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Nights Silhoutte posted a comment on Sunday 3rd February 2013 4:23pm for First Mission

A great chapter, I love the team dynamics.

superdog417 posted a comment on Sunday 17th October 2010 8:22pm for First Mission

Hmm...never been to this site before but I really like this story :D...have no clue when you last updated this but I decided to comment anyway ^^

Greg Johnson posted a comment on Sunday 30th September 2007 4:49pm for First Mission

Can't wait for more. Keep up the good work!

Crazy posted a comment on Tuesday 19th June 2007 2:52am for First Mission

I did pick up the Matrix quote, but I can't believe it took me this long to get to recognizing it. Perfect and nicely humourous

gsteemso posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 2:47am for First Mission

Great story! I always look forward to getting more of this one as much as I do getting more of /Nightmares of Futures Past/, which is saying something. *grin*

A comment on translation, however: You frequently refer, in this story, to "Tenketsu points." This is a redundancy in the same vein as "PIN number" -- /tenketsu/ ARE points, specifically the focal points at which more chi than usual flows. This is usually translated to English -- inadequately, because the conceptual underpinnings aren't there -- as "pressure points" or "acupuncture points."

In the context of the Narutoverse, it's probably chakra rather than chi, but the concept doesn't change. If, in your writings, you want to retain the Japanese word for flavour, it might be better to drop the "point" part and just call them "tenketsu," or perhaps "tenketsu foci" to help retain some indication of the meaning for those who are not familiar with the idea.

I decided a while back that I would eschew truly foreign words as much as possible in my own stories, because in all likelihood, most of my readers only know English. If you want to go the English-only route for "tenketsu," I suggest something like "vital points," or possibly "vital foci." Those are about as close as I can get to conveying the underlying concept, short of including a rather unfocused and rambling author's note. (As you may have gathered from this review, brevity is not one of my virtues. *wry grin*)

Looking forward to "The Next Part!"

Musta posted a comment on Friday 1st September 2006 3:40am for First Mission

Did you see why I'm such a rabid Aburame Shino fan? Cold logic at work, people, cold logic.

Catty Nebulart posted a comment on Tuesday 15th August 2006 8:23am for First Mission

Well this story has been highly recomended and I see that the praise is well deserved. Keep up the good work.

glorfy posted a comment on Friday 3rd March 2006 6:23am for First Mission

woot, team 8 goodness.

love the quote from the matrix *G*

i cant wait to see one of narutos training sessions with gai.
although i think i fear it at the same time.

love the bunshin thing, and his joke. or was he not joking? i think it was perhaps a bit of both

cheers for the quick update :)


Davideg posted a comment on Thursday 2nd March 2006 7:51pm for First Mission

fantastic story please update agin soon

Mathew McCrillis posted a comment on Thursday 2nd March 2006 3:13pm for First Mission

I really like your story, the changes help me empathize with the characters better. You are quickly becoming one of my favorite authors.


kittykatluver posted a comment on Thursday 2nd March 2006 2:39pm for First Mission

Very nice-a! I don't normally read Naruto fanfic, but this caught my interest quite quickly! Good job!

draconix posted a comment on Thursday 2nd March 2006 1:41pm for First Mission

Hey there, I was reading this story over at as well. Looking forward to seeing where you go with this.

scott2 posted a comment on Thursday 2nd March 2006 1:28pm for First Mission

very nice, I expected more loudmouth Naruto for at least a few chapters but this version of him is a lot more enjoyable, are you going to have a scene were Shino usess his bugs I've always thought they were damn cool...and a little freaky, wonder how Naruto is going to respnd to Kyuubi this time round?