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Vrzepka posted a comment on Sunday 17th February 2019 3:06am for Life, Death, & Quidditch

Really enjoyed this chapter

sylvelle posted a comment on Sunday 20th January 2013 11:12pm for Life, Death, & Quidditch

Love this story, quite inventive for a time travel.

Can't wait till you finish it.

Gogirl posted a comment on Monday 29th June 2009 1:50pm for Life, Death, & Quidditch

What about Snape being good? That's the only thing I have a problem with....

mantis posted a comment on Monday 27th April 2009 4:13pm for Life, Death, & Quidditch

"openly flaunt my authority..." The word you want there is flout, not flaunt; to flaunting means boastfully displaying, e.g. Malfoy flaunted his wealth by buying Nimbus 2001s for the entire Slytherin Quidditch team.

I like that, to Neville, Draco is "Bellatrix's nephew." The little ferret isn't even a significant enemy in and of himself, it's his connection to the Dark B*tch that makes him worth the trouble to thrash.

A bit rude of Harry to snoop on Neville's conversation with his Gran, unless Neville wanted him to be there; he should be careful about violating his friends' trust in any way, especially now that he doesn't need to conceal The Secret (TM) from them.

Interesting that Harry's future memories are starting to fade. Probably a good thing, on the whole, as long as he remembers the key facts; the details of his friends and their interactions are less useful by now anyway, given how different they've all become as a result of his careful manipulations. He's already used most of the important memories, anyway, taking out Quirrell, diverting Dobby, saving Ginny from the Chamber, and having Sirius collect the Horcruxes. (The locket, at least, should have been ridiculously easy, sitting in its cabinet at Twelve Grimmauld Place -- had you noticed that? Alert fans picked up on the passing reference to an old locket in OotP and correctly predicted that it would be revealed as the Horcrux stolen by Regulus A. Black in DH. Actually, if the Cup was in its canonical location it might have been surprisingly easy, too: the Gringotts Goblins wouldn't necessarily turn Sirius in, and as Bellatrix's cousin they might even allow him access to her vault.)

"shooting sparks at moving targets..." Heh! I have the Trio, Sirius and Lupin using wand sparks to practice aerial dueling in my own fic, since any real offensive spell, even Expelliarmus, is dangerous when flying.

Nice to see some indication that Fred and George are actually two people with distinct personalities, rather than one mind inhabiting two bodies. George was slightly more perceptive and responsible in canon, I thought, just as he is here. I've noticed in the more recent chapters that they don't finish each other's sentences so much, either.

I really liked the memory Harry used to conjure his Patronus this time; I was, as I mentioned before, deeply moved by that scene in the Chamber after he revealed The Secret to his friends.

Fate's getting ugly -- Harry's broom being destroyed at his first match in Year 3 is one thing, but in the original timeline there were no deaths at the school until Cedric -- and his, technically, occurred off campus. In fact, the first death at Hogwarts was Dumbledore's (unless you count the Death Eater who snuffed it in the fight right before that -- I don't). I like Melissa, too; it would appear literally true now that "the only good Slytherin is a dead Slytherin."

I assume it was "the agent in place" that attacked both Harry and Melissa; was he perhaps that other prefect she argued with? I had thought it was Nott, but he wasn't in the Slytherin stands at the time of the attack -- he was up in the air, flying Seeker for the Serpents. Did he get the Snitch, or was the match called due to the attack on Harry? I would think that if they postponed a match because one team's Seeker was attacked the week before by a party unknown, they'd have to interrupt one where a Seeker was attacked mid-game by someone definitely from the opposing team's House. Of course, they could award the Snitch and its 150 points to the attacked Seeker's team by default -- I would think that would be the best way to discourage such violent cheating in the future.

Good idea, setting up anti-Dementor wards for the school... and a very good idea playing fair with Goldfarb. I have no doubt Harry's working relationship with a senior Gringotts goblin will continue to come in handy as long as he retains Goldfarb's trust.

mantis posted a comment on Monday 27th April 2009 4:12pm for Life, Death, & Quidditch

"openly flaunt my authority..." The word you want there is flout, not flaunt; to flaunting means boastfully displaying, e.g. Malfoy flaunted his wealth by buying Nimbus 2001s for the entire Slytherin Quidditch team.

I like that, to Neville, Draco is "Bellatrix's nephew." The little ferret isn't even a significant enemy in and of himself, it's his connection to the Dark B*tch that makes him worth the trouble to thrash.

A bit rude of Harry to snoop on Neville's conversation with his Gran, unless Neville wanted him to be there; he should be careful about violating his friends' trust in any way, especially now that he doesn't need to conceal The Secret (TM) from them.

Interesting that Harry's future memories are starting to fade. Probably a good thing, on the whole, as long as he remembers the key facts; the details of his friends and their interactions are less useful by now anyway, given how different they've all become as a result of his careful manipulations. He's already used most of the important memories, anyway, taking out Quirrell, diverting Dobby, saving Ginny from the Chamber, and having Sirius collect the Horcruxes. (The locket, at least, should have been ridiculously easy, sitting in its cabinet at Twelve Grimmauld Place -- had you noticed that? Alert fans picked up on the passing reference to an old locket in OotP and correctly predicted that it would be revealed as the Horcrux stolen by Regulus A. Black in DH. Actually, if the Cup was in its canonical location it might have been surprisingly easy, too: the Gringotts Goblins wouldn't necessarily turn Sirius in, and as Bellatrix's cousin they might even allow him access to her vault.)

"shooting sparks at moving targets..." Heh! I have the Trio, Sirius and Lupin using wand sparks to practice aerial dueling in my own fic, since any real offensive spell, even Expelliarmus, is dangerous when flying.

Nice to see some indication that Fred and George are actually two people with distinct personalities, rather than one mind inhabiting two bodies. George was slightly more perceptive and responsible in canon, I thought, just as he is here. I've noticed in the more recent chapters that they don't finish each other's sentences so much, either.

I really liked the memory Harry used to conjure his Patronus this time; I was, as I mentioned before, deeply moved by that scene in the Chamber after he revealed The Secret to his friends.

Fate's getting ugly -- Harry's broom being destroyed at his first match in Year 3 is one thing, but in the original timeline there were no deaths at the school until Cedric -- and his, technically, occurred off campus. In fact, the first death at Hogwarts was Dumbledore's (unless you count the Death Eater who snuffed it in the fight right before that -- I don't). I like Melissa, too; it would appear literally true now that "the only good Slytherin is a dead Slytherin."

I assume it was "the agent in place" that attacked both Harry and Melissa; was he perhaps that other prefect she argued with? I had thought it was Nott, but he wasn't in the Slytherin stands at the time of the attack -- he was up in the air, flying Seeker for the Serpents. Did he get the Snitch, or was the match called due to the attack on Harry? I would think that if they postponed a match because one team's Seeker was attacked the week before by a party unknown, they'd have to interrupt one where a Seeker was attacked mid-game by someone definitely from the opposing team's House. Of course, they could award the Snitch and its 150 points to the attacked Seeker's team by default -- I would think that would be the best way to discourage such violent cheating in the future.

Good idea, setting up anti-Dementor wards for the school... and a very good idea playing fair with Goldfarb. I have no doubt Harry's working relationship with a senior Gringotts goblin will continue to come in handy as long as he retains Goldfarb's trust.very

TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Monday 26th November 2007 4:22pm for Life, Death, & Quidditch

Very good chapter. I haven't read DH and I may never read it. I don't like how she was taking the story in the last two or three books. If I want to feel bad or be depressed I can read the newspaper. I read to feel good.

gunny

Rick D Gale posted a comment on Saturday 24th November 2007 2:50pm for Life, Death, & Quidditch

You have always been one of a handfull of authors whos writting always stands head-and-shoulders above the rest.

Well written, well paced, well thougtout with attention to the needed details to keep the story moving along.

Harry is playing a dangerous game here, and he should know that as he changes the timeline, other people are going to die. Your treatment of Harry and the others around him show a pleasent level of maturity that would be hard to find in real life - but it fits Harry.

Thank you for your continued writing.

Rick

timmerator posted a comment on Wednesday 21st November 2007 3:33am for Life, Death, & Quidditch

Man am I bored!? I haven't been able to find much since your last that piques my interest. Since I'm a reader, not a writer, I will refrain from commenting on your writing(other then to say your work flows nicely) your version of HJP(squared) and the G6 crowd has kept me guessing and quite anxious for your next. I've found myself re-reading your stuff just to keep from resorting to watching TV. I know I've said this before but,Your doing a fine job please contiue. Enough with the ego stroking... Your Great! Bla Bla Bla Your Stories are Great! Bla Bla... I'm serious... Really! Did I tell your I'm really bored?

Thanks
Tim

drkjester posted a comment on Monday 19th November 2007 10:58am for Life, Death, & Quidditch

Great story, and I can't wait for more. Please don't be forever with it.

BDSanta2001 posted a comment on Wednesday 14th November 2007 12:30pm for Life, Death, & Quidditch

Wow, just...wow! I can't wait for more!

mekareami posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 8:07pm for Life, Death, & Quidditch

So glad to see this tale has not bee abandoned :) Thank you very much the update and I eagerly await the next installment.

grovepjp posted a comment on Monday 12th November 2007 2:18am for Life, Death, & Quidditch

The only thing i am willing to debate is when the next update are.

I have read this fic three times. End to end. I believe it is one of the best out there.

Keep it up. It is good work and i find it very enjoyable.

df

Rexnos posted a comment on Sunday 11th November 2007 3:32pm for Life, Death, & Quidditch

This is probably some of the best fan fiction I've ever read. It combines a great deal of thought with a considerable amount of writing talent while still managing to use the characters that gave this series so much allure without changing them too much. This story is darker and more mature than the original series and I can't profess how much I've enjoyed it.

It seems like it's been a while since there's been any updates on this piece, so I can only hope it's still in progress. I'd hate to see such a great story waste away. I understand that real life takes priority, so I'm not going to curse you or rush you, just put us readers down gently if you plan to leave it be. There's nothing worse than waiting for an update that will never come...

Anyway, this is an amazing piece regardless and I can't thank you enough for letting me read it.

Later,
Rex

Terry Chang posted a comment on Wednesday 7th November 2007 4:31pm for Life, Death, & Quidditch

just reread this story (the whole thing again). i personally was waiting for the story to get to a true divergent storyline, and you really seem to know how to turn it up a notch. i was wondering, do you have a diagram on your wall or something showing how things have changed and will continue to change? also, am looking foward to how you include the DH book into this story. i'll head on over to you're yahoo group to see what discussions have been had.

anyways i'll continue on over to you're naruto stories and will leave reviews there when i'm done rereading them again (a few times over).

kiam posted a comment on Monday 29th October 2007 3:57am for Life, Death, & Quidditch

I really don't wana hurry you but please pick up the pace. I'm dying to read the next chapter!

kiam

Adriana posted a comment on Sunday 28th October 2007 1:37pm for Life, Death, & Quidditch

I loved it, it's a nice twists to the story. The only thing I think needs adjustment is when Harry and Ginny get together. I love the two of them together, and seeing them skirt around each other is annoying to certain point. But hey, this is your story not mine so you can do what you want with it. I can't wait for more!

CharlieWeasley posted a comment on Thursday 25th October 2007 3:42am for Life, Death, & Quidditch

This is by far my favorite HP fanfic (and I have read hundreds)...is there anyway you can put more focus on this so we get chapters faster? I realize that now that the HP series is finished your interests may have began to wonder, but this story is too good not to finish.

Thanks and good writing

kiam posted a comment on Monday 22nd October 2007 1:48am for Life, Death, & Quidditch

Absolutely breathtaking so far!
It's bloody brilliant!
When's the next one out? I just can't wait to read it!

DSDragon posted a comment on Thursday 13th September 2007 3:53pm for Life, Death, & Quidditch

I normally try to avoid WIP fics like the plague, but the summary for this one was so intriguing that I couldn't resist.

I'm glad I didn't.

William Wells posted a comment on Sunday 2nd September 2007 11:52am for Life, Death, & Quidditch

Good evening,

I've enjoyed your work immensely thus far, and I would have to say that it has provided me with some inspiration for a piece that I have been working on along similar lines (although the time traveler is Draco Malfoy, and he keeps his body).

Still, I think you manage to convey the war shocked personality fairly well. One of the greater difficulties that I have with many works such as yours is that the person in question seems to be able to get over their issues very quickly.

So far, I believe you have handled it quite well, and I hope that you continue to have them be a prevelant issue for the character, perhaps even after the story is completed. It seems to be something that wouldn't just disappear instantly.

Also, I commend your take on Harry's greater vulnerability to Dementors. Usually such transposed elder characters are so much better than they should be, it's nice to see a weakness. If I may make a humble recommendation to play on Harry's emotional vulnerabilities even further. You already have had some great ones, but it would be nice to see him in a situation where he really does need his far saner friends to save his bacon.

I would say that there are some minor dialogue quirks in the earlier chapters that display an unusual degree of diction for a group of 11-12 year olds, but I've always found that teen to pre-teen dialogue is one of the hardest darn things I've ever had to write. The middle ground between childish phrasing and behavior and adult action is hard to balance.

Overall, I think you handled it well, but I confess that some of the characters (such as Goldfarb) might have been a bit more curious when an 11 year old talks like he's in his twenties.

Of course, I understand not wanting to get yourself bogged down in unimportant plot that doesn't move the story forward. Suspension of disbelief is both real and necessary.

Perhaps just something to watch for in the future. It would be nice to see some incredulous and highly suspicious reactions from the occasional side character. Perhaps even building up Harry's 'freak' status in the second time line. I'm sure someone like Parkinson could twist such a thing to her advantage.

Overall, I'm enjoying it. I will keep with it to the end. You did a good job of keeping my interest, and I really like where you've taken the new plot so far.

Look forward to the updates.

-W.W.