Entilzah posted a comment on Monday 7th July 2008 2:05am for A Dangerous Pursuit

Wow! All the well thought out and tactically sound action that I have come to expect from Team 8. All the promise I saw at the end of the previous chapter is fulfilled here. It is a refresing to see the teamwork that Team 8 was originally based around to create come to fruition. And even better, it is so enjoyable to see a fight scene in fan fiction that is something beyond "I epeen you to death!"

This story continues to enthrall me. Keep up the excellent work.

Mayjest posted a comment on Saturday 5th July 2008 11:49pm for A Dangerous Pursuit

That was absolutely bloody awesome.

I'm sure I'll say more on the forums, but that's all that needs to be said here.

Manatheron posted a comment on Saturday 5th July 2008 7:06pm for A Dangerous Pursuit

extraordinary chapter, it's always interesting to find out what your going to do next. I can honestly say that I never would have considered what would have happened if Haku had been involved in the fight between orochimaru and Saratobi. But I have to admit, you did a damn fine job of extrapolating. Well done, Well done indeed.

nuclear death frog posted a comment on Saturday 5th July 2008 11:33am for A Dangerous Pursuit

This chapter is just F'ing [b]incredible[/b]. I can't even conceive of it being better in any way, except one. That would be to make it longer and still sustain the pacing. But that would decrease the amount of future chapters.

ShadeHawk posted a comment on Saturday 5th July 2008 10:04am for A Dangerous Pursuit

Sorry about earlier post with runaway italic... If only this site had Preview button for reviews, or option to edit one's review. Or, what would be best, automatically closing all open tags, to not screw up other posts.

Trying to have only one review with wrong formatting

ShadeHawk posted a comment on Saturday 5th July 2008 9:59am for A Dangerous Pursuit

Yet another wonderful chapter! I wonder if after three action-packed consecutive chapter there will be place for some character development chapter.

I really like the forceful Hinata, and liked appereance of Haku.

(a bit of rambling ahead)


A bit of speculation with respect to differences between this A.U. fanfic and original "Naruto" (disclaimer: I have watched only a few episodes, read wikipedia article with short description of episodes, and read quite a bit Naruto fanfics): I wonder what would be the long-time consequences of differences between original Naruto's "peep talk" to Gaara, which if I understand correctly was

I'm strong because I fight for my precious people

and current (paraphrasing a bit)

You say that your life has no meaning? Your siblings care for you, baka!

Orohimaru have lost one arm, and not usage of both arms, but I guess (but I might be mistaken) that Sarutobi lives. A bit of tradeoff...

Hmmm... was the poison/venom/toxin used by Orohimaru neurotoxin (fast, deadly) or necrotic (slower, but does damage even if neutralized), or perhaps it is hemotoxin (slower). From the fact that Sarutobi didn't drop dead instantly... well, this is fiction, so I really cannot say.

BTW. the frozen limb and destroing "flash frozen" arm by Orohimaru reminded me of scene in the movie "Johny Mnemonic"...

s
p
o
i
l
e
r

I wonder what would happen to "searching for Tsunade" arc. Sarutobi lives, but can one armed, probably weakened by poison, and feeling his years be a good Kage? Perhaps it would be better to have replacement at hand, even if Sarutobi is not to resign his position at once. I wonder what would happen with Orochimaru part of arc; in original plot Orihimaru and Kabuto (what happened to him, has anyone discovered that he was a traitor, and IIRC cast interrupted sleep genjutsu?) searched for Tsunade to "unseal" his arms. In "Team 8" Orohimaru has one arm left, so he can do at least some of jutsus (there is fair amount which can be done using one hand seals only), but I don't think even Tsunade can regenerate completely missing arm...

I wonder if Kakashi has taught Sasuke his assasination jutsu, Chidori (Teaching Genin{/italic] an assassination jutsu could be explained (I think) by the fact that Sasuke had to fight with Gaara.) And if Jurayia would teach Naruto trademark jutso : Rasengan. It would be strange to see Naruto without one of his signature jutsus...

Would we ever see Naruto in Kyubified / kitsune form (with tail or tails made of ref chakra)?


A few Naruto's one shots:
* Given Enough Time and Only Bastards Rise - nice ideas of jutsus for (mature) Naruto.
* Under the Skin - Aburame Shino. Creepy and a bit disturbing fanfic.

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Saturday 5th July 2008 3:47am for A Dangerous Pursuit

Well done battle here, and was awesome to all the three members standing up, and yet, not just romping over the others, but actually working hard for it, and great to see the difference that Haku makes this time around.

Rexnos posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 8:50pm for A Dangerous Pursuit

I'm so tempted to watch Naruto just to see how things have changed... Not being in on the series basically makes this seem like a straight story as opposed to a fic... Still, I just can't tolerate the stupidity of the anime...

Anyway, one hell of an action-packed chapter. I'm trying to write a single action sequence right now and failing miserably, and my character isn't even a ninja... This whole chapter was just awesome.

Later,
Rex

Bobboky posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 3:44pm for A Dangerous Pursuit

sweet

aelreth posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 11:34am for A Dangerous Pursuit

I really liked this chapter, you and your team interwove multiple fights together, also those fights didn't feel choreographed. That was a refreshing suprise you kept me as a reader on my toes hanging onto every word.

I really liked how you kept up on Hinata's personal development, once she gets and the team get finally debriefed most likely after turning in their catch she will be commended once again by her Sensei and the Hokage. Looking back you could say that her time in the hospital was her 'rock bottom' and now she is fast becomming her own person.

The Hokage fight while to some would seem implausible made absolute sense. Orochimaru like most strategists creates dozens of sub-plans and contingencies to isolate and neutralize their opponent. Haku's entry combined with the loss of the kinjutsu Orochimaru was going to use as a trump card meant that the battle was going to go differently. Using the poison on the sword was also in line with his character, it simply wouldn't make sense for a ninja of Orochimaru's age to not think of another good trick beyond his bag of tricks. While some would call non-canon (a redundant statement in AU)in regards to Haku's survival, I would say that Orochimaru wouldn't be able to muster the ability to kill Haku quickly enough before he lost track of Sarutobi which in this level of fight is fatal.

I'm also glad that this Naruto that is being made is far more practical and realistic the thoughts "The anguish on the girl’s face bothered him, but it wouldn’t stop him from killing her brother." Means that his actual psyche will be ready to actually lead missions and be able to make decisions with the lives of his team in mind.

Thanks for continuing this magneficent work, have a great summer!

Prince Charon posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 10:29am for A Dangerous Pursuit

You're very good at this.

Thank you for updating.

More soon, please.

Sml posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 9:45am for A Dangerous Pursuit

Awesome, most definitely. I got to say I am very glad Haku is still alive, and even better he‘s on their side. I knew you had some type of plan for him when you didn’t have him killed and now, maybe, he and Naruto can meet and be friends. I hope at least since I think they could help each other grow even more with one being serious and kind while the other energetic and sunny, and seeing how he'd react to Hinata and Shino, heck the whole set of rookies would be great. Plus if the way your painting the Hyuuga clan keeps going then he’ll need all the help he can get from enemies within and out. I humbly ask you please keep up the great work and wait in anticipation of the next chapter. One question though. If the old white haired pervert wasn’t fighting the giant snake, where was he?

Fate posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 6:13am for A Dangerous Pursuit

Wonderful chapter!
I love this story!!

Teresa Lynne posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 5:18am for A Dangerous Pursuit

I loved seeing the different battles and how Naruto and the others dealt with the invaders! Especially the part where Naruto got a look at what might have happened to him if he hadn't been the type of person he was and didn't have his friends and his sensei. Many thanks for the chapter! :)

eg posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 4:48am for A Dangerous Pursuit

It great...I'm still waiting for the plot to appear though.

tempeleng posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 1:51am for A Dangerous Pursuit

Fantastically awesome chapter! The pace of battles was just right and made the story flow.

A few points below:

Naruto seems to be more overpowered compared to the earlier chapters.

Would it be possible for Orochimaru (and the entire Sound 4) to escape, despite being surrounded by Konoha's finest? Maybe he should sacrifice a few of the Sound 4.

Viridian replied:

Keep in mind that Naruto did 3 weeks of intensive training with Jiraiya and Gai before the exam started, and Kurenai had given him excellent intel on his opponents.

Well, Orochimaru and the Sound 4 managed a very similar escape in canon under very similar circumstances, so it should turn out roughly the same here. (Konoha's outlying districts aren't as heavily damaged in the attack, but the Leaf Shinobi still have to go out and fight. The ANBU around the barrier were present in canon as well.)

BaltaineShadow posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 1:26am for A Dangerous Pursuit

Damn it! I waited that long to get to read this chapter!
But, I have to admit, you really did a great job with this chapter! I really enjoyed reading it - thanks anyways for letting Haku survive the battle with Kakashi. He always was one of my favorite characters... and I didn't even notice him during the written test... lol

STBgirl posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 1:20am for A Dangerous Pursuit

Really good chapter. I liked the way you wrote the multiple fight scenes, it felt fast-paced but not too confusing. Looking forward to reading the next chapter.

redhandgrunt posted a comment on Thursday 3rd July 2008 6:39pm for A Dangerous Pursuit

Great chapter. I think you did wonderfully interweaving the stories and showing the emotion from the Sand siblings. I had no problem with Shino Clubbing Kankuro instead of killing him mainly since you stated very clearly that the objective was capture not kill.

jerry posted a comment on Thursday 3rd July 2008 4:54pm for A Dangerous Pursuit

loved the chapter . . the arm of Orochimaru’s that got shattered , was it the one with the summing tattoo? will you be adding the filler aces in to the story before he goes off on the 3 year training trip (a summing he goes on it) It is something hardly seen in fanfiction. it will give you some more time on his team training.