Content Harry Potter Naruto

Reviews

  • Previous
  • Next

AvalonRayne posted a comment on Thursday 14th May 2015 1:17pm for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

I wish, I wish, I wish... That you would write the story of Future #1, the entire and actual war effort before your prologue. It would be incredibly heart-rending and downright epic. Have you done so already, and I just missed it somehow? Are you planning to do so eventually, if you haven't?

Your characters are beautifully written and the flashback memories are always touchingly poignant. As a card-carrying cynic, I admit that I find it hard to believe everyone would have just ACCEPTED. You would think at least one person would have disbelieved Harry's story, and yet your character development makes it seem perfectly natural... That all of these people have this wonderful, solid bond and amazing depth and are able to believe the boy who gave everything to bring them back.

I remember starting to read this back when you first began, and I was so excited to see the updates when I logged on by chance one day.

Very to much looking forward to where this goes,

AvalonRayne (formerly TheGoldenSeraphim)

E. C. Scrubb posted a comment on Wednesday 14th August 2013 12:27am for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

First, I must apologize. I usually try to write reviews after each chapter, or at least after every few chapters, but I found myself reading this on my tablet, or in between other tasks and I never ended up reviewing. Lame excuse, I know.

Usually, and by usually I mean almost all the time, I really dislike any kind of time-travel fic. However, overall I'm really impressed by the way you've handled the questions concerning paradox and divergent timelines. Too many times there ends up being inconsistencies, but I've yet to find one here. Partially, that's because you've set up the story in such a way that you can sidestep that issue pretty much, and partially that's because you've made that very issue a deeper question of fate vs. free-will. On that question, the way you're answering it is fascinating to say the least, and definitely betrays a postmodern bent eschewing binary systems.

I've also enjoyed the way you've spread out the backstory. By the time you get to one, I'm invested enough in your potrayal of the character—both in the past and present of your story—to read through it and care to know what happens. It's a good bit of storytelling.

I did find myself asking a couple questions, however. The first was, if Harry was so desperate his first or second year to talk to someone, why not find a way to get to the Sorting Hat? I know that it is kept in Dumbledore's office, but I'd think that he'd make an effort to have a conversation and if not seek advice from another sentient entity, at least be able to get something off his chest.

A second question concerns Harry's actions vs. age. I know you've said that he is a thirty year old, but also a thirteen year old. What I'm finding that I'm struggling with, is two fold. First, more and more it actually feels like the thirty year old Harry is actually dying, or at least disappearing, leaving a child with adult memories. While I can understand that, the problem I have with it is that it's creating (for me) a disconnect with the past, since the thirteen year old would have less and less emotional connection with the memories, until they are really nothing more than a slideshow and a warning of what may come. I think I feel this way because of the consistent referring to the older Harry in the third person. The second part however, is that he does feel too old for the characterization. Because he's thirteen, even with the memories and older Harry's maturity, he is still dealing with the biological development, including hormones, brain development, etc., that hinders more gray-area thinking. This could be explained by the presence of the thirty year old Harry is some kind of physio-psychological combination, but that's been ruled out by the first part, that thirty year old Harry is dying off slowly (again, or so it feels to me).

I can accept your statement about one mature one who is the alpha of the group forcing others to mature as well, but again, there are physical/biochemical limits to it, and it seems that you're at least flirting with those limits, especially since they don't seem to be maturing faster than others sexually (which means their biological development is the same as everyone else).

Nonetheless, it hasn't come close to destroying my suspension of disbelief, so it's not as big of a deal as the previous paragraphs might make it sound.

I don't know if you've published the beginning of year four yet, (guess I'll find out soon enough), but I'm really interested to see if Fleur calls him a "little boy" and if so, how he reacts. I just can't see this Harry letting that comment go, especially if he knows it's coming, and I just can't see fate letting him sidestep the tournament.

The most entertaining of this entire story however, is your betas messing with your author notes. Absolutely hilarious. I find myself smiling as I get to the end of each chapter just to see what they've said next.

All in all, a great story, and I can absolutely see why this story has over 11k reviews on FF.net. Oh, and one last comment, thank you for not devolving into bashing any characters. You've even written Dumbledore as a character that isn't trustworthy, but isn't manipulative!Dumbledore as the cliche goes. I can't tell you how refreshing it is to read a story that doesn't stray into that territory. It *almost* makes up for your use of magical oaths. :chuckling

Looking forward to finishing what you have written, then I'll play the waiting game. This'll definitely be a story I follow.

clinicallyinsane posted a comment on Tuesday 26th October 2010 2:04am for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

Is Harry losing his memory?

Potter&Granger posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 7:28pm for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

"He has no real idea of the forces moving to oppose him." *cues sinister laughter*

I wonder what kind of forces are those? are you willing to let something slip upon reviewers?
though i may be able to imagine at least a bit:

1- Snape, once sacked from Hogwarts making plans with Lucius against Merged-Harry. I think Pettigrew release from the ministry might have something to do with, perhaps to have him going to find voldemort like he does in canon.
I'm worried about Harry don't making a through investigation about those things, knowing that somethings are forced to repite themselves despite harry's efforts. Among other things:
the whole Quidditch World Coup and the events that took place afterwards, though it may be funny seeing, or rather reading, Harry obliterating those Death Eaters on the spot. More important however, the Tri-Wizard Tournament and the whole "Let's get Voldemort to the land of living once again" plot behind it. would you let it happen at all? i think before that whole ordeal, Harry should tell Dumbledore everything, providing he figured out a way to tell him without risking any Obliviate on him.
If he does, perhaps they can be able to take out the Horcrux within the Sorting Hat and destroing it, and then use the basilisk venom to destroy all the other Horcruxes except the snake, and then letting himself being led to the Little Hangleton's graveyard trap, in order to obliterate Voldemort, Pettigrew and the last Horcrux, all at once.
it would make it out for an spectacular end. And Harry would at least be free and able to build a life with all his friends, surrogate family, godfather and headmaster all of them live and safe... THE END

I don't think it would be that easy, would it?

keep going on this fascinating history, I'm very eager to read more of it
please update and if you can adress my rather largest doubts...

Cheers Matthew.

mantis posted a comment on Saturday 9th May 2009 7:58pm for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

"Ill-advised" -- yes, Harry blowing up his wand would be inconvenient at best, and potentially catastrophic.

"but trying to match that would only make things worse." Heh. Trying to out-acerb Minerva McGonagall is a losing battle. She reminds me a bit of Simon Illyan from the Vorkosigan saga... or, better yet, what the putative offspring of Illyan and Cordelia Naismith would be like, if she'd somehow ended up with him instead of Aral Vorkosigan. It's a good thing her relations with Harry are improving; she makes a very good friend and a very, very bad enemy.

"once upon a never." Nice turn of phrase for Harry's memories of the other timeline.

I like the way Harry engaged with Hermione's idealism and turned it from an impediment to an asset, simply by getting her to see the long view of what he's trying to accomplish by joining Slughorn's network. As Ginny obliquely observed, this is how the best of politicians lead. I think I only just realized how much greater the merged Harry is than the sum of his parts: with all the knowledge he's worked so hard at acquiring in this timeline, driven by his memories of the other, I suspect he's a much better leader than *either* Harry was before.

Ron and Hermione getting together to do what's essentially a game-theory analysis of the Slug Club is brilliant -- if she can work out the pieces and the rules in way that models reality well enough, then he, with his intuitive grasp of strategy, should be able to predict future patterns and choose the moves that will best serve their cause. I suspect the real prize, or one of them at least, among the canonical Slug Club graduates would be Barnabas Cuffe, the chief editor of the Daily Prophet. It would be best for Harry and the Wizarding World if the Prophet stopped acting like Pravda under the Politburo and behaved more like the New York Times during the Bush II era (even if it did still include a few shills for the regime like Judith Martin and David Brooks).

Harry was already planning for this when he sealed up the chamber behind him, wasn't he? He even mentioned the value of basilisk parts, and said somewhat obliquely that having killed it, the six of them had earned the windfall -- and of course he knew Slughorn was returning to Hogwarts, and would know how to broker the sale of whatever materials they could recover from the dead basilisk.

"resisted the urge to unleash Prongs on the foul things." All in good time, I hope -- still holding out for the great Hogwarts Dementor Massacre at the end of Year 3, with Prongs (and a whole bunch of other Patroni) acting as hammers on the anvil of the new wards.

"The one dressed like a French pornographer?" Oh, bloody hell, I'm reading this in a public libarary and I nearly had a stroke suppressing the guffaw so I wouldn't be thrown out on my ear when I read that line!

"But anyone wanting to play the hammer is going to have to get through me first." Huh. There was a time, after OotP and before HBP, when I was half-convinced that H/Hr had as good a chance as R/Hr (see the essay "Partners and Friends" on the HP Lexicon for the arguments that brought me to that point, and "Are they really compatible?" for the counterarguments that eventually disabused me of that notion). One of the arguments is the way Harry's first instinct in the Trio's violent confrontations is nearly always to protect Hermione. One of the first still shots released when the PoA movie was in production showed him halfway through the act of shoving her behind him, as they both stare in horror out of the image at some threat -- the Dementors, I assumed when I first saw it, though in the event it turned out to be Lupin in his untreated werewolf form. I made an icon from that image, which I used for a while on FictionAlley, with the caption, "Anything that wants to hurt you has to get through me first!" Even without any romance between, that still holds true as part of the brother-sister relationship they've developed.

We never learned much about Hermione's parents in canon, but their reaction makes perfect sense here. Muggle parents of witches or wizards are in a particularly difficult position; their children's growing powers place them beyond the ability or, for that matter, competence (because a Muggle in Rowling's world really evaluate the challenges, temptations, and dangers magical folk face) of their parents to supervise at a much younger age than normal.

Augusta picking up the tab was a nice touch -- shows she's taken the previous meeting with Neville to heart, I think.

Nice way of bringing the Lovegoods' canonical house into the story without having to go back and revise; the tower being farther from curious Muggle eyes is probably a very good thing, given how much odder Xeno is than even the average wizard.

tugger55 posted a comment on Saturday 22nd November 2008 10:45pm for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

what muggles is peter recruting?

Lynn Terald posted a comment on Friday 17th October 2008 1:03pm for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

This story is very good and I'm glad to know it was not abandoned.

I read a while back in one of the reviews that someone wanted to know if there were any other good do-over stories and there is one that got me started on the whole do-over. Its good, but there is one drawback. If you don't like Snape, DO NOT READ!!!

http://www.greyblue.net/MidnightBlue/story.php?storyid=2

She's a good author and recently found that she has a continuation off this story.

Duelist posted a comment on Monday 29th September 2008 4:36pm for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

A very good do-over concept. Hope you continue.

Kimberly Patterson posted a comment on Saturday 20th September 2008 1:15am for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

Matthew,

I always look forward to a new chapter by rereading your story. I enjoyed Luna's uncharacteristically direct glances. They really make a reader pay attention. It's always fascinating when Harry makes well reasoned dire predictions to someone who isn't 'in the know.' There was more laughter in the earlier chapters, especially over ironic happenings, anything with Rita springs to mind. I love the cunning of Slughorn. You've really made him embody what it means to be slytherin. Any discussions with McGonagall keep me on the edge of my seat. I keep wondering if she's going to find out so much that she'll have to find out everything, and how she'll keep it from Dumbledore. Are we going to hear anything more from the youngest Miss Bulstrode? I find my self curious as to how she's managing. You have an excellent story that many many people enjoy and acknowledge as the best "redo" fanfiction out there. Thanks so much for each and every chapter of reading enjoyment. We can't get enough!

Kim

Carolyn Jinn posted a comment on Wednesday 17th September 2008 10:34pm for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

Well... this story so far has a great plot and storyline. It will be great to see where you take it in regards to the 'original story by JK'. I will be waiting for the next chapter.

Overall....It's a great story.

hholidays posted a comment on Monday 8th September 2008 1:44pm for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

Well, I've caught up to you. On the whole, this is an excellent fic that started smashingly and finished pretty well to date. There's some plot pacing issues, but I think plot pacing issues are actually the point of fan fiction... so there's that.

My final comment isn't criticism or even a critique, so much as an observation. You've got a great hypothesis to base the story on (one I'll admit turned me off for three years before I finally gave in and read this.)

The problem is that after your great hypothesis, you have a ton of exposition before you can possibly get to the resolution. It's entertaining, but 350K words later and we still have a year and a half of exposition remaining (most likely). I suppose that is why it's fan fic and not a published novel.

Anyhow, please don't take any criticisms as much more than my thinking. As someone who has attempted a fic that is a fraction the size of this one, I readily concede and thank you for the unbelievable amount of work involved in writing this story.

Thanks! I'm signed up for updates. Consider me a convert.

LEEDABUG posted a comment on Monday 18th August 2008 12:15pm for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

This story is my first time reading your work. I love the story, and can't wait to see what happens next. I like that Harry is true to his (book) character even though the story is totally AU. Lovin' it.

timmerator posted a comment on Tuesday 12th August 2008 11:53am for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

Only one point at this juncture... Bill was a Head boy in Cannon too so that would mean 2 HB'S already with the possibility of a third, or more!
small thing really. Some of his memories seem to be fading? or is it just me? Looking forward to your next,

Tim

Shaw posted a comment on Tuesday 22nd July 2008 3:23am for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

It was well worth rereading still like it.kinda wonder how you going to do the big bad though

starrangerwriter posted a comment on Monday 14th July 2008 5:52pm for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

All right, I'm gonna be very upset if this never gets finished. I really like it, well, except for the looks dad sends me because I'm laughing at something that he just wouldn't get. I read it all before I reviewed and I think that you have an enchanting story here. Keep it up!

Tammy Driver posted a comment on Friday 11th July 2008 2:49am for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

Wonderful story. Please update soon. Are you going to show what the Malfoy's are up to, any time soon?

BaltaineShadow posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 9:32am for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

I can't wait to read the next chapter^^
Christmas at The Burrow is always wonderful!

eg posted a comment on Friday 4th July 2008 5:37am for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

Brilliant chapter...can't wait for more

warped posted a comment on Monday 23rd June 2008 7:19am for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

Okay, what's next.

It's not so much a review as a plea that you work on the next update.

Lynn Terald posted a comment on Monday 23rd June 2008 2:44am for The Slughorn that Stole Christmas

YAY!!! A new chapter. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.