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Cassandra30 posted a comment on Wednesday 10th August 2011 7:38am for A Visit from the Eldest...

I love the scene with Bill bringing down the Burrows' new wards. I like all the memory scenes as well.

mantis posted a comment on Sunday 12th April 2009 4:11pm for A Visit from the Eldest...

“I asked him to make sure that the next time Voldemort comes for me, he’ll come to Hogwarts because it’ll be the easier target.” Yup, that about sums it up. No half-measures here. :)

"In the future, Hermione had usually taken care of such things when needed. After her death, he and Ron usually moved about too much to bother with them." Interesting. As speculation about DH, this is half-right: Hermione does take care of warding their campsites, but the wards are always needed even when they're moving every single day. Fortunately, Hermione didn't die; Harry and Ron would have been up a creek without her.

“He wanted any survivors of an attack on The Burrow to have nightmares about it for the rest of their lives.” Yeah, that does sound like it would make Hogwarts the easier target...

The way you've worked Arithmancy into this story is interesting; JKR established that there is such a thing, but never did anything with it, or with Ancient Runes, even though Hermione studied the subject. It makes sense that mathematical magic would play a key role in the construction of permanent wards around a magical site.

The anchors for the permanent wards around the Burrow sound rather like the Charter Stones of Garth Nix's "Old Kingdom Trilogy" ("Sabriel," "Lirael," and "Abhorsen").

"It seems he was promoted and sent out of the country." Heh. Do wizards use the expression, "kicked upstairs?"

"a letter for one of his contacts." Rita? Given her penchant for raking the Ministry over the coals, I would think the Sirius/Pettigrew story is one she could really sink her teeth (or mandibles, as the case may be) into. Even if she wasn't so inclined, Harry has a lot of leverage he could bring to bear...

"It was surprising to Harry that some of the Weasleys didn’t get sorted into Hufflepuff instead of Gryffindor." You've noticed that, too, eh? One interesting thing about the Trio is that, while they're all unquestionably Gryffindors, they each have a strong affinity to one of the other houses. Harry, with his Parseltongue and capacity for ruthlessness, "would have done well in Slytherin;" Hermione has more of Ravenclaw's cardinal virtue than any Ravenclaw in her year, somewhat to the chagrin of that house's students, and admitted that the hat considered placing her there. Ron isn't as sharp, most ways, as either of his friends (though he obviously possesses a great deal of the peculiar kind of intelligence needed to excel at chess), but he's intensely loyal. I played a bit on that in my own fic with this little exchange:

Cho smiled at Harry. "That’s better. Now, who wants to talk Quidditch?"

Hermione rolled her eyes as Ron grinned like a madman. "What team do you follow?" he asked.

"The Tornados."

"You and half of Britain."

"They are picking up a lot of new fans this year, aren’t they? But I’ve supported them since I was six."

"Ah, well, that’s all right then," said Ron. "I just don’t care for fair-weather fans."

Cho laughed. "Let me guess: Chudley Cannons, right?"

Ron’s smile turned rueful. "Got it in one."

"I have to admire your loyalty, then. You could have been in Hufflepuff."

"Nah, only a Gryffindor would be brave enough to keep going to their matches year after year."

I think I figured out why the Ministry would want to delay Sirius' release: who inherits Twelve Grimmauld Place and the Black fortune if he dies now? Best guess would be Narcissa Malfoy. She's the youngest of the Black sisters, but with Bellatrix in Azkaban and Andromeda disowned, she's probably still Sirius' legal heir, although Andromeda might conceivably contest that.

I'm thinking that once Pettigrew is neutralized, the next major loose end Harry should be working out a way to tie off is one Bartemious Crouch Jr. It would be nice if he could foil the little creep's parents' plan to sneak him out of Azkaban in the first place. (Actually, if that hasn't happened yet the tightened security of Azkaban could have an unexpected fringe benefit.) Of course, if the Ministry morons let Pettigrew escape, knocking that link out of the chain leading to Voldemort's resurrection will become a lot more urgent.

I just read the "Snape's Eyes" essay on HP-Lexicon; very interesting, and I'm pretty much sold on the idea that Snape was using Legilimency, at least to scan surface thoughts and emotions for duplicity or animosity, throughout the series. However, it also makes a strong case, which DH proved correct, that Snape was actually working for Dumbledore, not Voldemort, even when he "murdered" (euthanized would probably be more accurate, given the headmaster's condition at the time) the former.

Oh, a couple of additional thoughts about the last chapter. First, a Glock-19 doesn't really have unlimited ammunition, but it could seem that way to the poor slob with the six-shooter on the other side of a gunfight even if there's no conjuration involved. If one was going to enchant a gun to give it unlimited ammunition, why not do it to a .44 magnum? Dirty Harry Potter, anyone? Second, I like the side benefit of getting rid of Scabbers early: the biggest source of conflict between Ron and Hermione in Year Three was Crookshanks' constant pursuit of the rat (or rat-bastard, as it turned out). I'll be interested to see what kind of familiar Hermione gets, if any, now that Crookshanks is Ron's cat.

Hoss posted a comment on Saturday 1st December 2007 1:47am for A Visit from the Eldest...

I'm just plan haveing good fun reading this. Thanks so much.

TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Saturday 24th November 2007 10:30am for A Visit from the Eldest...

Very good, looks like things are going to get interesting.


bgoldnyxnet posted a comment on Wednesday 14th November 2007 8:22am for A Visit from the Eldest...

17 USC 107 deals with "fair use". There is a four-factor test that the court applies when deciding whether a given instance constitutes fair use (and hence a defence against getting sued). Whether or not you get paid is only *one* of the factors.

(1) the purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational purposes;
(2) the nature of the copyrighted work;
(3) the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole; and
(4) the effect of the use upon the potential market for or value of the copyrighted work.

Viridian replied:

I'll give you three guesses as to the profession of one of my betas...

Was there really a point to this?

bimalc posted a comment on Sunday 21st January 2007 6:12pm for A Visit from the Eldest...

Not to be pedantic, and at the risk of embarrassing myself as IANAL (though my academic background includes the study of Health Law), your beta is only partially right with respect to 17 USC and disclaimers.

Specifically, there is no general requirement for a disclaimer in the USC regardless of profit motive. 17 USC 107 governs so-called fair use. Attribution (which is what a disclaimer amounts to) does not directly factor into a finding of fair use. Rather, the important points of law are the extent to which your work infringes on an existing copyright and the reasons for your infringement.

Disclaimers are only useful insofar as they persuade copy right holders to like you and not take legal action against you or insofar as they ingratiate you to the judge hearing your case so he might be more sympathetic to you.

The unfortunate truth is that if JK (or more realistically one of the media companies she is associated with) wished to take down this work, there is very little legal defense available to you, disclaimer or no.

17 USC 106 clearly establishes copyright to include derivative works, which fanfic clearly is. The exceptions in 17 USC 107 only grant special privilege to non-profit work when such work is educational.

Sorry, but disclaimer or no, you're in the same position and 17 USC 107 doesn't offer you much protection either way.

Tobang posted a comment on Saturday 13th January 2007 4:05pm for A Visit from the Eldest...

Ok I hate to be mean about all this but I feel that if I don’t put sharp edges on my comments they won’t be noticed…

Angst is not a bad thing in moderation but you are starting to get freaking annoying with all the angst in this story. I get that Harry has nightmares….stop describing them, I get that Harry is ashamed of the fact that he’s manipulating his friends….stop mention it and I get that that Harry was in love with his old Ginny but this Ginny is different and she might not love him…please stop bringing it up. This story was fantastic up until about ‘A summer seen through warm brown eyes’ then all the angst just started to get fucking annoying and repetitive (I stopped to write this after the next chapter).

A specific example would be near the end of “A visit from the eldest’ when remus came to visit for the first time…

“Remus stopped talking when Harry spoke, his mouth hanging slightly open. It was a disquieting sight for Harry. It reminded him uncomfortably of the way Remus’ face had gone slack after Macnair stabbed the werewolf with a silver dagger. It took nearly a day for him to finally succumb to the silver poisoning. In the end, the best Harry or the remaining Order members could do was ease his pain. Harry sat with him until the end as the last of the Marauders occupied his final hours telling his best friend’s son stories of their Hogwarts years. Harry didn’t know if he was doing it more to dull the pain or in the hope that some of their history would outlive his end. Harry didn’t really think it mattered. Tonks barely made it back before he passed. She kissed him goodbye and he quietly breathed his last. Harry held her as she cried on his shoulder like a broken-hearted child.”

I’m not sure if you realize you do this or not, but for every character you introduce you describe their depressing death scene (several times in some cases)…I get it, the war was a disaster and everyone died horrible deaths. You shouldn’t try to keep the story focused on that fact though. There are more tactful ways of saying how they died…like when Harry finally fesses up he’s from the future, then he can prattle on about how each character died a horrible death and it will be one hell of an angsty chapter but it would all be in one chapter so it wouldn’t seem like the entire story is a teenaged angst fest. As is I have a feeling you are going to have a chapter like that anyway and all this previous angst is completely and utterly unnecessary.

Move The Story Along At A Faster Pace.

This story brings to mind the whole “two steps forward one step backwards” metaphor for me. It seems like you feel that for every new plot advancement you do you must restate all of Harry’s old wounds and doubts. You don’t.

I really do like the plot of this story; it’s good, original and has depth. Same with the characters; they have depth, are believable and are interesting to read about. It’s the balancing between these two good things you need to work on. Right now (at the end of chapter ‘A visit from the Eldest’) you need a lot more plot advancement and a lot less character depth.

Think of it this way, why should I care about all the intricate details of your characters if they aren’t doing anything interesting. Balance the fleshing out of your characters with the advancement of your plot and the story will become a lot more bearable for me to read.

A few more things… cool off the love between Harry and Ginny…remember Eleven Years Old and Harry’s already been back for over a year; you would think he would start to get a little desensitized to seeing old faces. I do like this story, it just starting to annoy the hell out of me.


P.S. One more thing…if you mention that one of the main reasons Harry’s friends with Ginny is because she helped him through the barrier at kings cross one more time I’m seriously going to snap.

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Tuesday 31st October 2006 11:17am for A Visit from the Eldest...

The work explaining wards was terrific.

Fine writing.

Rocky235 posted a comment on Saturday 1st April 2006 3:31am for A Visit from the Eldest...

I'm not too good with reviewing, but I can tell you I really like your story. Padfoot seems to be in doggie doo doo. Ha!

Your characters are comfortable, easy to like I guess.

Thank you for posting your work.