Darkflame posted a comment on Tuesday 8th April 2008 2:09am

Yet again another great chapter, but there is one thing that I have been wondering about since the prelims. Considering how one of the main functions of the weights is to help increase speed and you need speed in order to be more effective with the Jyuuken why was that Hinata waited until after she had her tenketsu sealed to remove them? In your mind was it because she was trying to keep back a secret weapon or for some other reason?

Viridian replied:

She didn't want word of them to get back to her father. Yes, it was a bad call on her part. She still doesn't think quite straight where he is concerned.

Tommy posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 8:35pm

Nice! I'm also quite pleased that you're not making Sasuke a Mary-Sue, like the manga/anime keep doing. I'm always annoyed when Naruto's victories are proclaimed "miracles", while Sasuke's are explained with his "skill and abilities". Anyway, babbling aside, I enjoyed the chapter. Make him kick Neji's ass next time! ;)

May The Words Be With You!

Tommy L.
aka
Fanfix

stormmaster posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 8:02pm

I must confess that I do not leave reviews about individual chapters frequently. I know, I know, I should. I prefer to wait to see where the author is going before commenting. This story is one of the few exceptions to that. I love the chapter. I love the setup for the next chapter. Even the fluff was meaningful to the overall story and character development.

But I felt cheated. The chapter felt too short, felt like it was more of a half chapter than a full one. The pacing of the chapters feels off, but I'm nitpicking. The quality of the story is superb, and I look forward to every new chapter with great anticipation. I actually prefer your world to canon.

The bottom line: Short, but good chapter; keep up the good work.

Viridian replied:

What are you talking about?

This chapter ranked #6 in length out of the 15 chapters so far, at 11597 words. It definitely wasn't 'half-sized'. Are you sure your web page loaded completely?

 

 

Mad Ant posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 7:42pm

YOSH !!!
I like the story. Looking forward to how it develops.

nuclear death frog posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 7:19pm

There is nothing technically wrong with this chapter. I might have seen one or two typos but I'm not entirely certain at this hour. It's past 4am and I need sleep.

The WAFF is cute and fuzzy and expected. Kurenai's reaction was an unpredicted but well-done twist. How Naruto reacted to it was also well-done.

Neji is predictably an ass. He was an ass until Naruto beat him to a pulp in canon, so an ass he must be here. Nothing wrong, in other words.

While I might have liked to see more reaction to Sasuke's defeat, I'm comfortable with it taking a backseat to the content of this chapter. In any event, Sarutobi's reaction to his villagers' idiocy is well-done.

I cannot find any real fault with this chapter. It is a welcome addition to this story.

The problem I am having is that the series this story is related to is so repugnant to me these days that I find it very difficult to care very much. When Aaron Nowack completed "One Hundred Days" recently, another story I liked, I gave an enthusiastic review, but I was also relieved because that story's completion removed a reason for me to care about the fandom.

I have nothing against the author of this story , and I have nothing against this story itself. But the setting...god help me, but I really just want to rage sometimes and I know there is absolutely no point.

Thanks.

Viridian replied:

If you like this interpretation better, then don't worry about where the canon is going.

Seriously.

It's a free country.

Do what makes you happy. There is no obligation to follow that canon storyline if it makes you upset. Just enjoy the fanfictions that go where you think the author should have.

Ronnie McMains posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 7:01pm

I believe Kurenai was incorrect; Shino did not make a public death threat against Neji. He was simply pointing out that, given his knowledge of both his teammates, Naruto was going to make sure Neji never hurt Hinata again, by any means necessary (Also, I have no doubt that if Naruto was going to kill Neji, the funeral would be closed-casket).

NaruHina fluff! Yay! Fluff is always welcome. It's too bad Naruto really can't drag that second-guessing out and beat it to death--it'd be terribly therapeutic for both of them.

Liked the bit

He supposed he must have released a little of that ‘killing intent’ stuff

...I'm surprised ANBU wasn't breaking down the door wondering how an entire army of missing-nin got into the hospital unnoticed ^_^. I'm sure it was many things, but I doubt it was 'little'.

Keep up the wonderful work, and don't keep us in suspense for the greatest smackdown since Yondaime vs. Kyuubi!

Pleather Boots posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 6:34pm

I was so excited to see an update notice in my inbox that I rushed over here to read. I didn't expect to see a lot of this background info, but I really did like it! From the Hokage, to Kurenai and Hinata, and Iruka it filled in the gap than canon overlooked as well as many fanfics. Sasuke's defeat was excellent and the reasons for them was rock solid.

I can't help but feel sorry for Naruto dealing with all the info on Hinata's family and no one to help break it down and air it out for him properly. Even if he is a shinobi, that's a lot of stuff for a 12yr old to try to solve. I'm all for bashing their heads in, but I suppose that wouldn't work.

Thanks for the update!

Darksnider05 posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 5:33pm

The Kyuubi in us all should scream for an Itachi on the Hyuuga Main Branch excluding Hinata.On second thought maim Neji.... that is all.

Kail posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 5:03pm

New Chapter! Oh the greatness of it!

Great points - Hinata's personal thoughts and feelings are *very* well done here. Only, personally, given that she's been working with Naruto very heavily in this world, maybe she should have a better self-image? Conversely, could it be that she's kicking herself all the harder for failing despite all the progress she's made with Naruto?

The peek into the Sandaime's thoughts was just the touch needed - showing the bigger picture defintely makes the world more alive. And when you add in the little accents you scattered there...well, it's the win.

Gai - he's loud. He's "power of youth." He's a training nutjob. He's the *last* ninja you'd expect to have a brain in his head - and that's why it's such a great thing to see him sneaking the xray out while distracting the hospital staff. Gai has never been shown (to my freely-confessed knowledge!) to use either ninjutsu or genjutsu - but canon he has to be able to. Reason? The big "go-to-sleep" in canon was a genjutsu that had to be dispelled. Besides, while Lee is proof that you can be incapable of performing nin- or genjutsu but still manipulate chakra to the point of punching your gates open, I'm pretty sure that Lee's the first taijutsu-only ninja in Konoha history.

Naruto vs Sasuke. This fight was over by oh say chapter 4. By that point Naruto was shown to be far in excess of canon capability. All this time later, with the rounding out of his capablities that he's gotten, the only way for Sasuke to give Naruto more than a light warm-up would be to pop the seal to the first level. Naruto would be unlikely to need the Kyuubi's chakra until Sasuke hopped himself up to level 2, if then. The speed and resistance training that Naruto's undergone has easily raised him to the level of canon-Lee at the prelims. And the Sharingan, unlike the Byakugan, has one unalterable weakness: it can't see more than the regular human field of vision. Put five T8-Narutos in the blind spot and that fight's over - even canon it's been shown that while you can disrupt a kage bunshin easily enough, they really do have a mass to cause damage (ref Gaara getting his trash kicked in the forest - if bunshin were so easily dispelled, they'd have blown themselves up when they hit him. Maybe kage bunshin have heavy chakra weaves for fists and feet to soak up the blow and not destroy themselves? Ah well, a question for the creator).

At any rate, desperately waiting for the next chapter, and looking most definitely forward to Neji learning the meaning of PAIN.

Ja!

Manatheron posted a comment on Sunday 23rd March 2008 1:45pm

I've read this chapter at least three times since you updated, and every time I'm struck by the little differences you use that seem to make such a large difference. I don't know how you do it, but you always seem to suck me into the story.

Excellent work.
Manatheron

dogbrother4 posted a comment on Sunday 9th March 2008 2:34pm

Great Story!! Hope to see more.

I was wondering if a chakra pulse during the finals would have some affect on orichmaru's disguise as the visiting kage. If it did, triggering the attack early would have some interesting effects. For example the ninja in the stands might not be put to sleep before the attack.

Jon posted a comment on Tuesday 26th February 2008 11:58pm

just curious about your authors notes at the end of the chapter..

The nine-tailed demon is, however, a pragmatist. It knows its remaining existence will end when Naruto dies, and even if he could survive the Cursed Seal, Orochimaru’s lackeys have an abysmal life expectancy. So… it will cooperate when the choice is between that and dying.

How does Kyuubi know about Orochimaru? There isn't any mention about Orochi from Kyuubi from the Naruto manga either..

Viridian replied:

Orochi in canon knew enough about Naruto's seal to know the overlay seal would block access to the Kyuubi's chakra, so that's pretty telling.

And even if the Kyuubi had no knowledge of the Snake Sannin, he could tell that seal was bad news. Having your container manipulated like a pawn is not conducive to prolonging your existence...

Jeremy DuCharme posted a comment on Friday 15th February 2008 2:46am

Hmm, one though hit me, how nuts did Lee go at seeing Naruto replicate his dream, the hard working 'dead last' beating the 'gifted genius' through shear effort/willpower?

basicblack posted a comment on Thursday 7th February 2008 7:17pm

gah!!!

please, please hurry up and post the next chapter

*starts tearing out people's hair*

I want to read it!!!

*argggghhhhh!!*

But, anyways, I love what you did to Sasuke *smirk*

little prick deserves it> ;)

Terry Chang posted a comment on Tuesday 5th February 2008 5:51pm

just reread this for the umpth time (i hope i spelled that correctly). have to say, what makes me LOVE this story is how certain things are phrased and how the writing makes me feel.

a digression: i loved the first matrix, with all the kungfu and other stuff, not because just because it was kungfu (any movie can have fighting) but because of the "Awe" and "woah" factor that the directors put into it. watching it just made my jaw drop in wonder or my face scrunch up with my muscles tense thinking "hell yeah, go kick some ass!".

this story also makes me feel all of that and more. the desciptiveness (is that a word?) makes it just "GROWL" SO F'ING COOL...example:

"What variety of flowers would be appropriate?" he asked in the calmest, most matter-of-fact tone of voice he could muster.

"What?" Tenten asked, rubbing a bruise on the side of her head that she’d sustained in her loss to Temari.

"For your team mate’s funeral," he clarified.

How is that NOT the coolest thing that could have been said ever, by Shino, with his cool badassiness. just f;ing sick man! keep it up and i got to go back to reread this story again.

Raf Zaiman posted a comment on Monday 4th February 2008 8:08pm

Excellent story. I'm rather new to Naruto (just started looking this october), but so far I'm not disappointed by either the series or the fanfics. Looking forward to the next chapter.

wotmania505 posted a comment on Thursday 31st January 2008 8:21pm

Excellent story. You are a truly talented write. Keep up the great work!

cobwebanne posted a comment on Wednesday 30th January 2008 9:23pm

I love this story! I can't wait to find out what happens next. The pace is great in this chapter. You covered alot of ground but the plotting was clear (I've never read Naruto). Naruto has really become the leader of the team in operational situations. Thank you for taking the time to write this!

ShadeHawk posted a comment on Tuesday 29th January 2008 12:04pm

A bit more about jutsus and differences from the "Naruto" canon.

I wonder if Naruto would use his 'Naruto Rendan' jutsu ('Naruto Combo'), which he used in original storyline in prelims agains Kiba. IIRC from what I have read about it it is based on Sasuke Lion Combo, which in turn is ripoff Rock Lee jutsu. In 'Team 8' Naruto spars against Lee, so I can see him use the move based on the same principle as one of the more powerful Lee moves.

In the anime Hinata creates her own ninjutsu, 'Shugohakke Rokujuyon Sho' ('Protection of the Eight Trigrams Palms'), if I understand correctly this happens during (after?) timeskip. In 'Team 8' Hinata states that one of her goals is to create original powerfull jutsu based on her family techniques. While I guess that in your fanfic Hinata is not so driven to impress Naruto, she I think gets better teaching; would Naruto help her acquire this goal? I'm not sure what are your plans with respect to relation between Hinata and her father, and Neji animosy to the main branch, would they lessen as per original plot or not...

Other issues which you seem to have forgotten:
* what happened to Haku (which lives in your fanfic)?
* what happened to Rock Lee learning Drunken Fist style?

If you rather reply on the forums, the same post is also available there, as Team 8 - jutsus and other questions

--
ShadeHawk

Ronnie McMains posted a comment on Wednesday 23rd January 2008 12:20pm

All right, I know it's really late to be reviewing this, but oh well.

First off, Neji vs. Naruto. I agree with Jizzle on two points. One, I wanted to reach through the screen and kill Neji. Two, someone needs to slip Naruto a copy of 'The Princess Bride' so he can fight Neji 'to the pain'. If you don't know the meaning, the quote's not hard to find.

Second, despite Kurenai's misgivings earlier in the story, it seems Asuma's doing something right, given Chouji and Nara's matches.

Third, Sasuke vs. Naruto. Loved it. The match may not have started until Hayate said 'Begin', but it was over as soon as Sasuke opened his mouth.

I do hope you know that you've ruined me for practically all other Naruto fanfic, as well as ever watching or reading the series itself. Guess they should have gotten you to write the manga. :)