Tildessmoo posted a comment on Monday 30th October 2006 1:14pm for Harsh Words

That... Was absolutely the best version of "Harry tells everyone what's really up in the ministry and the wizarding world" that I've ever seen. Which is quite an accomplishment, considering how many people noticed that glaring omission in Rowling's version of events. It's also probably the best version of "Rita Skeeter interviews Harry Potter," although a couple others might be so sensational as to merit a co-first place...

regdc posted a comment on Friday 27th October 2006 10:12pm for Harsh Words

Hi Viridian,

Another great chapter, which is, as always, a pleasure to read.

Please take your time to write as quality is far more important than quantity and a plot this complex must really take some doing to maintain!

I love the way that you are taking the H/G relationship, your Ginny is so determined and quietly supportive of Harry.

The way that Harry accioed the dementors into the wards was just so original.

I get so sick of reading stories where the monopoly of force is always on the deatheaters side while Dumbledore goes on about the sactity of human life and everyone just uses stupefy which just means that the only deatheaters who die do so by tripping over their own feet!!

Your scenes of future Harry fighting and killing deatheaters show that even the good guys have to do things which are morally wrong, like kill, because the alternative is far far worse.

The interview with Rita was just great, it's brilliant to see Harry using her to stir up the wizarding world from its mire of sloth and corruption.

Harry has really put the cat in the pigeons now!!

I wonder what Dumbledore's reaction to it will be?

I liked the way that Harry tried to cheer up Luna and I think it's high time that Neville stood up to his grandmother!!

Anyway, I am sorry for not reviewing more often, please rest assured that your story is my all-time favourite piece of fan-fiction and every chapter is well-worh the wait.

In fact, it is so good that I find myself re-reading the story every now and again as it is such a pleasure to read!!

katooken posted a comment on Friday 27th October 2006 7:19pm for Harsh Words

Hi,

I really, really love this story, I m totally hooked.
Allthough I do hope that JK isn t going to kill everybody off in the books.
I guess she won t dare to do that because she would be getting an awful lot of threatening mails after that.

Congratulations with your work

Kato

PS: if my english gets a bit goofy, sorry about that I m not from an English speaking country.

brad posted a comment on Friday 27th October 2006 4:43pm for Harsh Words

Very enjoyable chapter. I'm intrigued at the twists involved in managing what Remus may and may not know, given that Dumbledore will still be at Hogwarts although Snape will be gone. Harry basically using Remus as a 'camera' or medium by which he conveyed his warning message to Dumbledore was cute.

Although I'm worried that Harry doesn't seem to be concerned about any other Legilimens - an Auror, a Ministry official? - coming across Remus and finding out about Sirius. Just a routine scan of all his known friends in a last attempt by the Aurors to find the missing fugitive could see Remus unconsciously betray his mate.

Glad to see that the wards were able to keep the Dementors at bay, as I was considering they might at the end of last chapter. For all of Harry's power I enjoyed your recognition of the practicalities of his (not) being able to defend himself against so many individual dementor assaults.

So, how was it that he was able to ward off 'more than a hundred' dementors in the original PoA timeline, then ... ? :-)

No extreme H/G angst or emotion in this chapter - as you have done so well in those prior, making me quite happy to believe in OBHWF for the purposes of this story :-) - but the small signs of their relationship, Ginny's holding his hand, their little chat, was very nice. I wonder, though, how easy it would be for Harry to forgo his 'saving people thing', particularly with the images in his head of their deaths, and actually carry out his promise to involve them in his adventures? Is this maybe going to be a recurring theme - and contasting the more able Ginny & Co. this time around - throughout the story? Of course, Harry only hesitated a second when he let them come along to the chamber ... but that was to rescue the one he loves above all others.

Poor Luna, poor Neville!!! I'm really curious as to how that's going to resolve. Somehow I doubt Mrs. Longbottom will allow Neville to back to the status quo upon the resumption of school at Hogwarts? On the other hand, "I don't think he's afraid of this grandmother anymore, either". Heh. Fireworks ahead?

Why is Harry hiding his ability to cast a patronus from his friends? It seems to be hypocritical, going against his promise to be totally open with them, plus it denies them (like Ron the strategist) knowledge that might prove useful in an emergency situation in marshalling their forces. I don't like that at all, Harry!

Continuing to enjoy this top story, thank you!

Viridian replied:

Ligilimency doesn't seem to be that commonly known/used. Remember the lengths Hermione had to go to in her research. Also, remember Auror Pratchett's words to Harry - a lot of Aurors aren't looking that hard.

"So, how was it that he was able to ward off 'more than a hundred' dementors in the original PoA timeline, then ... ? :-)"

Harry wasn't warding them off of himself. He was well clear of their attentions and had plenty of time to cast his charm - from off to the side. That's a lot easier than trying to do it while they are charging at you, and vectoring in from multiple possible directions. Running back to the wards was a LOT safer course of action, in this instance.

Harry promised to try - and their growing competence is making this a little easier. But it's going to be one of the challenges he has to deal with this year.

Why do you think he's hiding it from his friends? He even mentioned it by name to Ginny and explained what it was. But he has to limit his precociousness a little around Remus, for now.

Arkeus posted a comment on Friday 27th October 2006 3:33am for Harsh Words

Grin. As always, your work shows. Something that stayed with me for a short while though: i am glad you said nearly impossible for the dark mark bit, as maybe the next dark lord strentgh could be that he knows how to do it :/

Mrs Alfred posted a comment on Thursday 26th October 2006 7:26pm for Harsh Words

Fantastic! I really enjoyd the newspaper interview. Thank you so much for continuing this story. :-)

Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Thursday 26th October 2006 8:48am for Harsh Words

Great chapter. Loved the destruction of the dementors. There's always something satisfying in their deaths.

Loved the interview. That is going to have some big repercussions. I've been debating whether it would be a better story if you were to give us glimpses of what Fudge and Malfoy are planning or if we have to wonder, like Harry. You're story (but I do like seeing multiple points of view, and feel that that is a failure of the original stories, not a strength).

I'm looking forward to the next school year.

Thanks for writing this.

Tom A.

<insert joke about deadline here. Nothing I came up with sounded funny>

John Clark posted a comment on Thursday 26th October 2006 5:26am for Harsh Words

wow.

the missus

liquidfyre posted a comment on Thursday 26th October 2006 12:17am for Harsh Words

damn good chapter i cant wait to see what happens when the story is published people gonna fliiiiip hehe

also about the nasty reviews and such screw them with a 2 ton jackhammer

that being said update soon OR ELSE!!!!!

cackles insanely and begins to sharpen his spork with a wicked glint in his eye

err wait thats what not i mean

offers you a cookie to update soon

much better CACKLE

Alorkin posted a comment on Wednesday 25th October 2006 11:12am for Harsh Words

Another great chapter! The opening attrack was well done and easily brought forth the deperation of a life flight. Harry's rescue of Padfoot-cum-Padfoot's rescue of Harry is exactly what it feels like in a firefight. Fear, liberally spiced with terror.
Obviously, the ministry (read: Lucius Malfoy) has used Wormy's information, to specifically target Paddy. There is no other way that the dementors would recognize Sirius in his animagus form. Dementors are blind. If they cannot sense the more primitive thoughts of a dog, (canon) it only stands to reason that they had to have been told. the one3 pwrson other than Harry and remus, (and possibly Dumbles) is Peter.
The collected Horcruxes. Likely Voldy IS aware that the cup has been taken, as that's what tipped him off the first time. Sirius could be right as to his level of competence in warding, but if it was my skin on the line, I wouldn't count on it.
Harry certainly has opened up a can full of worms. Fudge is gonna have a heart attack...(HEY! There's an idea!) Malfoy as well. In fact, as Arthur said, Harry's made himself some very dangerous enemies. It's likely that almost all the purebloods are in Voldy's camp, and those who aren't are somewhat less than effective. (apologies to Weasley, Longbottom and Patil.) As always, I eagerly await the next chapter of 'Nightmares'. Alorkin

Jenni posted a comment on Wednesday 25th October 2006 11:11am for Harsh Words

Very well written and an interesting twist in the progress of the story.

Thanks for updating...

Hot48cricket posted a comment on Wednesday 25th October 2006 9:05am for Harsh Words

Wonderful!! (I hope I haven't thrown a flame at you - I try and be positive in the reviews I give!)

I wish I was rich enough to pay your salary (and other fan-fic writers!!) to get you to update faster, but I know Real Life comes first!!!

Update when you can - but I still wish my speedy typing fingers could help you!

harrysfriend posted a comment on Wednesday 25th October 2006 8:58am for Harsh Words

I waited till I read the whole story to date before commenting. I must say that this story is amazing. I cant wait for it to continue.

oldman posted a comment on Wednesday 25th October 2006 8:53am for Harsh Words

Hey you really are "throwing a stone into the pond" to see what the ripples uncover. I have to confess you do have to keep reminding us how young Harry's body is versus how old his self is! kepp it coming; it is a very good read. thank you.
Oldman

Leticia posted a comment on Wednesday 25th October 2006 8:47am for Harsh Words

I'm afraid that the majority of this review is extremely outdated because I wrote it on a plane several months ago when the story had not yet reached the stage where Harry had told his friends anything. I then got distracted by being on holiday and then back at University and only recently remembered that I never posted it.

Belatedly I offer you my disjointed gushing-

First of all, I just absolutely adore this story. I mean really really, I do. If I could choose any piece of writing to be magically completed it would be this (even above Book 7, but that’s mostly because I have a great deal of faith in JKR finishing up by herself and a great deal of abandoned fanfiction bookmarked). It combines all the elements I love in a piece of Harry Potter fiction better than I thought possible- an interesting unexpected plot, a mature complex Harry, angst with a good deal of hopefulness for the better, non-schmaltzy romance, Snape bashing, Draco bashing (literally), total lack of Dumbledore sentimentality, time travel, strong friendships and the most interesting Percy I’ve ever read… to name but a few. I have always wanted to read something like this plot, and lots of things have touched on it, but no one has ever done it this well before! Anyway, this gushing is not very constructive, so I’ll move onto specifics.

From the very first chapter (and man, is that a good opening chapter), the scenes of the future/past/whatever are truly haunting. While I have no first hand experience of what actually enduring the sort of trauma that Harry went through, I can’t imagine that you are far off from the general state of mind. You can just feel the deep weariness (and the post-traumatic stress) from the very first page and the "not thinking about, really not thinking about it" attitude that would be needed. It’s not overdone, it’s not underdone, it’s just perfect and it captures that stoic strength that I love in Harry. You also maintain this very well through the story. In similar plotlines I’ve read, shell-shocked Harry often either recovers to soon, which belittles what he has gone through, or drags on in pools of misery so long it gets a little dull. You manage to maintain the hidden depths of sadness, even when Harry is happy he is sad and has to "actively concentrate on his happiness".

The small glimpses into details of events from the future also serve as an interesting change of pace and are done excellently, not going for the oft seen "there was a terrible haunting war where everyone died but I won’t go into it because I can’t think of enough original ways for it to happen", but putting in real scenes that do slot together to give an unusually clear vision of Wizard society and Harry’s support system crumbling. However, since these are incorporated in the forms of flashbacks inserted into an almost blank slate, their bleakness does not overwhelm the reader, but just adds an extra depth to the story. From what I’ve seen it also seems quite plausible. It’s unsurprising to see that the whole America bails Britain out when it has almost destroyed itself thing isn’t just confined to muggle wars.

The timeline re-run is also being done very well. Things are changing enough that there is a great deal of tension but not so much that it becomes totally alien and how it could have happened becomes unclear. Differences do seem to have stemmed from changes Harry made, and I have faith in those that have not yet been fully explained having logical answers. Cho Chang’s injury is especially intriguing, almost more so than "the agent in place" (and their possible Seer?), the mysterious de-Obliviator of Vernon, Snape’s assignment and Draco’s escalating behaviour, because I cannot think what it means, but it is clearly an important plot point and an attempt to get things back to the way that they "should be". The obstacle of Snape’s Legilimency is also an inspired plot point. It allows Harry to be an honest, likeable character but also gives him the time to manipulate his friends into different enough versions of themselves to make the story truly fascinating.

There is also tension, especially at the beginning, not just in terms of what will happen with the plot, but the question of if anything will happen with the plot. A very good job is done for the first several chapters of making it unclear whether Fate is immutable and exactly how far Harry will actually be able to go with his alterations. Indeed, it is still unclear exactly what role "Fate" is playing in all this. It seems that things become easier almost as soon as Harry decides to try working with, and not against Fate, but as it is mostly his attitude not his actions that change after this it seems like Fate might have some consciousness, and was perhaps a little annoyed at the upstart boy, before it relented. Or perhaps changing Fate is like peeling off a piece of sellotape. It’s really hard at first to pick up the edges, and you usually end up damaging your nails, but once you get a bit of a grip on it it starts to come off easier and easier until eventually it peels off with hardly any effort and you don’t even recognize the events around you any more. Or maybe I’m reading too deep. At any rate, immutability is no longer an issue! "He remembered another eleven year old girl putting her elbow in the butter dish. Things are changing, he thought with a sense of wonder".

Snape generally is masterfully done. You’ve really captured his pettiness! As well as, I concede, how dangerous he is. I won’t pretend that I wasn’t disappointed when Harry ruled out cold-blooded murder so soon in the story, but I suppose this does make it more interesting in the long term. I just would have liked to read it… Anyway, you have drawn attention to just how awful his Legilimency is for all the students. All those things, as Harry muses, that he *knew* and that he blamed Harry for anyway. There is no justification. I admit I’d only ever thought properly about its effect on the older Harry, but this has been going on for years on everybody and it is the most despicable invasion of privacy. Which makes it all the more chilling when Dumbledore does it. I also wonder if the question of whether Snape changed anything in Harry’s mind can ever be answered. It would be a lovely chance to blame someone else for some of Harry’s sillier antics. Mostly I am just hoping that there is a grisly grisly end coming up for Snape. Preferably one he sees coming.

Even though it was only the work of one chapter, I thought you did an excellent job of delineating all the Harry’s- the future Harry, the past Harry and the "mixed" Harry. I thought the confusion at first, the knowing things that he couldn’t know was very well done. The conversation between the future and past Harry’s was just heartbreaking- "Oh Harry, you are going to have great friends. You are going to have so many people love you that you won’t be able to believe it". Young Harry’s willingness to sort-of sacrifice himself for friends he doesn’t even know yet is a testament to both young Harry’s loneliness and the strength of character he always had. The adjustment period for the new combined Harry is also well done, the shock at the pristine state of his wand, naming Hedwig again… all the little details that make this a great story. And this very well written, as well as well thought out and plotted. You bring a lot of fresh interest to characters that have already been through this part of their lives, your style is enjoyable, clear and with a great witty "voice" through Harry. I’ve emphasised how well the sadness of Harry’s experiences comes through, but there are also many bits that have made me smile and laugh a little to myself, particular when looking back over parts. The more grown up Harry’s internal asides are great (Since Harry didn’t feel like he was currently doing the ethereal back stroke, he felt it was safe to discard that guide.) and the feel when other character’s POV is shown is decidedly different.

Harry’s slickly executed corned beef gambit on the train was very funny. I thought referring to his bought food as "junk" was a little over the top, but if Ron didn’t think so, who am I to argue? How exactly is he supposed to have heard of the Weasley twins though? Harry’s openness about the Dursleys when he first goes to Hogwarts seems a little odd, but when I think back to how Harry was at eleven in PS, he wasn’t particularly secretive with Ron, and it wasn’t thought odd. Now he’s making a conscious effort to nip any jealousy in the bud and be totally honest about what he can, I suppose it’s really quite reasonable.

Harry is surprisingly good at delicately manipulating his friends. If he wasn’t so deeply guilty about it I’d find it worrying, but since he so patently does not enjoy it, I’m sympathetic. It’s also having great effects. I love the subtle differences in Ron and Hermione’s relationship. Even if it was partially luck, Harry does such a great job of getting them off on a slightly better foot, from the very first time they talk. All that knowledge of their characters really comes in handy. Convincing the hat to put Luna (who’s portrayal I am finding a lot of amusement in) in Gryffindor was also a good move, and for what it’s worth I would love to see more Sorting Hat. I feel he/it is a very underused character in canon and fanon.

Another often underused character I am glad to see a bit of is Professor McGonagall. She is probably one of the few truly competent established teachers at Hogwarts (along with Flitwick and probably Vector and Sinistra, since Hermione has never complained about them) and has always been fair in her treatment of all the students. Anyway, I’m a big fan of hers and am always glad to see a sympathetic (or I would say accurate) portrayal of her. The image of her quelling the "bad cop" Aurors is hilarious. I was even more glad to see Sirius finally getting out in recent chapters though. Harry finally having someone *know* means that things can progress much faster than anticipated, and also means that something radical must be planned for third year! I am looking forward to Sirius’s Horcrux hunt and him and Harry hopefully being able to establish a more equal and healthy relationship than they did in the past. Or the future. You know what I mean.

I notice that updates have been slowing down recently, because of time pressures from work, and that there has been inferior feedback in the HP fandom. I am frequently guilty of poor feedback myself, although I can’t stop the gushing over this story. HP fans get rather spoiled by the masses of stuff out there, and the masses of other people who can "review for them". Having started (that being the operative word) pieces of writing myself that ground to a halt when real life distractions and a lack of feedback sapped my motivation, I understand this totally. Nevertheless, I hope that progress on the story will only slow and not halt totally, because, as I might have mentioned, this is a brilliant story and it deserves to be finished. Besides, I am *dying* to know what happens.

P.S Magical Resonance Imaging test- cute

-end old review-

The most recent chapters have been just as good as the earlier ones. The conclusion to the CoS saga came on so hard and fast (the chapter title was most apt) I had to stop and gather my thoughts, and go back to check I hadn’t missed anything! I am amazed that you found such a convincing way to include the basilisk battle without Harry compromising his character. The fact that it led to the truthful revelation scene I have been longing for, and got Draco expelled and disgraced and Snape smeared is a wonderful bonus! I cried, I laughed, I clapped my hands with glee! Then I subsided into worry over what they will get up to out of sight. But then I reread the student’s cheers and decided that it was worth it.

I find myself liking and respecting all of Harry’s friends even more than I already did. Ginny’s reaction to her and Harry’s likely future relationship has been so perfectly and quietly written that I sigh in secret girlish gladness at the understated romance of it all and glory in not having to scroll past sappiness to save my eye rolls. Her buried diary statements (and Hermione’s and Luna’s) are genius. I had a good giggle over Hermione’s gentle edging round the burning issue and brief belief that she married Fred and George. Ron and Neville and Luna’s acceptance and friendship made me sigh again in a different girlish way. "Harry didn’t know it was possible to hear someone smiling". You are a really really good writer, not just in terms of plot, but in terms of little sentences and turns of phrase and exchanges of dialogue that are never overtly sentimental, but still convey a real depth of emotion. I tend to read too fast the first time I get a chapter, but with you I always take the time to go back after to reread and savour every moment properly.
Luna generally is a joy. Somehow she is as odd as ever, but she actually sort of makes sense. Neville’s sudden realization in chapter 28 that her Snorkack comment was not a total non sequitur was a subtle little turning point, and the sort of effort with her character, and Neville’s, that most authors wouldn’t trouble themselves to make. You are not content as many are to just have her spout nonsense every so often so we don’t forget she is there, pair her with the leftover character for symmetry and make everyone fond of her with little explanation. You are going to the effort to build their relationship and her growing connection to her friends and reality so that I find myself genuinely attached to her as more than a pitiable and amusing stray that Harry has taken in. Mrs. Longbottom’s closed mindedness is a definite blow, and I hope that something will happen to change her mind, or that she at least fails to find a way to influence Neville’s friendships inside of school.
Dumbledore too is portrayed with depth. I enjoyed the portion of chapter 28 from his POV and am both sympathetic and frustrated. I hope that the next year will give him a clearer view of Harry’s character and purity of intention- it was unsettling to see that even after two years he is still seeing Riddle and his followers in Harry and his friends. I hope that McGonagall’s (she continues to be one of my favourites) assurances can change his mind. But the nightmare was beyond cruel! I was filled with fear that you had grown bored and decided to end it! I wasn’t going to review if you had either! But thankfully my fears proved even less real than Harry’s.
Percy is still intriguing. I long for some insight into his mind now he knows the truth. Hopefully Harry’s defense of him with Ginny’s help and certain Ministry related revelations have been good for his attitude. Not sure how he’ll take the upcoming article though…
With Harry’s final release of secrecy to all the Weasleys and his interview the plot is really starting to fly. The last vestiges of the past seem to have floated away and while the summer has been both enjoyable and eventful (that was the least disastrous dementor attack ever!) I am beyond keen to get to the school year and find out what diabolical schemes are in place. I am totally ignorant of what might be in store. Not only did Harry’s premptive publicity strike left me breathless and speechless, several Horcruxes been dispatched (or at least collected) with no fanfare whatsoever and Riddle Senior’s bones are gone! GoF is down the toilet with PoA and I fear that Voldemort’s return might come in third year instead of fourth.

Viridian replied:

I am so glad that you went ahead and posted this whole thing. It's very gratifying to receive proof positive that somone 'got' a lot of the little things I've been embedding or working on in the text. It's hard, from my end of the keyboard, to know exactly when I've hinted at something strongly enough, or given enough examples of something else to make my point. I think it's a common issue for many writers, which is why 'meaty' reviews are so highly prized!

Reading something like this makes me want to call off sick from work and stay home and write the next chapter!

Thank you, and I hope you enjoy 32!

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Wednesday 25th October 2006 6:30am for Harsh Words

*Snicker* That interview should have some "interesting" consequences, hopefully including severe palpitations of the conscience (assuming he has one) on Fudge's part. The "no holds barred" approach may be needed to get folks moving.

I loved the way the dementors were taken care; there's something rather satisfying in seeing them discommoded.

Junky posted a comment on Wednesday 25th October 2006 6:20am for Harsh Words

Are you going on the powerful!Ginny route then? I thought you would be one of the few authors who didn't have to make Ginny all powerful just because Harry is. Oh well.

...

Actually I don't know if you are going that way anyway. Its just that Ginny defeating a ... very very experienced Harry irks me. Even if he is unable to display all his skills.

Long time since I've reviewed for you on this site ... FF.net isn't sending me alerts, y'see.

Gambatte for your next chapter, Matt-san, whichever fic it be.

freezer141 posted a comment on Tuesday 24th October 2006 8:50pm for Harsh Words

Great chapter. Looking forward to the next one. It is one of my favourite stories so far. Keep up the good work. Loved the interview and really interested how the ministry will react.
Thanks

Terry Chang posted a comment on Tuesday 24th October 2006 4:26pm for Harsh Words

everytime that i think the story gets in a grove, you switch it up on me. harry declaring war on half the the wizarding population. i wonder if you'll be putting some characters that we don't expect on different sides of this divide. it'll be interesting to read.

uberwald posted a comment on Tuesday 24th October 2006 3:15pm for Harsh Words

Very enjoyable. Reuniting Sirius and Remus and exposing them to the twins as the Marauders was well done, though I feel like there was something not quite right with the Skeeter interview... I almost hope it was foreshadowing...