need to lose to motivate Naruto. Naruto "fight" with sasuke was just perfect, I hope you will show us kakashi reaction, sakura and ino migth be fun too.
I hope the next come soon, two monts perhaps ?
Rasmus Johansen posted a comment on Friday 28th December 2007 4:57am
Keep up the good work, i'm anxiously awaiting the next excellent installment of this story
Quizer posted a comment on Thursday 27th December 2007 4:11am
Ouch... I don't envy Neji. He's badly matched against someone who can shrug off Jyuuken blows, and the canon Naruto already cleaned his clock pretty good. It's going to be fun to see what a thoroughly pissed-off Team 8 Naruto will do to him.
Loved the 'match' against Sasuke. Emo boy miscalculated rather badly and it cost him. I wonder what this crushing defeat will do to his superiority complex. There are few ways to better drive home the point that he isn't as hot as he thinks he is.
I only realized Kurenai thought Naruto lost the match when reading the group responses and checking back. Perhaps a bit too subtle. Or I just didn't pay enough attention, since it is there.
Loved Shino's 'flower/funeral' comment. Very descriptive, and very apt, too. I could absolutely see Naruto do it, possibly only backing down when Hinata begs him to spare her cousin. Maybe owing his life to her would put things into perspective for Hyuuga Neji.
You took me off guard with Naruto's deception at the beginning. I was already growing disappointed in you as a writer, thinking 'that usually isn't Matt's style', but I'm ashamed to say I didn't question it more thoroughly than that.
That bit with the medic nin was strange. The reason for his surprise (respect even?) was Naruto's 'Curse seal, whoop-de-doo' response, right?
I liked that bit where Naruto swung Hinata around. It was one more small misunderstanding between them regarding their feelings/motivations. One of these days Naruto ought to have assembled enough dots to connect some more of them.
The other fights were also very interesting. Can't wait to see the next part, where Naruto kicks Neji's ass. Or will that have to wait for the chapter after next, since there's a month of space before that?
Quizer
ShadeHawk posted a comment on Thursday 27th December 2007 12:20am
Few thoughts after reading [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naruto]Naruto article at Wikipedia[/url] to know what is in original plot.
About Death Forest: Water jutsu (well, acid jutsu) without body of water nearby by the genin team?
About Naruto seal: I wonder why Orochimaru didn't try to seal the demon fox's chakra, rendering Naruto unconscious (although I wonder why: Naruto can use his own chakra reserver (blue chakra), which should also be quite large doe to having chakra pathways widened by Kyubi chakra). And what are the differences between seals used on Gaara and on Naruto.
About cursed seal: On one hand Sasuke fought two long battles less where there was strong temptation to use Cursed Seal (against Yoroi and against Gaara), on the other he killed engulfed in Orochimaru's cursed seal. Anko has inactive cursed seal; perhaps that would help... if she remembers it in this story arc of course.
About exam: Do I understand correctly that third of Sand team (Kankuro) didn't have to fight because with Ino and Sakura knocking themselves out there was enough place for finals, and as his fight was scheduled last it was he that didn't have to fight (and his opponent of course)? Because teams were dissolved, and two of his teammates winning should matter none.
Did Rock Lee open to 5th gate as in original, or just 1st as shown to Naruto during training? I hope he didn't get crippled like in original... Do I understand correctly that he fought using Goken (and Lotus), and not Drunken Fist, as he would have no time to master new style?
Hmmm... I do wonder who would fight against Gaara in the third round. If it would be Shikamaru, wouldn't Gaara be suprised and annoyed if Shika, after thinking a bit before match or at the match beginning, wouldn't forfeit the match?
How would Naruto train to fight against Neji? Would Neji train to fight against Naruto or is he too arrogant?
About invasion: If Naruto realizes soon enough that arena is being put under sleep jutsu (it is genjutsu, isn't it?), and can resist it long enough, I do wonder how this sleep jutsu would fare against Chakra Pulse technique. This one event (Naruto learning this jutsu) can change a lot, I think. As insects according to lore are immune to genjutsu, and Aburame Shino is Naruto teamate (I guess that Hinata could be still weak or even in hospital in a month)... But pehaps invasion plans would get discovered earlier?
Ideas for jutsus use: The Kage Bunshin (together with Henge) can be used for spying, as one didn't have to worry about being caught (just dispell clone) or having to return with information (most difficult part). I wonder if clones can use Kawarimi to work as kind of rescue squad (enhancing the idea of one of reviewers that Naruto can use substiturion technique more to get his teammates out of tight spots, like with Hinata during preliminary rounds). Perhaps Naruto should learn to call Kyubi chakra without need for either near-death experience or rage... Hinata could help with that, just like with water walking jutsu.
Viridian replied:
Not large amounts of water needed, and in middle of forest.
Orochiamru never really got a chance to hold him still for a minute to do it, Naruto wasn't using the fox chakra that much until the end, and once he did, using the seal to explode him seemed more fun for Orochimaru.
Gaara's seal is definitely second rate, given the side effects.
No fresh contenders left for Kankuro to fight, so he got the "Bye". Luck plays a role in the exams as well.
Lee's endurance was higher, so his muscles and bones didn't tear. Gai had also been warned by Kurenai that Gaara was a psycho, so pulled Lee out of the fight before Gaara could cripple him.
Mordre posted a comment on Sunday 20th January 2008 8:00pm