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Prince Charon posted a comment on Tuesday 8th April 2008 3:15am for A Wretched Recovery

Very interesting. Yeah, I can agree that Hinata's decision was very foolish, perhaps more here than in canon. Still think Neji's an asshole, though, and you convey his personality well. Interesting changes to Shino.

Thank you for updating.

More soon, please.

Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Tuesday 8th April 2008 3:14am for A Wretched Recovery

You know, I like where this chapter went. Sure, my inner action fan wants to see how the exams go - but we just had the preliminaries. So, it's time for repercussions.

Specific thoughts - I don't think you've stated who Shino's facing. Shino doesn't actually seem to care - he's nearly as vengeful as Naruto, regarding Neji. Scary...

Kurenai chewing out Hinata for her folly - while determination is all well and good, that makes a good point. One that I don't think I've ever seen covered before.

Hokage having to deal with petitions... I really pity the old man. I can just imagine how flabbergasted people were when they heard about the match.

Naruto and Hinata interacting more...I think you showed three separate visits, each with a different tone. Really nice to see.

So, how much /did/ Iruka make off that betting? I loved Ichiraku's comment about wishing he'd been able to get in on it - nice to see that there are people who believe in Naruto.

Lastly, Gai. You write him well. And interesting idea, that all the youth speeches - or at least some of them - could be a cover...

Also, regarding your Author's Notes: Nice job heading off any complaints that Naruto shouldn't have been able to win. I applaud.

Overall, I good chapter. Not for the first time, however, I curse my speed-reading abilities. I guess I'll just have to go and reread from chapter one...

Viridian replied:

I've actually thrown open the betting scene as an Omake Contest. See my blog for details...

Philip Jacobs posted a comment on Tuesday 8th April 2008 3:04am for A Wretched Recovery

Yay, more win and awesome from one of my favorite authors! Seriously, I am glad that Hinata came out of her shell and demanded screen time here, because I think that we needed to see just what sort of effects that stomp-down defeat from Neji was having on her and the team as a whole. It's the background issues like this that inevitably shape and refine future responses from each team member, and it's always more satisfying for me when I get a better idea of where motivations are coming from than if things start happening and I have only a vague idea of just what has happened off-camera to lead to the onstage actions.

The whole Hyuuga family dynamic has always seemed to me to be seriously disfunctional, even in the canon manga. Ok, so they are paranoid about theft of their special bloodline ability, so I can see where that self-destruct seal would have evolved in the first place. But the whole Main and Branch family division just seems like it's an implosion waiting to happen from the get-go. Hinata losing face in her father's opinion for being weaker than her cousin, son of the esteemed brother that was sacrificed because her father's actions had repercussions makes way too much sense, and honestly I'm surprised that Neji hasn't been getting secret coaching from Hiashi for some time now, since it's been a proven fact through her entire training career that Hinata's not meeting his expectations. Something needs to be done with that family, and hopefully Naruto is going to be part of the clue-by-four that smacks them.

All in all, an excellent bit of bonding for Naruto and our favorite white-eye, and I'll be looking forward to the next installment. Loved the bit with Iruka cleaning up on the betting, I wonder just which other Konoha personages managed to reap a windfall? :)

As always, thanks for sharing, and I hope your Muse stays content and productive for you.

Darkflame posted a comment on Tuesday 8th April 2008 2:09am for A Wretched Recovery

Yet again another great chapter, but there is one thing that I have been wondering about since the prelims. Considering how one of the main functions of the weights is to help increase speed and you need speed in order to be more effective with the Jyuuken why was that Hinata waited until after she had her tenketsu sealed to remove them? In your mind was it because she was trying to keep back a secret weapon or for some other reason?

Viridian replied:

She didn't want word of them to get back to her father. Yes, it was a bad call on her part. She still doesn't think quite straight where he is concerned.

Tommy posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 8:35pm for A Wretched Recovery

Nice! I'm also quite pleased that you're not making Sasuke a Mary-Sue, like the manga/anime keep doing. I'm always annoyed when Naruto's victories are proclaimed "miracles", while Sasuke's are explained with his "skill and abilities". Anyway, babbling aside, I enjoyed the chapter. Make him kick Neji's ass next time! ;)

May The Words Be With You!

Tommy L.
aka
Fanfix

stormmaster posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 8:02pm for A Wretched Recovery

I must confess that I do not leave reviews about individual chapters frequently. I know, I know, I should. I prefer to wait to see where the author is going before commenting. This story is one of the few exceptions to that. I love the chapter. I love the setup for the next chapter. Even the fluff was meaningful to the overall story and character development.

But I felt cheated. The chapter felt too short, felt like it was more of a half chapter than a full one. The pacing of the chapters feels off, but I'm nitpicking. The quality of the story is superb, and I look forward to every new chapter with great anticipation. I actually prefer your world to canon.

The bottom line: Short, but good chapter; keep up the good work.

Viridian replied:

What are you talking about?

This chapter ranked #6 in length out of the 15 chapters so far, at 11597 words. It definitely wasn't 'half-sized'. Are you sure your web page loaded completely?

 

 

Mad Ant posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 7:42pm for A Wretched Recovery

YOSH !!!
I like the story. Looking forward to how it develops.

nuclear death frog posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 7:19pm for A Wretched Recovery

There is nothing technically wrong with this chapter. I might have seen one or two typos but I'm not entirely certain at this hour. It's past 4am and I need sleep.

The WAFF is cute and fuzzy and expected. Kurenai's reaction was an unpredicted but well-done twist. How Naruto reacted to it was also well-done.

Neji is predictably an ass. He was an ass until Naruto beat him to a pulp in canon, so an ass he must be here. Nothing wrong, in other words.

While I might have liked to see more reaction to Sasuke's defeat, I'm comfortable with it taking a backseat to the content of this chapter. In any event, Sarutobi's reaction to his villagers' idiocy is well-done.

I cannot find any real fault with this chapter. It is a welcome addition to this story.

The problem I am having is that the series this story is related to is so repugnant to me these days that I find it very difficult to care very much. When Aaron Nowack completed "One Hundred Days" recently, another story I liked, I gave an enthusiastic review, but I was also relieved because that story's completion removed a reason for me to care about the fandom.

I have nothing against the author of this story , and I have nothing against this story itself. But the setting...god help me, but I really just want to rage sometimes and I know there is absolutely no point.

Thanks.

Viridian replied:

If you like this interpretation better, then don't worry about where the canon is going.

Seriously.

It's a free country.

Do what makes you happy. There is no obligation to follow that canon storyline if it makes you upset. Just enjoy the fanfictions that go where you think the author should have.

Ronnie McMains posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 7:01pm for A Wretched Recovery

I believe Kurenai was incorrect; Shino did not make a public death threat against Neji. He was simply pointing out that, given his knowledge of both his teammates, Naruto was going to make sure Neji never hurt Hinata again, by any means necessary (Also, I have no doubt that if Naruto was going to kill Neji, the funeral would be closed-casket).

NaruHina fluff! Yay! Fluff is always welcome. It's too bad Naruto really can't drag that second-guessing out and beat it to death--it'd be terribly therapeutic for both of them.

Liked the bit

He supposed he must have released a little of that ‘killing intent’ stuff

...I'm surprised ANBU wasn't breaking down the door wondering how an entire army of missing-nin got into the hospital unnoticed ^_^. I'm sure it was many things, but I doubt it was 'little'.

Keep up the wonderful work, and don't keep us in suspense for the greatest smackdown since Yondaime vs. Kyuubi!

Pleather Boots posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 6:34pm for A Wretched Recovery

I was so excited to see an update notice in my inbox that I rushed over here to read. I didn't expect to see a lot of this background info, but I really did like it! From the Hokage, to Kurenai and Hinata, and Iruka it filled in the gap than canon overlooked as well as many fanfics. Sasuke's defeat was excellent and the reasons for them was rock solid.

I can't help but feel sorry for Naruto dealing with all the info on Hinata's family and no one to help break it down and air it out for him properly. Even if he is a shinobi, that's a lot of stuff for a 12yr old to try to solve. I'm all for bashing their heads in, but I suppose that wouldn't work.

Thanks for the update!

Darksnider05 posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 5:33pm for A Wretched Recovery

The Kyuubi in us all should scream for an Itachi on the Hyuuga Main Branch excluding Hinata.On second thought maim Neji.... that is all.

Kail posted a comment on Monday 7th April 2008 5:03pm for A Wretched Recovery

New Chapter! Oh the greatness of it!

Great points - Hinata's personal thoughts and feelings are *very* well done here. Only, personally, given that she's been working with Naruto very heavily in this world, maybe she should have a better self-image? Conversely, could it be that she's kicking herself all the harder for failing despite all the progress she's made with Naruto?

The peek into the Sandaime's thoughts was just the touch needed - showing the bigger picture defintely makes the world more alive. And when you add in the little accents you scattered there...well, it's the win.

Gai - he's loud. He's "power of youth." He's a training nutjob. He's the *last* ninja you'd expect to have a brain in his head - and that's why it's such a great thing to see him sneaking the xray out while distracting the hospital staff. Gai has never been shown (to my freely-confessed knowledge!) to use either ninjutsu or genjutsu - but canon he has to be able to. Reason? The big "go-to-sleep" in canon was a genjutsu that had to be dispelled. Besides, while Lee is proof that you can be incapable of performing nin- or genjutsu but still manipulate chakra to the point of punching your gates open, I'm pretty sure that Lee's the first taijutsu-only ninja in Konoha history.

Naruto vs Sasuke. This fight was over by oh say chapter 4. By that point Naruto was shown to be far in excess of canon capability. All this time later, with the rounding out of his capablities that he's gotten, the only way for Sasuke to give Naruto more than a light warm-up would be to pop the seal to the first level. Naruto would be unlikely to need the Kyuubi's chakra until Sasuke hopped himself up to level 2, if then. The speed and resistance training that Naruto's undergone has easily raised him to the level of canon-Lee at the prelims. And the Sharingan, unlike the Byakugan, has one unalterable weakness: it can't see more than the regular human field of vision. Put five T8-Narutos in the blind spot and that fight's over - even canon it's been shown that while you can disrupt a kage bunshin easily enough, they really do have a mass to cause damage (ref Gaara getting his trash kicked in the forest - if bunshin were so easily dispelled, they'd have blown themselves up when they hit him. Maybe kage bunshin have heavy chakra weaves for fists and feet to soak up the blow and not destroy themselves? Ah well, a question for the creator).

At any rate, desperately waiting for the next chapter, and looking most definitely forward to Neji learning the meaning of PAIN.

Ja!