Content Harry Potter Naruto

Reviews

  • Previous
  • Next

Cassandra30 posted a comment on Tuesday 16th August 2011 2:08am for Sirius, Spectacles, and a Quidditch Spectacle

Ack! Sirius is in danger! Nice flying! Great game! Love the idea of Nimbus supporting the Gryffindor Team!

Sterling posted a comment on Friday 7th May 2010 1:10am for Sirius, Spectacles, and a Quidditch Spectacle

"Harry was tempted for a moment to just tell them that one of their heroes was locked up in Azkaban and then stand back. On the other hand, the Ministry might need that prison again some day."

This has been an excellent story. "Harry goes back in time" is a pretty common story premise. However, your superb writing skills and obvious wit make this story a joy to read. (as evidenced by little gems like the above quote.)

Potter&Granger posted a comment on Thursday 21st May 2009 2:48pm for Sirius, Spectacles, and a Quidditch Spectacle

Great History, that part when harry thought about the why he has come back when he says that if he dies taking Voldemort with him would leave behind a better world, (after a bit of thought i think i may starting to figure out where this history is going), if every place has been destroyed and everyone Harry had come to love has died, in the original timeline, it wouldn't bring balance to both, the timelines and fate that Harry dies once he'd fullfiled the prophecy?. Despite, of course, wath effect could have that on Ginny though.

P/S: Two Doubts:

1)Either will Harry tell Dumbledore about his travel back and all of his meddling any time soon, or he will not at all?
2) How will Dumbledore react if he did?

To adress this doubts i'll leave my email adress wich is the follow:

benny_gaggero@hotmail.com

mantis posted a comment on Monday 13th April 2009 7:56pm for Sirius, Spectacles, and a Quidditch Spectacle

Harry's "little talk" with Percy was very refreshing -- I especially loved "your license to be an utter prat gets revoked."

"but her mother was formally disinherited before she died." I don't think there was anything in canon to give the impression that Andromeda was dead, even before she made an appearance, very much alive, in DH; I recall Tonks talking of her parents in the present tense in OotP.

"On the other hand, the Ministry might need that prison again some day." Heh! Can't wait to see Gred and Forge's reactions when they learn that Sirius and Lupin are Padfoot and Moony. Don't think that happened on stage in canon -- in fact, there's no indication that they ever made the connection, though you'd think it would be hard not to when they spent most of a summer at 12 Grimmauld Place while Sirius was living there and Lupin was visiting regularly.

The locket was a very nice touch, and it's interesting that Ginny is the first to see through to the heart of Harry's manipulation of events. Not OOC, she's a very perceptive girl in canon -- she may not match Hermione for academic intellect, but her social/emotional intelligence is far more acute. (Not that that's too difficult -- Hermione shows many of the symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome.)

Luna's glasses were another nice touch, especially since it was Hermione that noticed the problem and took her to see Madam Pomfrey. Those two never got along well in canon, largely for the same reasons I never liked Luna much as a character (I share Hermione's impatience for people who believe in bizarre propositions based on little or no evidence). I did find the description of her bedroom at home in Deathly Hallows very touching, though, and the idea that she and Hermione, despite their very divergent world views, would empathize with one another's past loneliness seems quite plausible.

"Discreetly intimidating" -- yeah, that's Minerva McGonagall all right. Interesting that Harry is developing a friendlier relationship with her than with Dumbledore in this timeline.

Crookshanks vs. Mrs. Norris: no contest. Heh.

Also interesting that Luna should prove rather precocious in terms of romance (if that's even the right word -- "pair-bonding" might be more accurate for what she's doing with Neville). She seems to understand what she feels about Neville and where she wants it to lead much more clearly than Neville, Ron, Hermione, or even Ginny understand their feelings for Luna, each other, and Harry respectively.

You've got Lee Jordan's style of Quidditch commentary down pat -- and McGonagall's reaction to that particular expression of his bias rings true, too. She's not entirely unbiased herself, after all...

"My student will be attended to by an accredited healer or medi-wizard. You, Professor Lockhart, are neither of those and I will thank you to put away that wand." Nice... it's hard to cheer for Severus Snape most of the time, but when he's shutting down Lockhart... go Snape, go! I loved the dueling club scene in the movie of CoS because of the expressions on Ron and Harry's faces -- you can see them thinking something like, "I never thought we'd be rooting for Snape, but..."

"Gryffindor Lions" -- the Quidditch teams are never called by the house mascot names like that in canon, but now that I think about it, that's seems kind of odd. American customs would dictate that they would be called the Lions, the Serpents, the Eagles, and the Badgers. Do British school sports teams not use names like that?

Off to the next chapter, to look for clues to the identity of the agent-in-place.

Jizzle posted a comment on Monday 3rd March 2008 6:02pm for Sirius, Spectacles, and a Quidditch Spectacle

"also meant that Harry look could past" doesn't make any sense. Maybe look and could are in inverted order?

Padfoot posted a comment on Saturday 29th December 2007 7:31pm for Sirius, Spectacles, and a Quidditch Spectacle

I'm here to give an objective review of my good thoughts and bad. Your story premise is definitely good and has some intriguing qualities. I was definitely anxious to see the direction that you took and for the most part wasn't let down. Angry and vindictive Snape? Awesome. Sarcastic Harry? Even more awesome. Your war torn Harry makes us feel for the the character and commands some respect. Length of chapters are good as well as spelling and grammar for the most part. And everything seems to be flowing very well update wise.

Now the bad. I am giving this review on on the Sirius and Quidditch chapter because in all honesty I have to stop reading. And it saddens me. But if I have to read one more interaction with your Harry and Ginny, I may just lose it. I am not a particular shipper and can read most any relationship pairing if it is written well. That being said I have come to the conclusion that this story is an AU based off of canon after book 6. Your references to Ginny in your original time line and her comparison to the alternate are just ridiculous. If you are going to put in all canon references for the original timeline (DD dead Snape traitor Horcruxes etc), keep Ginny the same. You make her out to be 'the only one that understood him.' and 'the best at reading him' when, as of book 6 (and 7 for that matter), those assumptions are pure crap. Ginny was at best a damsel in distress and a distraction. Her human counter part had 5 count em, 5, lines in the first 4 movies. And as far as the end of the series canon goes, we're supposed to understand that they forge some kind of relationship after Hogwarts and end up together. But you had her killed off in what would be her 6th year, if Neville was leading the DA during the Massacre. So where and when was this connection formed? As well as the "naughty thoughts" that Harry was having and was having trouble because he was 11? If you want to make your Ginny in the alternate time line like that go ahead, that's why it's AU. But if you're going to stick to canon (deaths, parings and major plot points) then stick to it. I don't mind Ginny per se, but when you make her out to be more than she was in the frame of reference that you use, it gets ridiculous.

All in all I was saddened. I really started to enjoy this fic and thought it had so much potential. And it just feels wasted on the relationships. And I'm started to wonder why this is Adult only rated. Granted they are 12 (so thankfully you haven't gone there yet) I am just curious as to why you chose to post that rating when clearly your not going to do anything on that level for quite some time. You have obviously shown some commitment and I commend you for it. But your character dynamics need a lot of work. Either that or you need to get over SUPER! Ginny. Ginny is a strong passionate woman. She is not the perfect ideal woman for Harry, none of them are. But JKR can't write romance, which she admits, so her pairings leave a lot to be desired.

Viridian replied:

 

Well, I'm not going to call you an idiot right off the bat, but for God's sake get control of yourself.

 

You are seeing recollections of future-Ginny based off of Merged-Harry's memories. Do you think, even for a damn minute, that he is going to be in any way objective about her? Of course he's going to be incredibly sappy. If would be bizarre if he wasn't. Future-Harry was so imbalanced that he committed suicide on the off chance that he might get a 'do-over'. He's been grieving for 'his Ginny' and everyone else he's lost for thirteen years while watching his entire world go to hell.

 

In canon, she has shown moments of empathy... Like when she said he wouldn't be happy unless he was chasing Voldemort. I see that as understanding that Harry feels responsible (no matter how irrational that is) and comprehending the way he tends to flog himself with guilt (like he did after Cedric and Sirius died). With Dumbledore gone, it really was up to him now, and he'd have trouble living with himself if he continued to duck what he saw as his responsibilities. She also accepted that she couldn't help him much (yet) and stayed at Hogwarts at his insistence. (When she hasn't been all that submissive to her family's strictures as she got older.)

 

As you can no doubt guess, this was written well before DH, and DH's plot is NOT going to be the bible for the future timeline. Snape and Draco being killed by Voldemort is a big change right there (he saw through the ruse, as mentioned in an author note a while back). Regular letters back and forth seemed more than possible, both with the Order and Ginny. Even Moody isn't daft enough to ignore the morale value of those.

 

The reason this story has an adult rating is that some of the fifth-year and later stuff is going to get fairly nasty, so I'm erring on the side of caution. Hell, an accurate portrayal of PTSD is sufficient to get a viewer discretion warning on television here in the States.

 

I'm saddened that you're saddened, but if you can't discriminate between a character's voice and the author's voice in a narrative, or, you know, use your imagination, then I think the rest of this story will be utterly wasted on you.

 

 

TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Saturday 24th November 2007 3:37pm for Sirius, Spectacles, and a Quidditch Spectacle

Good chapter. Wonder what that was at the end?

gunny

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Wednesday 1st November 2006 1:36am for Sirius, Spectacles, and a Quidditch Spectacle

I loved Harry telling off Percy.

The discussion of 'disappearing' Sirius was chilling.

Fine work.

Christina C. Keimig posted a comment on Tuesday 21st March 2006 1:11am for Sirius, Spectacles, and a Quidditch Spectacle

Okay, now THAT is a thousand times better! :-)
Even more brilliant now that one can read it without getting dizzy. ;-)

Christina C. Keimig posted a comment on Monday 20th March 2006 3:08pm for Sirius, Spectacles, and a Quidditch Spectacle

This chapter was brilliant, content-wise (I especially enjoyed Snape preventing Lockhart's bone-removing idiocy), but PLEASE run a spelling/grammar check and repost it because any editing comments/suggestions that might have been made to you are still there, so there are passages that are literally incomprehensible...

Viridian replied:

Grr... those weren't visible in my editor. I've reloaded the whole thing and that should fix it. Thanks for the heads up!

Christopher Estep posted a comment on Sunday 19th March 2006 4:03pm for Sirius, Spectacles, and a Quidditch Spectacle

Anyone for fried Slytherins? The Gryffies, complete with new brooms, absolutely *smoked* the Serpents in Quidditch (and it's a Slytherin Beater, rather than Harry, that got mugged by the Bludger). Also, Dobby is nowhere in sight. Harry explains to Percy why Neville was Rather Ticked with Draco. But who is the DE mole at Hogwarts?